in the last three weeks i have lost two pants sizes, something in the range of 10 pounds, and two fat fistfuls of hair. i love the feel of scissors in my hand, that solid schink sound of them cutting through hair. i love the ticklish itchy feeling of it landing in whisper-light chunks on my back and bare shoulders.

i have taken to bikerides at ( Read more... )

cold dark streets whirring beneath me, ani whispering quietly in my ear, mingling with the midnight wind ( Read more... )

cap and gown
pomp and circumstance
my father, my mother, and me.

today i went for a long walk with michelle between rainstorms. we stopped at the grocery store, and then for coffee. we sat outside and alternately frowned and grinned at the horoscopes as raindrops speckled the papers in front of us ( Read more... )

on tuesday afternoon i went to acupuncture before ben came over, before it all was spelled out in letters, in words, in these strung together phrases that ring and ring, burrow deeper and deeper. my practitioner natasha put needles in my chest, because oh my heart, oh my heavy heavy heart. the one on the left side itched when she took it out, and ( Read more... )

last night as we are falling asleep he says over and over again thank you for being so great, thank you for being so great.

today a soft wind and grey and quiet.

my first day back at work since i left sick a week ago, and my what a week. i've been rereading old entries here, rethinking old thoughts. i find myself sorting and processing. so much. so much. i went to a wedding of someone i used to be close friends with yesterday. the ceremony looked nothing like the woman i knew, the groom a man i've met only ( Read more... )

we gather in the back, champagne, and to us, to us. it is hard to believe this day has come ( Read more... )

true value paint is apparently the most horrendously shitty paint one can buy. how do i know this, and why do i care, you ask? because it is turning into a royal nightmare. i bought 3 gallons of paint for the gallery walls and turns out each is a slightly different shade, streaky, and not opaque. 3 coats later, tenting the already installed ( Read more... )

so i can't quite believe it. my thesis is done. hottest days of the year, paint fumes, laser levels, heads tilting from right to left to make sure things are just so, precarious situations with ladders, sweat sweat sweat, lovely folks helping, and two nine and a half hour days later, every last piece is hung. there has been some issue with painting ( Read more... )