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On how it has come to be.
I woke up yesterday, soundlessly. Aria stretched her paws towards my face, eyes closed, low purrs: she was content. I was aware that we had re-arranged our bodies in the same queen-size bed throughout the night, careful not to touch, careful to avoid ( Read more... ) -
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For my birthday, I'd like a 'doesn't-give-a-shit' machine so that I don't care about anything ever.
I just want to be cold and unfeeling.
Especially on my birthday. -
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Despite how you may feel in the beginning, those magic moments never seem to last. -
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I drove home a jumbled mix of emotions. Thick tears obscured my vision and I kept asking myself the same question over and over: am I selfish for expecting him to want to see me or is he selfish for disregarding my feelings and leaving ( Read more... ) -
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For a long, long time, I've been afraid of being alone. I'm not sure where this fear and anxiety originates, but being left to my own devices is not a welcome surprise for me and never has been. I don't like not having someone to talk to, not having a physical presence in close proximity and simply existing in my own skin ( Read more... ) -
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Somehow it's always easier to find a fault, to unravel a thread, to complain to a friend than it is to be thankful, grateful, and appreciative. It seems easier for people to find the negative instead of the positive.
Today I am thankful that I am happy, healthy and alive. I am thankful that I am young and I can make good decisions and my whole ( Read more... ) -
On dis-par-ate (des-par-ate) thoughts.
I want independence. I want to curl up in a comfortable chair and read books for hours on end. I want to experiment with new recipes all by my lonesome and dip my fingers into the sauce to sample. I want to play with my kitten for hours on end, talk to old friends long into the night and search the Internet with abandon ( Read more... ) -
On self-assessment.
At one time, everything fell into place with ease. It was natural and unforced, unassuming and authentic. Now we find ourselves arguing long into the evenings and sometimes into the nights, assigning a value to our relationship, ranking it out of ten ( Read more... ) -
On small moments --
A royal hypocrite, you'll say, when you hear what I'm about to say next. Because, despite the rhythm and the rituals, moments still exist.
Moments when frisbees are sailing through the air and he calls my name as I'm darting down a wet, grassy field and I turn as the word is tumbling from his lips, my arm stretches and the smooth familiar plastic ( Read more... ) -
On being part of Something
Everything is just so predictably unsatisfying, you know? I have this comfortable routine that I'm expected to follow during the week (work, make dinner, a) go to gym or b) play ultimate or c) watch movies or d) socialize with someone or e) enjoy downtime with sig other) and it happens every day, over and over, rinse-repeat style. I have to ( Read more... )