just for me
Everything's so different, everything feels so different to me. People are different, places are different, everything just FEELS so different. Sunlight, and the wind, and the coldness, it's not just that; it's something that she'll never feel again. The quirky, sassy-Ashley, she's actually gone.
No one asks me about it, and in a way I'm glad, because in a way, I only want to share that either with my best friend, or Jesse. I think I need to talk about it sometimes, though.
I'm never going to be the same, I almost feel cynical towards everything and everyone, just because I hear about people talking about how their friends suck, or how their family's being a bitch, or how they're signifacent other is being a dick or a bitch, whatever it may be. It pisses me off, because it's like, try having you're sister taken away from you before you even know her. Try having your sister's body being in a perfume bottle, waiting for you to retrieve it in Florida. Try having the visual of your father crying over his dead daughter playing in your head everyday. Try having the last memory of her being the worst situation you can imagine; try remembering the last thing you said was "I hate you". Try having her not talk to you after that. Try not talking to her for 3 months and her saying she'll call you when she's able to. Try having your sister die 3 days after that. Try having that last memory being in your head for the rest of your life. Try having that image of your sister laying in a coffin with a cross through her hands, being so cold that it literally makes you shake when you touch her forehead. Try having not one fucking person understand how it feels to have your family fucking blown apart, then start complaining.
Everything is shit, and not one person can relate to me. Sit back and enjoy your lives.