(no subject)
so im here listening to Arron Michael.
and, his music just makes you think back.
i know i did.
i think because, it's the kind of stuff i used to listen to when i would have these amazing friends that i could do anything with, i could sleep over.
i could talk openly.
and all you had to worry about was what call you had to make next.
i used to be a great person.
i used to have a ton of friends.
i used to have someone to walk me home and back,
even though it was late at night.
i used to have someone to share all my time with.
to make memories with.
to sleep with.
to talk with.
i used to be such a fun and outgoing girl.
i used to not worry about so much.
i used to live in the moment, since that's all that mattered.
but look at me now.
worried about how i need to look for my next interview.
worried about how my personality will reflect on others.
thinking about the worst in things rather the positive. though i fooled you to think im always positive.
thinking that, this is my last shot at my future.
nailing every grade i get to the post,
so i can see what i did wrong, and what i can do to improve.
I'm by myself now.
with the exception of 3 friends.
my brother is moving away for college.
and that makes me think about college.
one year away.
one year till i leave everything behind.
one year of innocence left.
one year to get GREAT grades.
one year to really find who i am.
and who i need to be.
once you think you have everything, the one you think you can be with forever, the friends you'll always have, can dissapear with one acceptance letter.
you can say "we'll be best friends forever no matter what"
but in all truth, we wont.
because we're in seperate places.
meeting new people.
meeting new best friends.
and then these letters, and the "keep in touch" system
just seems to become a little less constant.
i never want to become distant from the friends ive made this year.
that's right,
all 3 of them.
because they were the greatest 3 ive ever met.
i just hope, a funeral wont be the only way we come back in contact with each other.
cause then we'll have one less then we'd ever thought we have.
i dont know.
it's just a late night ramble.
im going to bed.