(no subject)
I didn't go out. I denied everybody. I sat at my sisters computer and played every song that I had on my booombones youlame account. I replayed wandering star. the more I heard it, the more I drank. It's like I needed to force myself to hear it and deal with things. I blasted all of that music until 9pm. My sisters came home and Kayla wanted to go to the store. So we walked to a&w at 11pm. Kayla and I both had pocket knives, and Kristen had the flashlight. we got there, and this guy walking out back towards the woods said "it's dangerous coming back here" or something dim, and I said in my most ghetto voice "you act like we ain't strapped." we all started giggling.. but after coming out, we had those knives raised, flashlight out, vanessa on the phone for extra protection. he had been gone.
I quit drinking about 3 hours ago and ate a ton.
I just.
Idk.
I'm happy, but I'm not. I feel so awkward.