sing me anything
ya know sometimes i cant help that my heart breaks...even if it has NOTHING to do with a member of the male persuasion. sometimes it just does. and im almost positive its my biggest weakness. i care about a lot of things wayyyyy to much, and i want to stop that, but im afraid that i cant be quite that heartless. i think too much, i feel too much, and i much too much. =/ and sometimes, when i try to stop, it just makes me think too much, feel too much, etc. i just want to start making things up about my life that make it seem like everything is alright, because eventually, ill start believing that everything is alright. and for a while, ill be fine. but i cant do that. i hate when i get like this, and curse everything, and wonder why there is no one around to make it better. because the ones that should be here, are never here anymore, and the ones that i dont need, find a way to weasel their way in, and most of the time, make things worse. i know that ill always have collin and jess to talk to about stuff, but i dont think it helps as much as id like it to. it just releases it. its not a cure to the problem, its a cure to the symptoms. i wish some people would change and more bluntly grow up, so that they can maybe correct the things that they do (which i guess applies to me as well), but i know that people just cant change (or more likely, refuse to),and all you can hope for is that they will realize their own filthy self. (thank you the fuck up). not change, just realization. and maybe thats the closest thing to change, and the closest thing to amelioration. i dunno. maybe something amazing will happen soont that will just change everything and make me incredibuly happy. but then again, praying for a blizzard in the desert is asking for way too much.