i have way too many secrets and i'm terrible at decisions. i break too many hearts. i have a tendancy to push away anything that's good for me. i'm probably too secure with fucking up. i'm not afraid of failure. i'm not afraid of myself, but i put out a clear warning that everyone else should be if they plan on caring about me at all. i told one ( Read more... )

shit. i think too much.

if i could be anything to him i'd like to be his heartache. the pain he's endured throughout his entire life all crammed into an acidic ball rolling around inside of him eating away. i'd wish to be such a horrible thing only so i could self destruct leaving only the remains of memories and lessons learned from heartache. what isn't understood is ( Read more... )

my negativity period has ended. tonight we ran and danced around naked in the wet grass of the field after it rained. man, i love my friends. i also like knowing that a certain first kiss will not be rushed, but meant for the exact moment it comes about to be what a first kiss should be, something special. i also like knowing there's a boy who ( Read more... )

every once in a while you just want to throw your arms around someone and never let go. it's the times when you need someone to understand more than ever that no one does. blah. mmmm. pictures later.

new layout, new haircut and a new room. pictures soon.

i like to cuddle.

school ended about three weeks ago and my freshman year was.. interesting and dramatic and heartbreaking and wild to say the least. so much has happened but i'm not going to write about all of it. no, not tonight anyway. instead i'll reflect over what i've learned from these events. i will type words that fit together to perfectly describe how i've ( Read more... )

it'd be nice to write or talk to someone about all of what i'm feeling and thinking but no words could explain the complexity of it all. it's been over a year and a half of chaos and so many people think they understand. no one knows the half of it but hey, i don't know the half of your story either.

( cause we all get tired, i mean eventually there's nothing left to do but sleep )

it's a decision, happiness isn't just thrown at you. if by chance things, events or people that cause you happiness ARE thrown at you, do yourself a favor and appreciate them. don't take them for granted. things go missing more easily than they are found.