I am so sick and tired.
I hate myself.
I'm spoiled.
I'm whiney.
I'm self-centered.
I'm not very bright.
I think I'm better than everyone else.
I try to out-do everyone.
And I lie.
I also am not comfortable with my self image at all. I have no self-confidence which is why I just spent 15 minutes cutting up pictures of myself and crying. I hate how I look. I hate how I dress. I hate how I am.
And yeah. Whatever. If you're reading this and you think. "OMG She is so annoying." Yeah okay good for you because I don't want to talk to you anyway. And if you're saying, "God she needs to stop she's doing it for attention," Well hey guess what. Maybe I am. Get a life and stop worrying about how other people are going to take your attention.
I can't stand this anymore. I just can't. I don't know what to do, I don't know who to talk to I can't do this anymore. Everyone I talk to doesn't understand. No one understands but me because it's a problem I have with myself. I hate how I am. I hate it so much that it makes me want to be someone else.
I want to be someone else so badly, it hurts sometimes. I'm tired of not being good enough. I'm tired of having pink and black hair. I'm tired of having to put on eyeliner to make myself feel pretty. I'm tired of worrying about what other people think. I'm tired of being insecure. I'm tired of having to deal with my mom's problems. I'm tired of having to listen to my sister whine. I'm tired of having to be alone when I'm at home. I'm tired of being desperate.
I'm just tired. I really am.
I'm not ready to grow up. I'm not ready. But I am. And I can't take this anymore.
Caroline and I were talking about it. And our group is gone. It is. And I can't change that. I hate growing up because it's not fair and I have no control. I hate having no control.
All right well I'm done pissing and moaning about myself now.