my internet was jacked up for a little while. but my dad brought home his notebook. all is well in the world ( Read more... )

so ladies & gentlemen, i found out my FIFTEEN YEAR OLD COUSIN is a smokin' screwin' cuttin' kind of gal. her mom found her online journal, who relayed it to my g-ma, who relayed it to me. i read it & i wanted to cry. i believe i started crying. she was shipped off to boarding school last year & came back at the end of this school year because she ( Read more... )

honestly, sometimes i feel like i'm on the outside looking in. oftentimes i'm not even in the conversation. i'm somewhere else, trying to see everything from a spectator's point. trying to see outside of myself, to watch it happen rather than participate. possibly why i say things i may not mean, because i'm not even paying attention. autopilot on ( Read more... )

hearbroken.

what the fuck.

why am i so surprised & upset? i should've known.

i am a dumbfuck.

FUCK.

it's the best feeling in the world, seeing someone you haven't seen in months & getting the same feeling you used to get everyday. it's the worst feeling when you pick up that the feeling isn't mutual. i can't say for a fact that josh doesn't feel the way he used to, but it feels like it. i don't know what to do. if he has a girlfriend, i'll be ( Read more... )

i believe i am to work at julia's day spa after i graduate/pass state boards. i'm extremely excited. she introduced me as 'the girl that will be working here after she graduates.' i guess it's safe to assume i have a job ( Read more... )

i went to julia's today. it's such an awesome place. the set-up is amazing. they offer so much, very friendly & warm enviornment. we talked about my working there part-time when i graduate. i could also do manicures & pedicures as well as assist in spray tanning & body wraps, which means staying busy & more money. it's very exciting. julia was very ( Read more... )

i know not many people read this but for you loyal fans, my internet is busted. yeah that's right. i shalln't be updating much. not that i did in the first place. but i did get a library card for my local library. so i can use their computers every now & then until mine is fixed. & i can read again. isn't that wonderful ( Read more... )

i watched finding neverland with me mum & it was magical. we were both teary-eyed at the end. very sweet movie. i watched sideways with russell & justin on wednesday & it was quite funny. i appreciated it ( Read more... )

why is it that i start to feel good about myself, something happens, something stupid & insignificant, turns it all around? how can one little thing make me feel such disgust towards myself? why do i detest myself so much? i know feeling insecure is normal, but this is fucking ridiculous. what the hell? ! sometimes i wish i was just a mind & not a