Conversation via Yahoo messenger...

25YearOldHornyLoser: So, what kind of freak are you?

Me: I didnt know there were categories

25YearOldHornyLoser: ya there are levels of freakness

Me: Uh... I'm level 3 with +2 hit points?

(and quite possibly why I don't date much now)

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I've come to a realization tonight.

I'm too lazy to be vain.

I used to be terribly vain. I wouldn't leave the house without makeup on. The thought of being seen without eyeliner on or a day's growth of hair on my legs would put my stomach in knots. I exercised, dieted, threw up, took drugs, and starved myself to keep the weight off.

But now? Meh.

I ( Read more... )

To:  complaints@tsa.gov
From: Me
Subject: Please return or replace my luggage lock.

Travel date: July 25, 2006
Airport: Detroit Metro (DTW)
Flight: Northwest Airlines flight NW 997 departing 9:13 AM, arriving at Miami International (MIA) at 12:02 PM.

My luggage was locked with a "Travel Smart" combination lock (combination XXX) when it was checked at ( Read more... )

And I did not once burst in to flames, thanks to SPF 60+ sunscreen and a beach umbrella.

I am never complaining about Michigan's humidity again. Michigan has nothing on south Florida in July.

Pics to come as soon as... um... I get around to it.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_kPuTAtBDB8&feature=Views&page=1&t=t&f=b

Fuckin' priceless.

You know I'd do the same.

(Oh wait, I have done the same...and I'll do it again in a heartbeat. I'm no one's whipping boy.)

Music meme

1. Favorite Beatles song: Obladi, Oblada
2. Favorite Rolling Stones song: Paint it Black
3. Favorite Doors song: LA Woman
4. Favorite Bob Dylan song: Ah, no, sorry.
5. Favorite Manic Street Preachers song: Um... who?
6. TV Theme song: none
7. Favorite Prince song: Pussy Control
8. Favorite Madonna song: Ray of Light
9. Favorite Michael ( Read more... )

I have a mole on my chest that is visible when I'm wearing a low cut or V neck shirt.  My 3 year old nephew is fascinated by it.

"Owie?"

"No, it's a mole."

"Mole."

"It's a freckle."

"It hurts?"

"No, it doesn't hurt, it's just a big freckle."

"It's a penis?"

?!

"No, it's not a penis."

adding under my breath, "Aunt Nan hasn't had one of those on her chest in ( Read more... )

At an estate auction, of course.

Ever been punched in the nose by a piece of furniture?  I was picking up the footed silverware chest I bought to carry it through the crowd and the lid popped down and bopped me in the nose.

On another note, I really, really, wish the auctioneers around here would school themselves in even the most rudimentary ( Read more... )