(Untitled)
this is probably the most important entry i'll ever post, so read it because YOU are probably in it.so i decided that i'm going to go through and name off/talk about every person that i've REALLY cared about over the past year. [meaning from last august to this august
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we hang soon.
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everytime you, sarah, courtney, or millissa i always think about last summer/the slumber party.
i love youuu.
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& i definately know how you feel
you were my very best friend through everything
you just know how much things hurt
& i trusted you with the world i never meant we werent friends
it just hurt me as a best friend because you meant more to me than everyone else.
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i understand where you are coming from, believe me.
it was just a lot to take on at the time.
i don't know how to explain it without it sounding like i'm making excuses, but yeah.
i really want to talk soon or something.
you know, without tension or hositility or whatever.
because i love you and i want to make things right.
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i love you more than anything & that is something you should know
& trust i have in the past few days come to learn just how few people i would really put my butt out on the line for...
call me. ASAP
& ill tell you all about everything & i know you will understand why i was mean that last time like i was. i know you & i know you wouldnt have been like that
but im pretty sure people were pushing you one way to act like that just as they were pushing me to be harsh.
ps- i have 2 classes with VA this year. i was like I THINK CATHERINE IS SWIMMING AGAIN!
haha i think she thought i was crazy for bringing that up but yeah...
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i've told some of my friends from myspace and crap [haahha i just said that] that have asked me how i was.. probably just hoping i'd be like 'im fine' but no i'd comment back with a huge paragraph about how i feel bad because of what happened with you and how i missed you and blahblahblah and they were probably like WTF SHUT UP!
i have a lot to tell you!
haha, yeah i'm swimming again in a few weeks. :)
i can't wait.
tell VA i said hey or something, haha.
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some shit people said to me about you & how we were towards each other
that you dont know
i tried calling for a while there
to tell you
& you needed to listen
it just hurt that that was who you gave up our time to be around
& that was who you lied about
i would care but not as much as if we talked it over
you were my world as a friend & i couldnt lie to you about a thing
i trusted you with too much
& that is why it hurt
that and you were around people that would do/ talk about me
& i couldnt take a bad word from anyone about you around me...
it made me think i held you at higher standards than you ever held me.
it hurt.
& when i tried to tell you.. you didnt care to understand you made me feel worse.
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so you can not make that comment
& i am not gonna put out there what was said....
but you can not fairly make such a statement without complete knowledge.
you are not in a place to judge.
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im not judging you at all, so that was a dumb thing for you to say.
you just blow everything way out of porportion.
catherine didnt do anything wrong.
all she did was hang out with people and have a good time.
youre insaaaaaane, dude.
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:)
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we need to.
i miss your dad taking us to get mcdonalds in the morning.
AND PING PONG.
andddd i still listen to that mixed cd you made me.. every time i do i think about youuu.
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that cd was the shit, especially the rap one.
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what are you doing this weekend?
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