wow.
no one reads this shit anymore. which is why i decided to vent. for those who care. click between the ( )
have fun reading.
the hardest part of "breaking up" with an almost boyfriend i guess...is realizing that you didn't need him as much you thought. and realizing that no matter how many times you redo your makeup or how many times you make your self noticable, his decision isn't gonna change. and after so many nights crying and so many hours praying to God that maybe just maybe he wants you back just as much as you want him...it finally hit me. i WILL be ok without him and i will be able to care for someone that much again. i mean yeah he was one of the best things that seriously has ever happened to me..and being with him just felt so incredibly amazing...and no matter what anyone said i knew in my heart that I LOVED HIM. but now i realize that he's moved on. he's found someone else who can give him what he needs constantly. and im happy for him. he deserves the best. and all of you that know what went down are probably like what the fuck is wrong with you. he ditched you for her after he said he loved you and all that stuff...but u still care. and what i have to say to that is. YES. he broke my heart and YES if i could change the way things turned out. i definitely would. but i cant. and i know in my heart that the few months that i was able to call him mine he loved me...well at least loved me according to what i see love to be, and yeah some things were kinda fucked up. but shit happens. and i've learned to live with it. when i see him...sometime i feel like crying, but mostly i just smile becuase no matter what NO ONE can ever take away how he made me feel and no one can ever tell me that he didn't love me or that i'm better than him. cuz none of that's true. he was someone i will never forget. he's someone that i'll tell all my friends about in college. he was honestly my first. true true true high school romantic...depsite the short life it had. so am i over him? yes. i'm over the fact that we're not together. yes. im over the fact that things aren't the same. and im over the fact that he's with her. and im over the fact that i cant have him anymore. but no matter what happens...he will always always always always always always always have a piece of my heart. so i have no regrets. so thank you mr. wonderful. for everything.