It's pretty amazing that I have someone that I've been crazy about for the better part of a year. I love him alot. I feel so lucky that it finally worked out; that he felt the same way about me, and wanted to make this work. The only bad part is that I'll have to be patient when I can't see him. I know its going to be really tough; I am not a ( Read more... )

one more thing...

why are so many people... why am I tempted to play games?

You always have to find your way out of the woods, regardless of if they are good or bad. It can be either wonderful or scary to get lost in something completely unfamiliar for a change, but you can't allow yourself to set up camp there for too long. It's never a good idea to get seduced by perfection, or by the endlessness and unfamiliarity of the ( Read more... )

I took the jump, and look what it got me. perfection. I am overflowing entirely.

how did he feel the same way the whole time? with me just being me. no games. for the first time, being true to myself got me somewhere. I'm beginning to like this. Missing him after two days apart. I'm kind of at a loss.

I'll be back soon.

This time, I have a parachute. I am still free falling. I am still terrified, but not of the inevitable impact with the ground; helplessly thrust down, face first into the ground that is my decision to jump in the first place. No one should feel shame for jumping out of the plane… Taking a risk. Experiencing something that is not easy or perfect or ( Read more... )

Sometimes I feel I am foolish and nobody is as foolish as I am. I blurt out anything and often everything. I boast and need to say stupid things out loud just to say them. I make myself look like an awful human being with a big smile on my face ( Read more... )

now that I have gotten all of that negativity out of the way ( Read more... )

It's summer. this year went quickly but not without the oppertunity for plenty of shitty situations to transpire. My negative to positive thought ratio is not good right now. I am not really recognizing anything constant that has stayed good for more than a few weeks since september. At least I know next year won't be the same. I guess that is ( Read more... )

so whats with this. living in my new apartment should rule but life is kind of sucking anyway? and someone burned a hole into my couch not even a week into living here SUCKS. i want my next tattoo NOW. I cant wait to finish designing it. i need to start painting but ive been in too shitty of a mood every time i think to do it. i wish i lived in the ( Read more... )

my life does not feel remotely like it is connected to any true reality right now. i dont know what is purely mental and what is a result of where and what circumstances have brought me. what if fate is entirely wrong. what if all decisions have no most favorable effect.. I do not understand how I got here. I can probably explain more later. maybe ( Read more... )