Going to a friend's party and knowing virtually no one else there. Or any situation when I'm going to a group of people who all know each other but not me. That's really uncomfortable.
watching everyone else way hotter(better chances) than you are make out when you're sitting there sober on the couch wondering why you say "no" to drinking. And you look around, like a movie, as the camera turns from above your head to your rolling eyes. Then jello shots (horse feet) are being pounded down the throats of your friends as they're dancing and laughing (and touching) eachother. Everything is falling, except your seat, and the sound of some shitty techno song is beating in your head, and eyes are burning you new holes. Sitting outside doesn't help the smell of dead cigs shits all over you.
But you know when you get home and fall asleep with all your clothes on arms engulfing a pillow you have gotten by.
i had recently been going out on dates with a boy who i met through my group of guy friends outside of school. i think i genuinely liked him more than anyone i've ever met before. one night i was upset so he walked two miles to my house at 2 in the morning to see me, took me to the park, and told me he wanted me to trust him because he wanted to be there for me. after that night i hadn't seen him for three weeks, and hardly heard from him in that time. one night i was hanging out with all of his friends and they stopped at his house to pick him up and i sat in the backseat of the car next to him. for the duration of the night he didn't talk to me much.
and never before in my life have i experienced so much discomfort, anxiety, and nervousness just to sit next to someone. when i got home i had to run my face in the sink because it was still burning from being red for three hours.
i'm not sure really. i talked to him later that night and he gave me all this about me being amazign and wanting to be good for me and sorry he'd been sick and busy with work and blah blah. i went away that weekend and when i came back i called him like he told me to and he was all "yeah, i don't think i can hang out tonight.. the other night i was convinced i wanted this but, i'm not ready. you're going to hate me but i don't want to lose our friendship but i'm not ready. bye."
i think he was kind of freaking out about going away to college. but, this was two weeks ago and he hasn't spoken to me since, so i guess the whole friendship thing was bullshit too!
he doesn't seem to be dependable. you're probably better without the instability of his promises. boys can be so dumb. I very much hope you find a wonderful one.
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But you know when you get home and fall asleep with all your clothes on arms engulfing a pillow you have gotten by.
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did anyone say voice?
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and never before in my life have i experienced so much discomfort, anxiety, and nervousness just to sit next to someone. when i got home i had to run my face in the sink because it was still burning from being red for three hours.
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i think he was kind of freaking out about going away to college. but, this was two weeks ago and he hasn't spoken to me since, so i guess the whole friendship thing was bullshit too!
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