i am stubborn."kill them with kindness" is advice that i do not want to hear. i don't think people should be treated any differently than they deserve. i realize i don't deserve to be treated nicely. you are hollow. there is nothing more to you than exterior, skin and bones. hair and nails. when everything is a joke there is nothing more than what ( Read more... )

 i wake up in the middle of the night my door is open, i cracked the cup, my thumb is throbbing, the light should not be on. why is the fucking light on. i go to the grocery store only to forget what i intend to buy. i don't remember where i parked the car. where the fuck is the car. i want lemonade, i don't even like lemonade. you know, adults. ( Read more... )

everything is circles.
once someone has broken my trust there is no way they are getting it back. i dont know if i should try to change that, but it's not really working in my favor right now, so i'm saying maybe i should. i must stop making assumptions about situations, my imagination is far better than it should be. you ruined my night, you lied ( Read more... )

i had a really good birthday, hawaii is wearing me down.

i'm going to go for a swim. i am done with everything that you are and everything you make me feel. the good and bad. i am tired of it and i am bored. but i won't leave. i do not know where to go. i have no motivation and i have no hope for anything new. i'm sorry that is depressing. i'd apologize for the negativity but that can only change when ( Read more... )

i can get four books for two dollars. the wind is tearing apart all of my things. "fair is fair". i miss barnes. i have no friends in hawaii. no carvel cake, no family. oh do not complain, you are in hawaii. he would stay forever just to say he saw you on your knees. it's difficult to follow your mind because you say nothing "he thinks as he goes ( Read more... )

my liver can't keep up. i need more vitamin c, something. do not try to justify yourself by putting time limits on things. it is a lot longer than five seconds. promises are bullshit, no self control. ahah self control. youre an idiot. actions speak louder than words. i hope it all slaps you in the face. what? how do i get myself into these ( Read more... )

just pull the sleeve of my shirt and i will follow you. no, but i do. look an hour and dirty sheets. ahahhaha im happy. whatever, who cares. i can't even think, everything contradicts. im dizzy, i need to sleep? i slept all night. why do i have a runny nose all the time?, oH YEAH. the lights are really bright, but i want to go to safeway. i want to ( Read more... )

time your entrances for perfect exits. it's so easy to just keep thinking ahead,.later. tomorrow, worry. i am on an island, there is no where to go. the water is blue but so are my fingernails. so are my fucking eyes. grow up. grow the fuck up.

most of the time i feel like it's practically impossible to breathe. i can scream at the top of my lungs until there is no air. then i won't have to breathe ( Read more... )