there's something missing this semester. i can't pinpoint what it is, but i care about little things so much more and i can't bring myself to drink and fuck and smoke and dance and talk and anything to the point of excess except work and worry and procrastinate and scare myself. and think about the future, alternating hiding-under-the-covers fear ( Read more... )

have you ever hated where you live ( Read more... )

these past few weeks have been a void that's opened up in my life, stealing away every feeling except for exhaustion and panic, interspersed with being overwhelmed by all that's around and ahead, weakening my immune system to the point of antibiotics and vicadin... it's been really hard to put anything on paper lately that hasn't been a "to do" ( Read more... )

it's eight o'clock in the morning on the tuesday after christmas ( Read more... )

i think this winter break needs to be me curled up in a dark cocoon, forgetting about tucson, after apologizing to all of the people out there that i have fucked over this past semester ( Read more... )

To steal from my good friend Jeffrey ( Read more... )

just a quick update, getting my fingers used to these keyboards at the library that i had to wait ten minutes to use ( Read more... )

my body is tired, my mind is tired. i have a headache, i'm shaky, i feel so hungover but i didn't drink last night. i'm so done with school, with papers, with reading. i am done with drama, with boys, with situations that leave me feeling confused and helpless. i know what i want, i know exactly what i want, but i have to wait six months. and then ( Read more... )

i am at that stage where i drink glass after glass of champagne, telling my bullshit story of what i am doing after graduation over and over again until the uncertainty actually seems like truth. i am in between the adults and the high school cousins, about to graduate but not yet in the real world, still seen as a kid but gone for a year - a ( Read more... )

volatile ( Read more... )