i always find myself in these situations with a guy i've known for what seems like forever. friendly banter to the highest degree, continuous flirtiness whether intentional or not. he makes me feel wanted, not just as a friend but as a real person. like he actually wants to know me for who i am and could be later in life. i had a dream about him ( Read more... )

i saw 39 whales and a sunfish. it looked like a shark. no joke.

i ate lots of tasty seafood treats. you know you're jealous.

i saw witches and pirates and bought a deck of tarot cards.

i am moving to maine in two years, i have officially decided as of yesterday.

how was your weekend? hehe.

and i'm spent.

this weekend, i am headed to massachuesetts to watch some whales splash around while i stare awkwardly and take many photos. i find this calming. if that makes me weird, so be it. this kind of reminds me of our west coast trip last summer. a trip i never wanted to come home from. there's just something about being on the road for weeks at a time ( Read more... )

i want to take you far from the cynics in this town and kiss you on the mouth . we'll cut our bodies free from the tethers of this seem . start a brand new colony where everything will change . we'll give ourselves new names . identities erased . the sun will heat the grounds under all their feet in this brand new ( Read more... )

if i don't see you for the next three to four weeks, this is why:

a)house sitting/cataloguing books for a friend of my mom's

b) taking care of my niece because my sister is a fuck hole

c)working like a crazy person

d) i don't like you very much to begin with.

i think the stress is building once again.

pay off all credit card debt
(this should be complete between october and december)

save up for vegas and the bahamas
(two trips i can't wait to go on)

figure out what to attend school for

apply to the university of santa cruz

scope out living/job arrangements in monterey/santa cruz area

life is on the fast track to somewhere. finally.

don't ( Read more... )

this morning i woke feeling groggy and a bit out of my element and i wondered to myself: 'why the fuck am i still sick?!?!?!' i think i'll go to a clinic on monday.

waiting for your life is a bit tiring. i think the stress of it all is slowly creeping back to me. and people wonder why i don't trust.

i need a vacation.

something good needs to happen.
or i'm leaving.
believe it.

you let my half brothers find me. FINALLY.

thank you.

faithfully yours forever,

arika

yesterday was fun. frustrating, but fun. i can finally move on or something. i don't really want to but i will anyways. you get a sense of what you're worth to others when situations like these arise. i'm glad this happened. i wouldn't change it, at least not now. maybe things will be different later on but i'm ready to put myself out there ( Read more... )