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[______shank]

So...I'm pretty concerned about the lack of direction I've got. I have an amazing ability to dive right into something mediocre and make into the shittiest situation. Like with college: I'm fucked. College is fucked. I have no ambition. No drive to intergrate myself. Not one part of me really cares about the future. Am I supposed to plan for

Comments

[at_gun_point]

I completely agree jonny boy.Except with the no cigarette part.And the I haven't really worked toward shit.But I have noticed a lot of change in your drive and ambition since I first met you.Maybe it's a show, or maybe you really do care , but whatever the situation.You obviously have some reason for what you are doing in the school department, might as well use it if you have got it.Maybe you can open your own abortion clinic one day.

[______shank]

I need to find the balance, man. I like to think I can something good of myself, but I get caught up with nonsense and loose sight of what I'm working towards. I'm trying, yknow, I really am. But I dunno...I keep alienating myself more and more. And I'm stuck on the idea that what I do best is make things worse. I've got a chip on my shoulder, a monkey on my back; I dunno, whatever the fuck you want to call it, it's a problem. I'm not exactly sure what it is though. Deeply rooted insecurities that are holding me back. Slowly I'm getting closer, but it's hard to find when you're blind. We'll just have to wait and see I guess.