Chapter Five
Title: Crawling Backwards
Author: xxShilaleighxx
Fandom: Music/VAM
Summery: Ville is in love with Bam, but Bam only loves Ville when he’s drunk. By morning it’s forgotten and Bam goes on to believe that they’re still just friends. Ville puts up with it for his love, but it’s slowly killing him inside.
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
Pairing: VAM…eventually.
Rating: NC-17 in some parts…but generally it’s R
Links to previous chapters behind the cut.
Prologue
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Bam and Dunn stayed at the skate park until night fell, stumbling through the door in a fit of giggles with a beer in each hand. I had spent the day trying to write, but the stuff I managed to scrape together was too depressing even for me. As they slammed the door open I abandoned my quest and wandered out to greet them.
“Ville! My friend!” Bam shouted as I approached, wrapping an arm around my shoulders. I grinned sheepishly and returned the hug, pushing aside the thoughts racing through my head.
“Enjoy your day?” I asked and pulled away, moving to sit down on the couch. Both of them quickly followed, Bam practically falling down next to me.
“Fuck yes we did! You should’ve seen it, Dunn was trying to pick up this one chick but she kept staring at him like he was a serial rapist or some shit,” Bam laughed, rolling his eyes as Dunn just scowled. I forced myself to laugh, too.
“She totally would have gone for me if you weren’t standing there making cracks about me being gay,” Dunn defended, throwing his now empty beer bottle at Bam. Bam just laughed harder as the brown bottle hit him on the shoulder.
“Whatever, dude,” Bam sighed, his head rolling back to rest on the back of the couch. Silence grew between us and the only sounds being heard were Bam’s heavy breathing and the occasional sound of Dunn sipping from his beer.
“I think I’m gonna’ head to bed, boys,” I said after a minute, not being able to handle the oppressive silence. I tried to keep the sarcasm to a minimum with the next comment, but I have a feeling I failed. “It’s been a pleasure.”
Without waiting for a response I stood and walked to my room, making sure to close the door behind me. It didn’t take long for me to collapse back onto my bed with a heavy sigh. At least they were having a good time, I couldn’t help but think.
With a groan I rolled over and tried to get some sleep.
~*~
He was there when I awoke, standing against the doorframe with his legs leisurely crossed at the ankles. All I could make out was his silhouette in the dark, but I knew it was him.
Forcing myself to sit up in the bed, I glanced at him-his deep blue eyes seeming to pierce through the darkness. Before I could speak he was walking toward me, the drunken stumbling left in the other room. He walked slowly, gingerly materializing from the dark like an angel, until he was standing at the edge of my bed.
And that’s where he stayed. For a long moment he just stood there, staring at me in what could only be described as fascination. I wanted to reach out and grab him, run my fingers down his chest and kiss him everywhere. As if reading my thoughts, he moved onto the bed, hovering over me in all his glory, propped up with his hands on either side of me.
My heart began to beat rapidly as I reached a shaking hand up to trace his jaw line, drawing an imaginary pattern that only I could see. In one swift movement he lowered his head to my neck and began to smother me with sloppy kisses.
“Bam,” I tried to speak, tried to tell him that what we were doing was wrong, but my words hitched in my throat and refused to come out. Unconsciously, I tangled my nimble hands in his brown curls, holding his head in place. I felt his lips curve into a grin against my skin as he moved up to place a kiss on my lips.
Our tongues danced to a staccato beat, not stopping until we were both out of air. I tried to ignore the taste of alcohol on his lips as he kissed me again, this time gently and closed-mouthed. Without thinking I reached down and began to pull at his belt buckle.
“No, let me,” he whispered, his voice husky. I felt him sigh as he ran a hand down my side until it connected with mine and pulled me away. Clumsily fiddling with his belt buckle, he nearly laughed when it finally came undone and pulled his pants halfway down, his boxers quickly following. I moved to pull off his shirt, but once again he stopped me with a simple “no.”
Closing my eyes, I let him kiss me again as his fingers played with the hem of my boxers. I wanted him so badly, so urgently, that I could almost pretend that he was stone-sober. Almost.
With a gasp I bucked my hips into his as he ran a skilled hand up my length, his nail gently grazing the sensitive skin. He grinned at my response and brought his weight down gently on top of me, placing a series of kisses on my collar bone.
“Dear god, Bam,” I moaned into his shoulder, biting down softly on the pale flesh. He groaned and quickly detached himself from my arms. For a second I was confused by his absence, but I smiled when I saw him rolling on a condom.
The bed squeaked as he climbed back over me, his lips reclaiming their place on my jaw line. I couldn’t stop the moan that rose in my throat as he reached a hand down to grab my length. I knew what was coming next, but I let my mind focus on the pleasure rather than the pain that I knew was awaiting me.
In one swift movement he was inside me, his head falling to rest on my shoulder as a groan escaped his lips. My eyes squeezed shut with the sudden pain, but I kissed him on top of his head and urged him to move.
As he began to thrust his hand easily wrapped itself around my length again and began to stroke in time to his movements, eliciting the urge to come. I couldn’t hold on much longer, but I didn’t want to moment to end. Tears pricked my eyes at the knowledge that this would all be over in a few seconds, and I tried to hold on to this wonderful feeling for as long as I could.
“Vittu!” I shouted suddenly, coming into his hand. Moments later he shouted my name and came himself, collapsing on top of me in a heap of sweat and skin, his chest heaving with his quick breathing.
I rode out my orgasm for as long as it would take me, my hands still tangled in Bam’s sweaty hair. My breath came in short pants as I tried to control my oxygen intake. On top of me Bam smiled and moved to roll over. Before he could, though, I wrapped my arms around him and held him in place.
“Bam,” I began, but once again the words got caught in my throat. This seemed to be happening a lot to me lately. I knew he was moving to leave, to get up and go back to his room where he’d fall asleep and forget about all of this in the morning-nursing nothing more than a bad hangover.
I felt tears welling up almost painfully in my eyes, and I tried to blink them back in vain. I couldn’t let him see me cry. Burying my face in his shirt, I let a sob rush from my throat, muffled by the black cotton.
“What’s wrong?” I heard him ask, but there was no real concern in his voice. He tried to move my face to look at him, but I refused.
“Just…remember.” I murmured into his shoulder, my tears soaking into his shirt. “Just remember,” I repeated, a sob breaking up the words and making them sound almost childish. “Don’t forget this night.”
I knew that my words were falling on deaf ears, and that thought hurt more than anything else. He ran a hand through my tangled hair and whispered sweet-nothings into my ear. But that’s exactly what they were: nothings.
~*~
Sorry if it seems a bit short, this just seemed like a good place to end it.
Comments = Coffee And Cigarettes
And remember: This story and others can also be found at: 616HasGotAName
Author: xxShilaleighxx
Fandom: Music/VAM
Summery: Ville is in love with Bam, but Bam only loves Ville when he’s drunk. By morning it’s forgotten and Bam goes on to believe that they’re still just friends. Ville puts up with it for his love, but it’s slowly killing him inside.
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
Pairing: VAM…eventually.
Rating: NC-17 in some parts…but generally it’s R
Links to previous chapters behind the cut.
Prologue
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Bam and Dunn stayed at the skate park until night fell, stumbling through the door in a fit of giggles with a beer in each hand. I had spent the day trying to write, but the stuff I managed to scrape together was too depressing even for me. As they slammed the door open I abandoned my quest and wandered out to greet them.
“Ville! My friend!” Bam shouted as I approached, wrapping an arm around my shoulders. I grinned sheepishly and returned the hug, pushing aside the thoughts racing through my head.
“Enjoy your day?” I asked and pulled away, moving to sit down on the couch. Both of them quickly followed, Bam practically falling down next to me.
“Fuck yes we did! You should’ve seen it, Dunn was trying to pick up this one chick but she kept staring at him like he was a serial rapist or some shit,” Bam laughed, rolling his eyes as Dunn just scowled. I forced myself to laugh, too.
“She totally would have gone for me if you weren’t standing there making cracks about me being gay,” Dunn defended, throwing his now empty beer bottle at Bam. Bam just laughed harder as the brown bottle hit him on the shoulder.
“Whatever, dude,” Bam sighed, his head rolling back to rest on the back of the couch. Silence grew between us and the only sounds being heard were Bam’s heavy breathing and the occasional sound of Dunn sipping from his beer.
“I think I’m gonna’ head to bed, boys,” I said after a minute, not being able to handle the oppressive silence. I tried to keep the sarcasm to a minimum with the next comment, but I have a feeling I failed. “It’s been a pleasure.”
Without waiting for a response I stood and walked to my room, making sure to close the door behind me. It didn’t take long for me to collapse back onto my bed with a heavy sigh. At least they were having a good time, I couldn’t help but think.
With a groan I rolled over and tried to get some sleep.
~*~
He was there when I awoke, standing against the doorframe with his legs leisurely crossed at the ankles. All I could make out was his silhouette in the dark, but I knew it was him.
Forcing myself to sit up in the bed, I glanced at him-his deep blue eyes seeming to pierce through the darkness. Before I could speak he was walking toward me, the drunken stumbling left in the other room. He walked slowly, gingerly materializing from the dark like an angel, until he was standing at the edge of my bed.
And that’s where he stayed. For a long moment he just stood there, staring at me in what could only be described as fascination. I wanted to reach out and grab him, run my fingers down his chest and kiss him everywhere. As if reading my thoughts, he moved onto the bed, hovering over me in all his glory, propped up with his hands on either side of me.
My heart began to beat rapidly as I reached a shaking hand up to trace his jaw line, drawing an imaginary pattern that only I could see. In one swift movement he lowered his head to my neck and began to smother me with sloppy kisses.
“Bam,” I tried to speak, tried to tell him that what we were doing was wrong, but my words hitched in my throat and refused to come out. Unconsciously, I tangled my nimble hands in his brown curls, holding his head in place. I felt his lips curve into a grin against my skin as he moved up to place a kiss on my lips.
Our tongues danced to a staccato beat, not stopping until we were both out of air. I tried to ignore the taste of alcohol on his lips as he kissed me again, this time gently and closed-mouthed. Without thinking I reached down and began to pull at his belt buckle.
“No, let me,” he whispered, his voice husky. I felt him sigh as he ran a hand down my side until it connected with mine and pulled me away. Clumsily fiddling with his belt buckle, he nearly laughed when it finally came undone and pulled his pants halfway down, his boxers quickly following. I moved to pull off his shirt, but once again he stopped me with a simple “no.”
Closing my eyes, I let him kiss me again as his fingers played with the hem of my boxers. I wanted him so badly, so urgently, that I could almost pretend that he was stone-sober. Almost.
With a gasp I bucked my hips into his as he ran a skilled hand up my length, his nail gently grazing the sensitive skin. He grinned at my response and brought his weight down gently on top of me, placing a series of kisses on my collar bone.
“Dear god, Bam,” I moaned into his shoulder, biting down softly on the pale flesh. He groaned and quickly detached himself from my arms. For a second I was confused by his absence, but I smiled when I saw him rolling on a condom.
The bed squeaked as he climbed back over me, his lips reclaiming their place on my jaw line. I couldn’t stop the moan that rose in my throat as he reached a hand down to grab my length. I knew what was coming next, but I let my mind focus on the pleasure rather than the pain that I knew was awaiting me.
In one swift movement he was inside me, his head falling to rest on my shoulder as a groan escaped his lips. My eyes squeezed shut with the sudden pain, but I kissed him on top of his head and urged him to move.
As he began to thrust his hand easily wrapped itself around my length again and began to stroke in time to his movements, eliciting the urge to come. I couldn’t hold on much longer, but I didn’t want to moment to end. Tears pricked my eyes at the knowledge that this would all be over in a few seconds, and I tried to hold on to this wonderful feeling for as long as I could.
“Vittu!” I shouted suddenly, coming into his hand. Moments later he shouted my name and came himself, collapsing on top of me in a heap of sweat and skin, his chest heaving with his quick breathing.
I rode out my orgasm for as long as it would take me, my hands still tangled in Bam’s sweaty hair. My breath came in short pants as I tried to control my oxygen intake. On top of me Bam smiled and moved to roll over. Before he could, though, I wrapped my arms around him and held him in place.
“Bam,” I began, but once again the words got caught in my throat. This seemed to be happening a lot to me lately. I knew he was moving to leave, to get up and go back to his room where he’d fall asleep and forget about all of this in the morning-nursing nothing more than a bad hangover.
I felt tears welling up almost painfully in my eyes, and I tried to blink them back in vain. I couldn’t let him see me cry. Burying my face in his shirt, I let a sob rush from my throat, muffled by the black cotton.
“What’s wrong?” I heard him ask, but there was no real concern in his voice. He tried to move my face to look at him, but I refused.
“Just…remember.” I murmured into his shoulder, my tears soaking into his shirt. “Just remember,” I repeated, a sob breaking up the words and making them sound almost childish. “Don’t forget this night.”
I knew that my words were falling on deaf ears, and that thought hurt more than anything else. He ran a hand through my tangled hair and whispered sweet-nothings into my ear. But that’s exactly what they were: nothings.
~*~
Sorry if it seems a bit short, this just seemed like a good place to end it.
Comments = Coffee And Cigarettes
And remember: This story and others can also be found at: 616HasGotAName