(no subject)
I love when we hold hands in the car.
I love when we kiss at a stop sign,
or at a red light. You tap on your
lips as a signal for me to kiss you.
I love when my stomach hurts because
of my period, you rub it. And the
same goes for my boobs, and you act
like you dont like it, but are doing
it for me. haha.
I love when I lay on your chest &
it seems that my head fits PERFECTLY
in the crevice of your arms.
I love that Im so much shorter than
you that I have to stand on my tippy
toes in order to kiss you, and you
have to still bend down. dammit.
I love that we both love Wendy's,
and you didnt let me pay the other
day for myself, even though it was
only a dollar. It was cute.
I love it that you love your hair
so much. Its annoying at times,
let me tell you, but you dont let
me stop you from doing something.
I love your family, holy CRAP.
Sunday dinner's used to be heaven.
Your grandfather KILLS me, and
your brothers never let a single
moment be dull.
I love that your family used to
think that when we were together
we wouldnt talk at all, and we
saved talking for the phone. hahaha.
I love that your mom gave up at
the end of the summer trying to
not let us hang out when nobody
was home. We knew she'd give in!
I love that your dad makes jokes
about us having sex to you, and
then its wicked awkward when I
would go over. oh GOSH.
I love that you make fun of me
for things when we're with people,
and then apologize when we're alone.
hahaha. You always apologize. Its cute.
I love that when we lay together
on my bed after school, you'll
fall asleep in .5 seconds, while
Im staring at my walls bored as
hell. But youre so cute when you
sleep that I deal with it. :)
I love how when I used to cheer,
you'd pay 2 dollars to see the
end of the game, just so we could
hang out after. Those nights
were so good. Mm, Fridays.
I love how Im so comfortable
around you, that I will change
& not care. Its cute that you
tell me Im not fat, even though
I know I am.
I love that we could never make
it through a whole movie without
A)Falling asleep, or B)Making out.
Hahaha, I never did see a whole
movie with you..inless we were in
a theatre, or with people. So cute.
I love it when you kiss me on
my forhead, especially when I
am upset or dont feel good.
I love it when you wear something
that I like, just because I like it.
I love ganging up on you with
your mom, because its so funny
to get you going on things.
I love that you always want me to
cut my hair so its short like it
was when it was "50's style". We
now have come to an every day usage
of the word "50's" and know exactly
what we're talking about.
I love that you hate watching
Dawsons Creek DVD's, but would
watch them with me anyways.
I gave you your turn to watch
your show after (sometimes).
I love that you would get mad
at me when we were on the phone
because I was on the computer.
You'd get so mad when I wasnt
paying full attention to you.
I love when you're really
intense about a subject,
and I can see that you really
care about it. You get so
mad when I dont agree, haha.
but that's what made us
interesting.
I love that you try to be
such a fashionable boy, &
tell me what to wear.
I love that everynight when
I would ask you "What should
I wear tomorrow?" you'd say
"Nothing." It was routine.
Every single day you' say it.
hahaha.
I love your puppy dog eyes
when you want something. They're
adorable. You know I always
give into you when you give
me them. :)
I love it when you let me take
the wheel when you would drive.
Id feel so tough, holy crap!
I love that you enjoy poker so
much, because I love it when
you like anything, even though
it may sometimes hurt me.
I love that you used to want
me to send you pictures that
I'd take that day, or something.
You would tell me what your
favorite pictures were of me,
and Id be happy ;):)
I love that we played the same
game the whole vacation.. Egyptian
War? Yeah, that was it. Such a
good game, and youd get so mad
at me when I won! HAHA.
I love when we refer to your
"old couch" and know exactly
what we're talking about ;).
Mm, I loved that couch.
I love when you tell me Im wrong.
I know that you're telling
me the truth, and give me
good advice about things. I
hate that you're always right,
though. Especially about friends.
I love that I still wear the
bracelet that you gave me
every single day. And every time
I feel like crying, I squeeze it
and it reminds me that you were
the best thing that ever happened
to me.
I hate that you won't give me
another chance right now. I
hate that every time I see you
in school I want to cry, because
you look so happy. I pretend to
be happy, too.
I hate how my bed still smells
like you just from you laying
on it for an hour.
I hate that everynight when I lay
down all I can think of is lying
in your arms & "spooning" with you,
and you keeping me warm.
I hate that you dont understand how badly
I love you. How much I want to be
with you.
I hate that your mom thinks or
thought that we were going back
out when we werent. It makes me
sad, because she doesnt know the
truth.
I hate that I used to doubt whether
I loved you or not. I wish I could
take that whole time period away,
because I loved you all along. I
was only scared that I would become
too attatched, and THIS would happen.
I hate that it's been 2 months since
we broke up, but I am still hanging
onto you. I hate that I cant leave you
alone, and that I cant call you before
I go to sleep.
I hate that you dont tell me that you
love me every day, and you dont call
me just to tell me it.
I hate that you're so strong, and
dont give into me like I would most
likely give into you. I hate that
you know what is right for you, but
I cant figure out what is right for
myself.
But most of all, I hate myself for
putting you through anything I have
ever put you through, because, you,
Shawn, dont deserve it. You dont
deserve any of this. I dont either.