I don't want to talk to you. You knew, Pansy. You knew what would happen. I told you I never wanted to talk to him again, and goddamn it, I meant it. And now... And now everything's fucked up again and I know, I know it's my fault for going into that room, but it's your fault I was at the fucking party at all. I didn't want to go, do you remember me telling you that? I didn't want to go. But I went for you, because you said that it was 'the last party at Hogwarts ever, don't you want to be a part of that?' and I had to.
Please, just...you don't even have to read this today. Just know that it's here, and that you can read it whenever you want to. You can even delete it. I don't care. I just need to say this.
It wasn't your fault to go to the party. It wasn't your fault that--that he started talking to you and it wasn't your fault that you followed him because you couldn't have not followed him, and you know it. And that's not your fault either, no matter which way you look at it. It's my fault. For making you go. And making him talk to you. And because I did that, all this--yeah, okay. Everything's fucked up again
( ... )
Goddamn it, I was ready to leave this, leave it until tomorrow, but you just had to go off like that, you just had to, didn't you? Fuck, Pansy.
I was fine with being alone. I was fine with missing Daniel and not talking to Potter and not making my life shite. It was so safe. If I'm alone, I can't get hurt, and I can't hurt someone else, and everything's just better.
...I'm so fucking sick of this, I'm so fucking sick of feeling like this, feeling like the biggest shit, just feeling. I'm tired. I just want to go to sleep and wake up and have everything back to the way it used to be, or maybe just not wake up. Just...sleep.
I can't...I can't forgive you for doing this yet. I'm so angry with you. But I can't not talk to you. I can't not be with you.
Please come up here and hold me so I can finally fall asleep.
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No. Not now, anyway.
Twice, Draco. You had to ruin my life twice.
When I cool down a bit, we'll talk, alright? I just can't do it right now...
Or maybe that's what I really need? I don't know.
I'll be in that corridor with the little window alcove on the second floor, past Flitwick's office.
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I know.
Thank you.
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Do you want to yell kill eat my innards talk to me, too? Or would you just...rather not look at me right now?
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I don't want to talk to you. You knew, Pansy. You knew what would happen. I told you I never wanted to talk to him again, and goddamn it, I meant it. And now... And now everything's fucked up again and I know, I know it's my fault for going into that room, but it's your fault I was at the fucking party at all. I didn't want to go, do you remember me telling you that? I didn't want to go. But I went for you, because you said that it was 'the last party at Hogwarts ever, don't you want to be a part of that?' and I had to.
I love you, Pansy, but you...
I can't talk to you yet. Maybe tomorrow.
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Fine. We just--okay.
Please, just...you don't even have to read this today. Just know that it's here, and that you can read it whenever you want to. You can even delete it. I don't care. I just need to say this.
It wasn't your fault to go to the party. It wasn't your fault that--that he started talking to you and it wasn't your fault that you followed him because you couldn't have not followed him, and you know it. And that's not your fault either, no matter which way you look at it. It's my fault. For making you go. And making him talk to you. And because I did that, all this--yeah, okay. Everything's fucked up again ( ... )
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Goddamn it, I was ready to leave this, leave it until tomorrow, but you just had to go off like that, you just had to, didn't you? Fuck, Pansy.
I was fine with being alone. I was fine with missing Daniel and not talking to Potter and not making my life shite. It was so safe. If I'm alone, I can't get hurt, and I can't hurt someone else, and everything's just better.
...I'm so fucking sick of this, I'm so fucking sick of feeling like this, feeling like the biggest shit, just feeling. I'm tired. I just want to go to sleep and wake up and have everything back to the way it used to be, or maybe just not wake up. Just...sleep.
I can't...I can't forgive you for doing this yet. I'm so angry with you. But I can't not talk to you. I can't not be with you.
Please come up here and hold me so I can finally fall asleep.
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