(no subject)
boys.
I always had bad luck with boys.
And then I met a very special one and dedicated 2 years of my life to him. He taught me how to love, and let someone love me completely. He molded my idea of relationships, and what they should be. He'll always be the first, and a part of me will always be with him. The actual relationship ended because I was selfish, and way too young to be so commited. I wasn't nice, I didn't handle any of it the way I should have. Do i think we should still be together? Probably not. But there are many things I would change about us if I could. There's no doubt in my mind I would be the same person I am now if we never had what we had.
After that, there were many boys. They came and went by the week, and I liked it that way. Some of them were good for me, some were not. The majority of them wanted more of me then I could give, I didn't get attached to any one of them. I stayed 'single', but in out of various pointless relationships for almost a year. I hurt a lot of feelings, and remained blantantly unattached. No one could get to me. And then there was a boy who I took to so quickly it scared me, but i went for it. Things were unbelievable in the beginning, I decided to let my guard down, we made it official. He'd tell me he loved me all the time, and everywhere. In the car, at the movies, while i was falling asleep. He'd smile and kiss me whenever i wasn't expecting it. It seemed perfect when we stayed up all night laying in bed. But, hardly knowing each other. And I didn't know him, and he did exactly what I expected him to. I gave him a second chance, and let my guard down even more. It was so hard to hear him tell me he loved me, because I couldn't believe a word he said. I ended it, for the second time. It all ended with no resolution, and at this point..i don't want one.
I just want to find something clean and new. I want to meet a boy whose with me for all the right reasons, and nothing less.
I always had bad luck with boys.
And then I met a very special one and dedicated 2 years of my life to him. He taught me how to love, and let someone love me completely. He molded my idea of relationships, and what they should be. He'll always be the first, and a part of me will always be with him. The actual relationship ended because I was selfish, and way too young to be so commited. I wasn't nice, I didn't handle any of it the way I should have. Do i think we should still be together? Probably not. But there are many things I would change about us if I could. There's no doubt in my mind I would be the same person I am now if we never had what we had.
After that, there were many boys. They came and went by the week, and I liked it that way. Some of them were good for me, some were not. The majority of them wanted more of me then I could give, I didn't get attached to any one of them. I stayed 'single', but in out of various pointless relationships for almost a year. I hurt a lot of feelings, and remained blantantly unattached. No one could get to me. And then there was a boy who I took to so quickly it scared me, but i went for it. Things were unbelievable in the beginning, I decided to let my guard down, we made it official. He'd tell me he loved me all the time, and everywhere. In the car, at the movies, while i was falling asleep. He'd smile and kiss me whenever i wasn't expecting it. It seemed perfect when we stayed up all night laying in bed. But, hardly knowing each other. And I didn't know him, and he did exactly what I expected him to. I gave him a second chance, and let my guard down even more. It was so hard to hear him tell me he loved me, because I couldn't believe a word he said. I ended it, for the second time. It all ended with no resolution, and at this point..i don't want one.
I just want to find something clean and new. I want to meet a boy whose with me for all the right reasons, and nothing less.