My reflection, dirty mirror, there's no connection, to myself ||I'm your lover, I'm your Z e r o ||
Um. I still feel half dead. But if I never get this entry started, the longer it will take, and the less it will probably happen. So Let’s begin? I was never good at this writing stuff.
Last Thursday was my Luau. I spent the majority of the day with Megan and Brandi trying to get everything set up. It took maybe three hours to get everything looking great, and it was well worth it. The place looked nice. I went grocery shopping and spent some money to keep the kids full. Bamboo hanging from the trellis, the fire place and the Tiki torches in place, and with the lights gave a very casual scene, abounding in merriment. Rose and Ryan were the first to show up while I was still getting ready in my Hawaiian outfit and such, and Ryan helped make some Kool-Aid. I love that kid so much. Rose and him made the night so very great. With him changing into my clothes and Rose bringing her guitar. It was just a very Mellow and peaceful party. A half an hour or so after it got underway, Rachael showed up. She was my first friend when I moved here, over 10 years, and I haven’t seen her in 6 or 7. I cried like a little kid, it was so good seeing her, she hasn’t changed a bit, and it was too great. I love all the kids who came to it. All my girls are the best, and coming from a girl who absolutely hates females because they’re so two-faced, it means a lot. They would know. Nina, Megan, Sarah, Danielle, Lola, Megan, Rachael, Rose, Erika, Rosalind never let me down. Im not one for a big ring of friends, but with friends like that, there is no downsizing. And the guys are absolutely wonderful. I had a rough start to the party because Eric left and it pissed me off, cause its not like I get to see Mr. boyfriend all the time, so it got upsetting when he did it again. I had my Dano and the other guys to cheer me up. The party lasted until midnight-ish, with me settling things with Eric, and the guys with Rose and I around the fire with her strumming and singing. I took Rachael home in style, lol. I took out the four-wheeler and drove her down the street avoiding cops and stuff. Then the guys left, and Rose sat on the front porch with me, strumming her guitar and belting out lyrics that were all too perfect to the moment. I can’t even remember it now, and I don’t even know if she can, it was made up on the spot, and it summed up everything in a nut shell. Brought a tear to my eye, and the neighbors and my dad outside to listen to her. I’m not one to be oh so mushy about things, but the night was one of the best I’ve had in a while. The neighbor kid from West Virginia came out and helped me clean up after the party like a sweetheart, and it was done around 2 ish. Record time, I’m glad I didn’t crash and wait to clean up in the morning cause it rained that night. I think I’ll throw one or two before the end up this summer, because even though I had maybe 40+, it was a peaceful thing. And the rents haven’t said anything about it, lasting so long and such. They’re old fashioned, a bit, and were a bit shocked I had boys there, but were cool about it. I found something in the “wholesome’s” I didn’t find anywhere else with the bullshit fakers out there. And I like it. Maybe I shouldn’t of labeled them as early as I did before in the year. It some ways it fits, in many it doesn’t. But what the hell, we’re still kids, still learning about this world, and still growing up. A little too fast for my taste, but that’s the way it must go, I suppose. I’ve never been really fond of what I started to become, but somewhere between the stealing time to reinvent, I stayed in the limbo of things, and even if I’m not too sure where, what it is and where its taking me, Limbo hasn’t been all to bad to me. These eyes aren’t anyone else eyes, and not the color their arid eyes might be. It suits me just fine.
I woke up and had to go to a practice for the International, which was a bore, and left me so tired and sore. I was supposed to start work at 12:00, but luckily Brandi called me and told me the work on the boat didn’t start until 6, so we were going to show up around 4 o’clock. Let me explain what I got myself into first. I went over Brandi’s a couple a days earlier, and answered her phone, acting like a secretary and just goofing off. I handed the phone to her and then her mother, and the women whom I was talking to offered me a job working down at the International ( The International Festival is a big get together in our community where we celebrate all of our cultural diversities since this City is the ‘International City’, or something rather. Just think tons of people down by a river with food from just about every culture you could think of, Princesses from those Cultures and a Parade. Woo.). Brandi and I were supposed to either run a Moon Bounce, Petting Zoo, or face painting. And when night fell, we were going to be working on a two-hundred ft. boat called the STE. Claire. It was transformed into a haunted house thing around October last year, and They were having a ‘Shiver on the Black River’ haunted boat house, a sort of encore to what happened earlier in the fall. We got there around 4 and helped out on the boat, and I was introduce to some great guys. I don’t know exactly what they all did, but Im assuming Frank had the Run of the haunted boat, since he was the head honcho figure the entire time. I met tons of people but I was only friendly when I was transformed in my costume and make-up. We worked a sectioned known as the mirrors, the was next to a section called the shadow room, which Brandi’s friend thing Alex was in. It was a fun and great experience scaring the hell out of people, I loved it. We wrapped the night up around 1 am, and I started chilling with people and friendly meowing. The guy named Frank gave me a Midnight Syndicate poster that we put up earlier and I was in love with. It was too great. I went home with Brandi, Brandon, her cousin and stuff, and we passed out in her living room. I woke up around 9 ish and headed home to shower real quick, because the make up they used was a bitch to get off. Then it was back to the boat.
My second day working there wasn’t so dandy.
They started the face painting stuff, and I got stuck face painting by myself. I wasn’t too fond of it, since I don’t have that much artistic talent, but I got through it. What really pissed me off, was these fucking bitches named Carrie and Casey, who lounged around on the boat and did fucking nothing while I was outside in the sun getting baked and having little kids asking me if I can paint brown unicorns with pink manes and a golden horn. I could’ve wrung their fucking necks. I was pissed, sunburnt, and I made sure they knew it. For some reason, Brandi and I stopped talking, for what reason I don’t know, but I went down to the actors room in the boat, found an enthralling costume. It was a no sleeved, tight, black industrial skirt- suit with a plunging neck line, and short, ruffled skirt. This women named Karen did my makeup for the outfit, so I had a completely paled face, with zombie like effects, and blood dripping from my eyes, finished off with black lipstick and my boots. It absolutely made my night. I threw my hair up, and felt this overwhelming need to just find Eric and ravage him. Lol. It was too funny. Brandi was upset because her makeup artist wasn’t there and such, and I was just sitting there, feeling like a monster babe ready to prowl. She eventually got out of her mood, and we started scaring the hell out of grown people, more than last night, and it rocked. Alex wasn’t in the shadow room, it was some 25 yr old guy that was over friendly with us. Brandi would jump out of her big mirror, and the would freak out, slamming up against the wall my mirror was on, which had another mirror behind it, so they thought it was a regular one. At the point, I would lunge out of my mirror, reaching for them and either breathe on the back of their neck, which completely freaked them out, or asked them who wanted to play with Auntie Bloody Mary. Grown men fell to their knees and tried to run out of the mirrors. It got me even more hyped up, and I would run out of my place behind the mirrors and chase them. That’s when that guy would be over-friendly, and wrap his arms around my torso as I chased them into the Shadow room saying ‘Mirror mirror on the wall, who’s the fairest one of all.’ That night was the funnest out of all. And I finally got into character. No acting prepares you for that kind of work, at all. No Dialogue, no character. You just have to go for it yourself. I got a gift for best scares that night, and the guy that supervised our room was proud of me =). Ironically, my gift was Bloody Mary Makeup, and a book from the infamous Hollywood makeup artist, Bloody Mary. I forget her real name, oh well. I just know she did the death scene from the Titanic way back in ‘97 or ‘98. That night was the best of all, and I was a bit sadden to take off my pretty slutty outfit. Once I get into character, as long as it sometimes may take, I prefer to stay that way. I’m not one for monomania in life.
I decided to go home that night, and crashed on the couch till about 10. Still in full makeup. I showered and got ready to March in the parade. The buses didn’t come and get us till around 12, when the parade started, but they didn’t even start yet, so it’s all good. Parade went how it usually went I guess, but I didn’t have Zilka to depend on, which is sad. But I had my Smalls on one end and my loverly Megan next to me, so It was alright. I got done marching and went back to the boat, where I got stuck, face painting, again, why those stupid bitches did nothing. There was poetic justice in the end, cause one got a piece of my mind, she’s sure not to forget, the donkey from the petting zoo shit in the girls hat, and I didn’t tell her (snicker snicker), and then the other found out just how territorial I am. Poor thing. But when I showed up to face paint, Brandi’s mom pulled me away and told me my nephew had been in an accident. Melissa was going downstairs with Xavier because my dad was supposed to have him for the day, and she fell, landing on him. His leg is broken, and his ankle is shattered. I started bawling for my little baby, he’s not even a year old until July 6th, and then I felt even worse for my sister, because I know Melissa is beating herself up for that. He’s fine now, he’s in a soft cast and gets a hard one soon. They’re going to do more x-rays, and because he is so little and he is growing, he will probably not have to have surgery. My poor Lil X-Man and Missa. Funny thing was earlier in the day the scar on my leg started hurting from the car accident, and the date from that wreck is coming up soon. Here I was thinking that because it’s the one year anniversary, that Lil scar is planning to rock my world, and it happened the same time their accident did. Strange Strange world. I went through with work as usual, I had no choice seeing as how they were coming back from Rainbows Hospital and Dianne needed people to do work. I didn’t half to face paint the entire time because of those damn girls, which is the only good thing that came out of it. I helped Kathy run the petting zoo until the Festival was over. Then we sat down and made them carry the heavy shit back on the boat. And let me tell you, it wasn’t even that heavy. The lil Cheerleader Barbie-thing Carrie had the end of one of the gates I was carrying one-armed, and she almost plowed me into another one so I bit off her head for that. At the end of that day, if I was at one end of the boat, she’d be down at the other. Pleased me very much. I went down into the actors room and said goodbye to the guys, got my shirt and gave Frank a big hug, and went to see my sister and baby. A police officer that was a friend of the family passed away earlier this week, and then an old family friends mother.
Kathy stopped at her house for a second, and Brandi had a present for me. It was my pretty little whore dress. I was so enthralled. I luff my little outfit, I can’t wait to put it in action. Teehee. My sister and nephew are fine, thankfully, and I finally got to go home and sleep the world away, yesterday and today.
Eric is going to call me hopefully and stuff since he doesn’t have work. Other than that, Im tending to the bruises on my hips and knees from jumping out of my mirror, and the sunburn for actually being a person who works then dumb broad who flirt with people twice their age. Another good thing, about them, is that they’re not getting paid.
but I am
Smile smile.
I feel like a monstrous babe bitch.
Ciao.
Last Thursday was my Luau. I spent the majority of the day with Megan and Brandi trying to get everything set up. It took maybe three hours to get everything looking great, and it was well worth it. The place looked nice. I went grocery shopping and spent some money to keep the kids full. Bamboo hanging from the trellis, the fire place and the Tiki torches in place, and with the lights gave a very casual scene, abounding in merriment. Rose and Ryan were the first to show up while I was still getting ready in my Hawaiian outfit and such, and Ryan helped make some Kool-Aid. I love that kid so much. Rose and him made the night so very great. With him changing into my clothes and Rose bringing her guitar. It was just a very Mellow and peaceful party. A half an hour or so after it got underway, Rachael showed up. She was my first friend when I moved here, over 10 years, and I haven’t seen her in 6 or 7. I cried like a little kid, it was so good seeing her, she hasn’t changed a bit, and it was too great. I love all the kids who came to it. All my girls are the best, and coming from a girl who absolutely hates females because they’re so two-faced, it means a lot. They would know. Nina, Megan, Sarah, Danielle, Lola, Megan, Rachael, Rose, Erika, Rosalind never let me down. Im not one for a big ring of friends, but with friends like that, there is no downsizing. And the guys are absolutely wonderful. I had a rough start to the party because Eric left and it pissed me off, cause its not like I get to see Mr. boyfriend all the time, so it got upsetting when he did it again. I had my Dano and the other guys to cheer me up. The party lasted until midnight-ish, with me settling things with Eric, and the guys with Rose and I around the fire with her strumming and singing. I took Rachael home in style, lol. I took out the four-wheeler and drove her down the street avoiding cops and stuff. Then the guys left, and Rose sat on the front porch with me, strumming her guitar and belting out lyrics that were all too perfect to the moment. I can’t even remember it now, and I don’t even know if she can, it was made up on the spot, and it summed up everything in a nut shell. Brought a tear to my eye, and the neighbors and my dad outside to listen to her. I’m not one to be oh so mushy about things, but the night was one of the best I’ve had in a while. The neighbor kid from West Virginia came out and helped me clean up after the party like a sweetheart, and it was done around 2 ish. Record time, I’m glad I didn’t crash and wait to clean up in the morning cause it rained that night. I think I’ll throw one or two before the end up this summer, because even though I had maybe 40+, it was a peaceful thing. And the rents haven’t said anything about it, lasting so long and such. They’re old fashioned, a bit, and were a bit shocked I had boys there, but were cool about it. I found something in the “wholesome’s” I didn’t find anywhere else with the bullshit fakers out there. And I like it. Maybe I shouldn’t of labeled them as early as I did before in the year. It some ways it fits, in many it doesn’t. But what the hell, we’re still kids, still learning about this world, and still growing up. A little too fast for my taste, but that’s the way it must go, I suppose. I’ve never been really fond of what I started to become, but somewhere between the stealing time to reinvent, I stayed in the limbo of things, and even if I’m not too sure where, what it is and where its taking me, Limbo hasn’t been all to bad to me. These eyes aren’t anyone else eyes, and not the color their arid eyes might be. It suits me just fine.
I woke up and had to go to a practice for the International, which was a bore, and left me so tired and sore. I was supposed to start work at 12:00, but luckily Brandi called me and told me the work on the boat didn’t start until 6, so we were going to show up around 4 o’clock. Let me explain what I got myself into first. I went over Brandi’s a couple a days earlier, and answered her phone, acting like a secretary and just goofing off. I handed the phone to her and then her mother, and the women whom I was talking to offered me a job working down at the International ( The International Festival is a big get together in our community where we celebrate all of our cultural diversities since this City is the ‘International City’, or something rather. Just think tons of people down by a river with food from just about every culture you could think of, Princesses from those Cultures and a Parade. Woo.). Brandi and I were supposed to either run a Moon Bounce, Petting Zoo, or face painting. And when night fell, we were going to be working on a two-hundred ft. boat called the STE. Claire. It was transformed into a haunted house thing around October last year, and They were having a ‘Shiver on the Black River’ haunted boat house, a sort of encore to what happened earlier in the fall. We got there around 4 and helped out on the boat, and I was introduce to some great guys. I don’t know exactly what they all did, but Im assuming Frank had the Run of the haunted boat, since he was the head honcho figure the entire time. I met tons of people but I was only friendly when I was transformed in my costume and make-up. We worked a sectioned known as the mirrors, the was next to a section called the shadow room, which Brandi’s friend thing Alex was in. It was a fun and great experience scaring the hell out of people, I loved it. We wrapped the night up around 1 am, and I started chilling with people and friendly meowing. The guy named Frank gave me a Midnight Syndicate poster that we put up earlier and I was in love with. It was too great. I went home with Brandi, Brandon, her cousin and stuff, and we passed out in her living room. I woke up around 9 ish and headed home to shower real quick, because the make up they used was a bitch to get off. Then it was back to the boat.
My second day working there wasn’t so dandy.
They started the face painting stuff, and I got stuck face painting by myself. I wasn’t too fond of it, since I don’t have that much artistic talent, but I got through it. What really pissed me off, was these fucking bitches named Carrie and Casey, who lounged around on the boat and did fucking nothing while I was outside in the sun getting baked and having little kids asking me if I can paint brown unicorns with pink manes and a golden horn. I could’ve wrung their fucking necks. I was pissed, sunburnt, and I made sure they knew it. For some reason, Brandi and I stopped talking, for what reason I don’t know, but I went down to the actors room in the boat, found an enthralling costume. It was a no sleeved, tight, black industrial skirt- suit with a plunging neck line, and short, ruffled skirt. This women named Karen did my makeup for the outfit, so I had a completely paled face, with zombie like effects, and blood dripping from my eyes, finished off with black lipstick and my boots. It absolutely made my night. I threw my hair up, and felt this overwhelming need to just find Eric and ravage him. Lol. It was too funny. Brandi was upset because her makeup artist wasn’t there and such, and I was just sitting there, feeling like a monster babe ready to prowl. She eventually got out of her mood, and we started scaring the hell out of grown people, more than last night, and it rocked. Alex wasn’t in the shadow room, it was some 25 yr old guy that was over friendly with us. Brandi would jump out of her big mirror, and the would freak out, slamming up against the wall my mirror was on, which had another mirror behind it, so they thought it was a regular one. At the point, I would lunge out of my mirror, reaching for them and either breathe on the back of their neck, which completely freaked them out, or asked them who wanted to play with Auntie Bloody Mary. Grown men fell to their knees and tried to run out of the mirrors. It got me even more hyped up, and I would run out of my place behind the mirrors and chase them. That’s when that guy would be over-friendly, and wrap his arms around my torso as I chased them into the Shadow room saying ‘Mirror mirror on the wall, who’s the fairest one of all.’ That night was the funnest out of all. And I finally got into character. No acting prepares you for that kind of work, at all. No Dialogue, no character. You just have to go for it yourself. I got a gift for best scares that night, and the guy that supervised our room was proud of me =). Ironically, my gift was Bloody Mary Makeup, and a book from the infamous Hollywood makeup artist, Bloody Mary. I forget her real name, oh well. I just know she did the death scene from the Titanic way back in ‘97 or ‘98. That night was the best of all, and I was a bit sadden to take off my pretty slutty outfit. Once I get into character, as long as it sometimes may take, I prefer to stay that way. I’m not one for monomania in life.
I decided to go home that night, and crashed on the couch till about 10. Still in full makeup. I showered and got ready to March in the parade. The buses didn’t come and get us till around 12, when the parade started, but they didn’t even start yet, so it’s all good. Parade went how it usually went I guess, but I didn’t have Zilka to depend on, which is sad. But I had my Smalls on one end and my loverly Megan next to me, so It was alright. I got done marching and went back to the boat, where I got stuck, face painting, again, why those stupid bitches did nothing. There was poetic justice in the end, cause one got a piece of my mind, she’s sure not to forget, the donkey from the petting zoo shit in the girls hat, and I didn’t tell her (snicker snicker), and then the other found out just how territorial I am. Poor thing. But when I showed up to face paint, Brandi’s mom pulled me away and told me my nephew had been in an accident. Melissa was going downstairs with Xavier because my dad was supposed to have him for the day, and she fell, landing on him. His leg is broken, and his ankle is shattered. I started bawling for my little baby, he’s not even a year old until July 6th, and then I felt even worse for my sister, because I know Melissa is beating herself up for that. He’s fine now, he’s in a soft cast and gets a hard one soon. They’re going to do more x-rays, and because he is so little and he is growing, he will probably not have to have surgery. My poor Lil X-Man and Missa. Funny thing was earlier in the day the scar on my leg started hurting from the car accident, and the date from that wreck is coming up soon. Here I was thinking that because it’s the one year anniversary, that Lil scar is planning to rock my world, and it happened the same time their accident did. Strange Strange world. I went through with work as usual, I had no choice seeing as how they were coming back from Rainbows Hospital and Dianne needed people to do work. I didn’t half to face paint the entire time because of those damn girls, which is the only good thing that came out of it. I helped Kathy run the petting zoo until the Festival was over. Then we sat down and made them carry the heavy shit back on the boat. And let me tell you, it wasn’t even that heavy. The lil Cheerleader Barbie-thing Carrie had the end of one of the gates I was carrying one-armed, and she almost plowed me into another one so I bit off her head for that. At the end of that day, if I was at one end of the boat, she’d be down at the other. Pleased me very much. I went down into the actors room and said goodbye to the guys, got my shirt and gave Frank a big hug, and went to see my sister and baby. A police officer that was a friend of the family passed away earlier this week, and then an old family friends mother.
Kathy stopped at her house for a second, and Brandi had a present for me. It was my pretty little whore dress. I was so enthralled. I luff my little outfit, I can’t wait to put it in action. Teehee. My sister and nephew are fine, thankfully, and I finally got to go home and sleep the world away, yesterday and today.
Eric is going to call me hopefully and stuff since he doesn’t have work. Other than that, Im tending to the bruises on my hips and knees from jumping out of my mirror, and the sunburn for actually being a person who works then dumb broad who flirt with people twice their age. Another good thing, about them, is that they’re not getting paid.
but I am
Smile smile.
I feel like a monstrous babe bitch.
Ciao.