Would you think it strange if I said that Uptown Girl has kept me awake all night?

Well, it fucking has.

Never again will I play that song. It has lodged itself so far into my brain that I swear, if I shot my brains out, it would blast out of nowhere like some invisible speaker hooked up to some demonic cd player.

Hahahaha. Hahahahaha.

Enter DRUNK MAN #1, DRUNK MAN # 2, and JANELL.

Drunk Man #1- Hey, could you spare some change?

Me- Huh??

Drunk Man # 1- I said, could you spare some change?

Me- Oh, sorry. I got none.

Me- But I do have a cigarette. Here.

Drunk Man #1- Oh, thanks.

Drunk Man #2- Heeeeeeey!

Me- Yo.

Drunk Man #2- Do you have a limosouine so I can get home?

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"...in 1914, the Serbs assassinated the heir to the Austro-Hungarian Empire, Archduke Franz Ferdinand*. This directly led up to World War I. After the end of WWI, and the fall of the Austro-Hungarian Empire, Serbian, Croatian, and Slovenian leaders conspired to unite and form a new federation called Yugoslavia to help protect against an ( Read more... )

Random foreign insult of the day:

Klloshar

It means "loser" in Albanian.

"I'd rather clean the kitchen floor with a toothbrush than hug you ( Read more... )

So tomorrow is the day I shall die.

Major Tonn is driving Swiss Boy and I downtown to the art gallery for 2:30 tomorrow.
Watch me drop a painting or something. He'll laugh, and I'll laugh, but later, I'LL DIE!On a lighter note, I'm back at home. My house has water and that's all I care about. Giant noisy industrial fans be damned, I am back ( Read more... )

So ( Read more... )

"I am so mad. Mom, I want to use the 'F' word so bad!

( Because I want to be Heather... )

Yeah, Heather and I looked like twins today.

So fucking what?

At least we made hot twins.

(The sort of twins guys dream of having threesomes with).