Hearts Desire
Think about something you once wanted so badly but never acquired. Write about how you think your life would’ve been different if you had received what your heart desired.
That’s simple and simply painful to think about. There’s never been something I’ve wanted as badly as I did Claire. No, she’s not a something but she’s definitely someone. As much as I tried to deny it or keep myself from feeling anyway towards her other then friendship. It’s just another thing in life I failed at because I fell in love with her, I fell in love with a straight friend of mine.
No amount of angry words could change the fact of what happened that night between us, not even getting totally fucked out of my mind on some drug Anita brought me could get Claire out of my mind.
If things had gone well that night with us, I don’t know where we’d be to be honest. I know I wouldn’t have gone up there on open mic night and talk about her like that, it’s one of the few hidden regrets I have to this day. Writing it was one thing, spilling it in front of everyone was another, people knew who it was I was talking about. My feelings for Claire were always as apparent to everyone - but her it seems - as the nose on my face. Those were her friends I stood in front of, not mine, but hers.
I’ve thought about how a perfect utopian world Claire and I would live in if she’d felt at least half of what I felt for her. It always seemed so fake and built but it didn’t matter, we’d spend our days at school, sitting in the back and griping about how full of bullshit the teacher was as we half paid attention. We would always be too busy to pay attention because we’d have some new crazy art project planned - but nothing would be as crazy as the mall idea that never was.
After classes we’d be in some studio painting or sculpting. I’d curl up in a chair and draw her while she worked, unless we were brainstorming some more. We seemed to inspire each other; we fed each other’s muses like oxygen and craved more.
Our nights would be spent on some rooftop getting high and maybe taking buckets of paint and just dipping our hands in, letting whatever we felt flow out onto the roll of canvas that was laid out.
In our little utopian home there’s a stretch of canvas hanging on the wall - her mother loves it and speaks about it every time she comes by - and it was painted the first night we went up on the roof. I can still feel how the mixture of her touch, the paint and the canvas felt as we moved on it.
If I had received what my heart desired then I wouldn’t have lost part of my inspiration.
Character: Edie
Fandom: Six Feet Under
Word Count: 467
That’s simple and simply painful to think about. There’s never been something I’ve wanted as badly as I did Claire. No, she’s not a something but she’s definitely someone. As much as I tried to deny it or keep myself from feeling anyway towards her other then friendship. It’s just another thing in life I failed at because I fell in love with her, I fell in love with a straight friend of mine.
No amount of angry words could change the fact of what happened that night between us, not even getting totally fucked out of my mind on some drug Anita brought me could get Claire out of my mind.
If things had gone well that night with us, I don’t know where we’d be to be honest. I know I wouldn’t have gone up there on open mic night and talk about her like that, it’s one of the few hidden regrets I have to this day. Writing it was one thing, spilling it in front of everyone was another, people knew who it was I was talking about. My feelings for Claire were always as apparent to everyone - but her it seems - as the nose on my face. Those were her friends I stood in front of, not mine, but hers.
I’ve thought about how a perfect utopian world Claire and I would live in if she’d felt at least half of what I felt for her. It always seemed so fake and built but it didn’t matter, we’d spend our days at school, sitting in the back and griping about how full of bullshit the teacher was as we half paid attention. We would always be too busy to pay attention because we’d have some new crazy art project planned - but nothing would be as crazy as the mall idea that never was.
After classes we’d be in some studio painting or sculpting. I’d curl up in a chair and draw her while she worked, unless we were brainstorming some more. We seemed to inspire each other; we fed each other’s muses like oxygen and craved more.
Our nights would be spent on some rooftop getting high and maybe taking buckets of paint and just dipping our hands in, letting whatever we felt flow out onto the roll of canvas that was laid out.
In our little utopian home there’s a stretch of canvas hanging on the wall - her mother loves it and speaks about it every time she comes by - and it was painted the first night we went up on the roof. I can still feel how the mixture of her touch, the paint and the canvas felt as we moved on it.
If I had received what my heart desired then I wouldn’t have lost part of my inspiration.
Character: Edie
Fandom: Six Feet Under
Word Count: 467