No Tears
Title: No Tears
Fandom: Backstreet Boys
Characters: Nick/AJ/Howie
Prompt: #87 - Life
Word Count: 424
Rating: PG
Author's Notes: I used word #150 from 15minuteficlets to get started on this. Head on over to the community to see what the word was!
Nick Carter closed his eyes and let himself fall down backwards on his bed. He bounced for a few seconds, before his body stilled. His hand tightened slightly around the note in his hand, as a single tear tried to escape from his left eye.
In the distance he could hear his cell phone ringing, but ignoring it was easy. He wanted to escape everything that was around him, wanted to go somewhere else for a while. To a place where there was no emotion, no sorrow or joy. To a place where he could just be; exist in silence without having to think or feel, move or touch.
He wanted to be in a place where he simply was, but was not. Where no one expected him to say anything, to tell them what he was feeling or how he was doing. Talking was the last thing he wanted to do.
His only love in this life had left him, and even though he loved his friends with all his heart, he couldn’t face them right now. He didn’t want to pick up the phone that was still ringing and talk to Howie about how he felt. He didn’t want to say “I’m all right”, or talk about how not all right he was.
He didn’t want to talk about how he screwed up, about how he should have listened to his lover instead of ignoring him. He didn’t want to talk about how his love for parties and late nights had pushed his Alex away. He didn’t want to talk about how it was his entire fault, and how if he had only opened his eyes earlier, he would be lying in his lovers arms right now, instead of being completely alone.
He didn’t want to talk about how it felt to come home one early morning to find an unexpected note lying on the table, and all of his lovers’ clothes and things gone. How it felt when reality sat in, and he realized that Alex had really left him, and that if he hadn’t been so blind he would have seen this coming.
He just wanted people to leave him alone for a while, didn’t want anyone around reminding him that the only person he had ever loved had left him, and if he hadn’t been such an idiot, he could have stopped him.
He didn’t want people to tell him they were sorry, and remind him that now he was alone.
And that he had only himself to blame.
Fandom: Backstreet Boys
Characters: Nick/AJ/Howie
Prompt: #87 - Life
Word Count: 424
Rating: PG
Author's Notes: I used word #150 from 15minuteficlets to get started on this. Head on over to the community to see what the word was!
Nick Carter closed his eyes and let himself fall down backwards on his bed. He bounced for a few seconds, before his body stilled. His hand tightened slightly around the note in his hand, as a single tear tried to escape from his left eye.
In the distance he could hear his cell phone ringing, but ignoring it was easy. He wanted to escape everything that was around him, wanted to go somewhere else for a while. To a place where there was no emotion, no sorrow or joy. To a place where he could just be; exist in silence without having to think or feel, move or touch.
He wanted to be in a place where he simply was, but was not. Where no one expected him to say anything, to tell them what he was feeling or how he was doing. Talking was the last thing he wanted to do.
His only love in this life had left him, and even though he loved his friends with all his heart, he couldn’t face them right now. He didn’t want to pick up the phone that was still ringing and talk to Howie about how he felt. He didn’t want to say “I’m all right”, or talk about how not all right he was.
He didn’t want to talk about how he screwed up, about how he should have listened to his lover instead of ignoring him. He didn’t want to talk about how his love for parties and late nights had pushed his Alex away. He didn’t want to talk about how it was his entire fault, and how if he had only opened his eyes earlier, he would be lying in his lovers arms right now, instead of being completely alone.
He didn’t want to talk about how it felt to come home one early morning to find an unexpected note lying on the table, and all of his lovers’ clothes and things gone. How it felt when reality sat in, and he realized that Alex had really left him, and that if he hadn’t been so blind he would have seen this coming.
He just wanted people to leave him alone for a while, didn’t want anyone around reminding him that the only person he had ever loved had left him, and if he hadn’t been such an idiot, he could have stopped him.
He didn’t want people to tell him they were sorry, and remind him that now he was alone.
And that he had only himself to blame.