(no subject)
i tried to delete this fucking thing but i don't know if i want to.
i need something to vent into, and that's all i use this for.
i really don't want to say anything though, but i wish i didn't feel how i do anymore. i want to sew my mouth shut, and stop everything. i hate how every relationship comes to a crashing breakup, and how much it hurts. it's been 4 fucking months, and i still feel like shit when i think about my life now. it's so stupid, and most of you don't understand, and i wish i would just stop. seriously, i can't stand myself anymore. i fuck so many things up and it's so annoying. i just want a job so i will make money and be busy and not think about stuff. i try not to, but every time i'm doing okay, i dream about things. i fucking hate it. UGHKAJDKAJSDKJAKSJDKASJDKNGJKNAJLNJL god damnit. and i hate the fact that i'm going to have to go through this a million more times through out my life, and i know that each time i get hurt, the person hurting me won't care. only i will, it's already been shown. I'm pathetic, but i'm human.
and i feel like i'm losing so many people, other than that, and i don't like that because my friends mean the world to me. i don't talk to my mom, and i feel like i have to fight to hang out with alot of people i love. it's fine if you're too busy for me. i just wish i could get out of everyone's lives that i am a bother for. i want to get out of his life, he's tried to get me out, so i'm going to. and i just want to change.
i need something to vent into, and that's all i use this for.
i really don't want to say anything though, but i wish i didn't feel how i do anymore. i want to sew my mouth shut, and stop everything. i hate how every relationship comes to a crashing breakup, and how much it hurts. it's been 4 fucking months, and i still feel like shit when i think about my life now. it's so stupid, and most of you don't understand, and i wish i would just stop. seriously, i can't stand myself anymore. i fuck so many things up and it's so annoying. i just want a job so i will make money and be busy and not think about stuff. i try not to, but every time i'm doing okay, i dream about things. i fucking hate it. UGHKAJDKAJSDKJAKSJDKASJDKNGJKNAJLNJL god damnit. and i hate the fact that i'm going to have to go through this a million more times through out my life, and i know that each time i get hurt, the person hurting me won't care. only i will, it's already been shown. I'm pathetic, but i'm human.
and i feel like i'm losing so many people, other than that, and i don't like that because my friends mean the world to me. i don't talk to my mom, and i feel like i have to fight to hang out with alot of people i love. it's fine if you're too busy for me. i just wish i could get out of everyone's lives that i am a bother for. i want to get out of his life, he's tried to get me out, so i'm going to. and i just want to change.