"Drug Like"
Title: “Drug Like”
Fandom: Real People
Characters: Ville Valo & Bam Margera
Prompt: #096 -- Author's Choice
Word Count: 2,277
Rating: NC-17
Summary: Ville spends a night with Bam, a night neither of them are likely to forget…Angst-what else?
Author's Notes: Inspired by the song “Drug Like” by Action Action. I used to lyrics to that song in this little drabble, and just like with Ville and Bam I don’t claim ownership. So don’t sue.
He was there before I even called. He knew.
I stared up him with hollow eyes, eyes that were once so full of life but were now as dead as the night around us. He used to tell me how much he loved the twinkle in my green eyes. He used to.
His blue orbs are alight with fear as he peers down at me, one leg crooked up beneath him on the couch and an arm wrapped loosely around the back cushion. He wanted to say something, I could see it in the way his eyes darted about the room; but he didn’t. Instead he leaned in, a single, chaste kiss placed on my cold lips.
Soft, delicate, warm; everything that I wasn’t. He was beautiful and I was hideous. He was the light that divided the darkness, and I was the dirty city smog that blocked him out.
I'm an angel with broken wings
Who's poisoning the night
With love, from me to you
His eyes were wandering again-this time to my forearms. I knew what he was thinking. I knew he was wondering why I would do it. Nervously I scratched my pale flesh through the long-sleeved cotton shirt that I had thrown on at the last minute. His eyes followed my every movement, widening a bit as the shirt rode up slightly to reveal the mess beneath.
I nearly broke down in tears right then. He wasn’t supposed to see that. He wasn’t supposed to see the mess that was me.
That’s what I was: a mess. A train wreck. A car accident that he couldn’t pull his eyes away from. He was an innocent bystander watching as everything around him turned to chaos and pain. I knew deep down he wanted to help. I knew that he wanted to make things better again. He just didn’t know how.
I'm having an episode
Do you want a small bit part?
I think you might, oh, I hope you do
In one quick movement he had my face pressed between two strong hands, hungry lips upon my own. He sucked my bottom lip into his mouth, nibbling slightly as I moaned into his touch. This was his medicine-he needed this just as much as I did. He needed this more than I did. I would give it to him.
Eager eyes peered into mine as his right hand slipped up the side of my face, finally tangling itself in my curling hair. The world around me seemed to melt away as his other hand snaked under my shirt and began running circles up and down my abdomen. Two fervent fingers attacked my nipples-painfully sharp but surprisingly erotic. Once more I moaned into his mouth before pulling away to catch my breath. He didn’t give me long, though, as he soon pulled me into another passionate kiss.
A kiss so fatal that it was breaking my heart to be a part of.
Oh, baby, go so slowly
Nowhere, nothing, quiet softly
The razor sat on the nearby table, glinting menacingly in the dim light, a few stray drops of blood tainting its once perfect surface and causing me to pause. He saw where my gaze had wandered and pulled my face to his before burying his own in the crook of my neck. He sucked and pulled on the tender flesh, eliciting a gasp from me as he bit down softly. I was definitely going to have a hickey there tomorrow-and I planned to wear it with pride.
This was the cure for my loneliness. The cure for my tragedy. The cure for all of the problems that were…me.
My world fell apart long ago, and he was helping to put the pieces back together. As his hands wandered to my belt buckle, I slapped him away and pulled back again. Not tonight.
I shook my head ‘no’ and smiled, my lips once more smashing into his before we pulled a part and gasped for air. His eyes were glowing-a dazzling beacon guiding me through the darkness.
The world falls apart
In just seven days
It sinks to the bottom
In oceans of rain
The cure is so clear
The blood is astray
And everyone dies
Except for the rain
As we sat there-face to face on the empty couch-I found my eyes wandering back to the razor. Instinctively my bitten finger nails scratched violently at my forearm; an ever-present reminder of my sins. A warm arm wrapped around my wrist, stopping my movements and drawing my attention back to him. I saw something in his eyes that I never wanted to see again. I saw pain.
A rogue tear rolled down my left cheek, only to drip off the end of my chin and seep into my tattered shirt. A million questions raced through my head at once, confusing and blinding me. I tried to execute the sob that I knew was building in my throat, but it only made me cry harder as it broke free against my will. He wasn’t supposed to see me cry. I was his rock-I was supposed to be strong for him. And here I was, sniveling on his couch like a baby.
“Don’t worry about it, sweetheart,” he hushed me, one hand rubbing the side of my face affectionately. “You don’t have to talk if you don’t want to.”
I shook my head even though I didn’t mean to. I didn’t want to talk about it-but I had to. I heard him grunt in approval as I finally peeled my wet hands from my face, a line of salty tears forming a web between them.
And I think that I'm
Starting to scare myself
And I think that I'm
Starting to scare myself
“Bammi…I’m so scared, Bammi.” The words were choked and whispered, another sob getting caught in my throat. I felt him lean in and wrap his arms around my repulsively skinny body, pulling me into his loving warmth. I buried my face into the fabric of his shirt, instantly feeling guilty for sullying it with my tears.
He breathed in deep, calculating which words to use next, before speaking. “What are you afraid of, Ville?”
There was no anger to his words-only love and concern. I pulled away from him to look in his eyes, only to find that he was completely serious. I sniffled rather obnoxiously, cursing myself for being so rude in front of such an angel.
“I’m scared of myself,” I whispered in shame, my head hanging low as I waited for him to explode on me.
I hate myself and I want you to die
So insincere, swallowing ice
And it all will render useless
He didn’t scream. He didn’t lash out. He didn’t hit me.
I felt as he once again wrapped his arms around me, but this time he rested his forehead against my own. The contrast in heat was astounding-he was so warm and full of life, and I was cold and dead. With the pad of his thumb he wiped away the remaining tears on my face, his finger returning to him smudged with soaked eyeliner and mascara.
I felt so tired. I let out a heavy sigh as he kissed my nose lightly; a ghost of a touch, but it was all that I needed. His touch was euphoric and I felt as though I didn’t deserve such affection.
“You have nothing to be afraid of,” he whispered, his warm breath caressing my face. I felt my eyes prickling with the oncoming assault of tears.
“Yes I do,” I choked, wrenching my arm free and violently rolling up the sleeve of my shirt. His eyes fell to the crisscrossing lines that ran up and down my forearm, some of the scratches still bleeding. “Look at me, dammit! Look what I did! Fucking punish me already!”
Welcome to enhancement by affiliation
Time swept by in a hungry nation
And everybody's dancing
To get it off their chests
And everybody dies
No one gets to rest
He didn’t say anything for a long moment, his eyes still locked on the myriad of cuts. There were so many that it was nearly impossible to distinguish one from the other. I watched as his gaze fell on the discarded razor before he sighed and vivid blue eyes met dull green.
“I see what you’ve done, Ville.” It sounded almost like an apology. No…he wasn’t supposed to apologize for this mess. It was my fault, not his. I was the one that deserved to be punished. I needed to be punished! “And it hurts me to see that,” he added. “But it’s over; you have nothing to be afraid of. I’m here for you now. You’ll never be alone.”
“No!” The sudden shout scared even me as it ripped its way from my throat. “You don’t understand! I’m bad! I’ve been very…very bad.”
The sobs came again no matter how hard I tried to stop them. I broke. With my face once more finding its home in my hands, I rejected his touch as he tried to wrap his arms around me again.
Oh, baby, go so slowly
Nowhere, nothing, quiet softly
I could feel it. I could feel how badly he wanted to comfort me-and yet I still pushed him away. I always pushed him away.
We were falling apart. We were crashing to the floor at a million miles per hour and there was nothing I could do to stop it. I loved him. He loved me. But the end was growing near. I felt it. I felt it in the wind, I felt it in our touch, I felt it in his kiss. We always dreamed that we’d be together forever, but dreams don’t always come true.
He tried again to put his arm around me, but just like before I wouldn’t allow it. I didn’t deserve his touch. After what I had done, I didn’t deserve to be loved by anyone. Especially not him.
The world falls apart
In just seven days
It sinks to the bottom
In oceans of rain
The cure is so clear
The blood is astray
And everyone dies
Except for the rain
We were going to die. Everyone dies-we will die. We will die, but we’ll go out in a blaze of fucking glory.
In a sudden movement I latched my lips on to his; the kiss was desperate and needy. I hungrily devoured every inch of his mouth, trying to take in every taste I could before it was too late. He didn’t argue. He tangled his fingers in my long hair, pulling and tugging as he bucked his hips into mine. I wanted things to stay this way. I wanted to live forever in his kiss. But I couldn’t.
I roughly pulled at his shirt until he lifted it over his head, discarding it on the garbage-littered floor. Mine soon followed and before long our naked torsos were connected with only a thin layer of sweat between us. I raked my bitten nails down his side, eliciting a gasp from his beautifully puckered lips. His hands reached out for my bet buckle, and this time I didn’t deny him access.
I needed this.
And I think that I'm
Starting to scare myself
And I think that I'm
Starting to scare myself
In one swift movement I had my hands down his pants-groping and tugging at his boxers with so much need that it was killing me to be moving as slow as we were. He followed after my precursor, his hands finding just the right spot and pulling.
I gasped as his lips once more found mine, a silent message communicating with me through his eyes. He needed this, too. He would discard me like all the others, but for now he was mine.
This was my fix. If I didn’t get this now I would die. If he didn’t give me what I needed I would…I would die. I entangled my fingers with his, grunting as he continued his menstruations and forgetting about what I should be doing for him. This wasn’t about him. This was about me.
And I think, and I think I'm
Starting to scare myself
And I think, and I think I'm
Starting to scare myself
And I think, and I think I'm
Starting to scare myself
And I think, and I think I'm
Starting to scare myself
He was the part of me that I was missing. He was what made me whole. Without him in my life I was nothing. I needed him like a drug. I needed him so badly that it made my skin burn and my head spin. And here he was, coming to me in my time of need.
“I love you,” he panted slightly, his face burried in the crook of my neck.
I only grunted in response. I couldn’t form the words right now. We were dying, after all. This could be our last night together. He would go his separate ways, and I would go mine. I would never stop thinking about him, and neither him about me. But we would be dead. This wouldn’t last much longer.
He was my heroin. He was my drug. And I finally got my fix.
Go slow for the
Angels will fall
For the better-ness
Of this orgy god
Half lives
With secular law
Suspended in a drug like,
In a drug like
In a drug like
In a drug like
State of bliss
Yeah, I know. It sucked.
Fandom: Real People
Characters: Ville Valo & Bam Margera
Prompt: #096 -- Author's Choice
Word Count: 2,277
Rating: NC-17
Summary: Ville spends a night with Bam, a night neither of them are likely to forget…Angst-what else?
Author's Notes: Inspired by the song “Drug Like” by Action Action. I used to lyrics to that song in this little drabble, and just like with Ville and Bam I don’t claim ownership. So don’t sue.
He was there before I even called. He knew.
I stared up him with hollow eyes, eyes that were once so full of life but were now as dead as the night around us. He used to tell me how much he loved the twinkle in my green eyes. He used to.
His blue orbs are alight with fear as he peers down at me, one leg crooked up beneath him on the couch and an arm wrapped loosely around the back cushion. He wanted to say something, I could see it in the way his eyes darted about the room; but he didn’t. Instead he leaned in, a single, chaste kiss placed on my cold lips.
Soft, delicate, warm; everything that I wasn’t. He was beautiful and I was hideous. He was the light that divided the darkness, and I was the dirty city smog that blocked him out.
I'm an angel with broken wings
Who's poisoning the night
With love, from me to you
His eyes were wandering again-this time to my forearms. I knew what he was thinking. I knew he was wondering why I would do it. Nervously I scratched my pale flesh through the long-sleeved cotton shirt that I had thrown on at the last minute. His eyes followed my every movement, widening a bit as the shirt rode up slightly to reveal the mess beneath.
I nearly broke down in tears right then. He wasn’t supposed to see that. He wasn’t supposed to see the mess that was me.
That’s what I was: a mess. A train wreck. A car accident that he couldn’t pull his eyes away from. He was an innocent bystander watching as everything around him turned to chaos and pain. I knew deep down he wanted to help. I knew that he wanted to make things better again. He just didn’t know how.
I'm having an episode
Do you want a small bit part?
I think you might, oh, I hope you do
In one quick movement he had my face pressed between two strong hands, hungry lips upon my own. He sucked my bottom lip into his mouth, nibbling slightly as I moaned into his touch. This was his medicine-he needed this just as much as I did. He needed this more than I did. I would give it to him.
Eager eyes peered into mine as his right hand slipped up the side of my face, finally tangling itself in my curling hair. The world around me seemed to melt away as his other hand snaked under my shirt and began running circles up and down my abdomen. Two fervent fingers attacked my nipples-painfully sharp but surprisingly erotic. Once more I moaned into his mouth before pulling away to catch my breath. He didn’t give me long, though, as he soon pulled me into another passionate kiss.
A kiss so fatal that it was breaking my heart to be a part of.
Oh, baby, go so slowly
Nowhere, nothing, quiet softly
The razor sat on the nearby table, glinting menacingly in the dim light, a few stray drops of blood tainting its once perfect surface and causing me to pause. He saw where my gaze had wandered and pulled my face to his before burying his own in the crook of my neck. He sucked and pulled on the tender flesh, eliciting a gasp from me as he bit down softly. I was definitely going to have a hickey there tomorrow-and I planned to wear it with pride.
This was the cure for my loneliness. The cure for my tragedy. The cure for all of the problems that were…me.
My world fell apart long ago, and he was helping to put the pieces back together. As his hands wandered to my belt buckle, I slapped him away and pulled back again. Not tonight.
I shook my head ‘no’ and smiled, my lips once more smashing into his before we pulled a part and gasped for air. His eyes were glowing-a dazzling beacon guiding me through the darkness.
The world falls apart
In just seven days
It sinks to the bottom
In oceans of rain
The cure is so clear
The blood is astray
And everyone dies
Except for the rain
As we sat there-face to face on the empty couch-I found my eyes wandering back to the razor. Instinctively my bitten finger nails scratched violently at my forearm; an ever-present reminder of my sins. A warm arm wrapped around my wrist, stopping my movements and drawing my attention back to him. I saw something in his eyes that I never wanted to see again. I saw pain.
A rogue tear rolled down my left cheek, only to drip off the end of my chin and seep into my tattered shirt. A million questions raced through my head at once, confusing and blinding me. I tried to execute the sob that I knew was building in my throat, but it only made me cry harder as it broke free against my will. He wasn’t supposed to see me cry. I was his rock-I was supposed to be strong for him. And here I was, sniveling on his couch like a baby.
“Don’t worry about it, sweetheart,” he hushed me, one hand rubbing the side of my face affectionately. “You don’t have to talk if you don’t want to.”
I shook my head even though I didn’t mean to. I didn’t want to talk about it-but I had to. I heard him grunt in approval as I finally peeled my wet hands from my face, a line of salty tears forming a web between them.
And I think that I'm
Starting to scare myself
And I think that I'm
Starting to scare myself
“Bammi…I’m so scared, Bammi.” The words were choked and whispered, another sob getting caught in my throat. I felt him lean in and wrap his arms around my repulsively skinny body, pulling me into his loving warmth. I buried my face into the fabric of his shirt, instantly feeling guilty for sullying it with my tears.
He breathed in deep, calculating which words to use next, before speaking. “What are you afraid of, Ville?”
There was no anger to his words-only love and concern. I pulled away from him to look in his eyes, only to find that he was completely serious. I sniffled rather obnoxiously, cursing myself for being so rude in front of such an angel.
“I’m scared of myself,” I whispered in shame, my head hanging low as I waited for him to explode on me.
I hate myself and I want you to die
So insincere, swallowing ice
And it all will render useless
He didn’t scream. He didn’t lash out. He didn’t hit me.
I felt as he once again wrapped his arms around me, but this time he rested his forehead against my own. The contrast in heat was astounding-he was so warm and full of life, and I was cold and dead. With the pad of his thumb he wiped away the remaining tears on my face, his finger returning to him smudged with soaked eyeliner and mascara.
I felt so tired. I let out a heavy sigh as he kissed my nose lightly; a ghost of a touch, but it was all that I needed. His touch was euphoric and I felt as though I didn’t deserve such affection.
“You have nothing to be afraid of,” he whispered, his warm breath caressing my face. I felt my eyes prickling with the oncoming assault of tears.
“Yes I do,” I choked, wrenching my arm free and violently rolling up the sleeve of my shirt. His eyes fell to the crisscrossing lines that ran up and down my forearm, some of the scratches still bleeding. “Look at me, dammit! Look what I did! Fucking punish me already!”
Welcome to enhancement by affiliation
Time swept by in a hungry nation
And everybody's dancing
To get it off their chests
And everybody dies
No one gets to rest
He didn’t say anything for a long moment, his eyes still locked on the myriad of cuts. There were so many that it was nearly impossible to distinguish one from the other. I watched as his gaze fell on the discarded razor before he sighed and vivid blue eyes met dull green.
“I see what you’ve done, Ville.” It sounded almost like an apology. No…he wasn’t supposed to apologize for this mess. It was my fault, not his. I was the one that deserved to be punished. I needed to be punished! “And it hurts me to see that,” he added. “But it’s over; you have nothing to be afraid of. I’m here for you now. You’ll never be alone.”
“No!” The sudden shout scared even me as it ripped its way from my throat. “You don’t understand! I’m bad! I’ve been very…very bad.”
The sobs came again no matter how hard I tried to stop them. I broke. With my face once more finding its home in my hands, I rejected his touch as he tried to wrap his arms around me again.
Oh, baby, go so slowly
Nowhere, nothing, quiet softly
I could feel it. I could feel how badly he wanted to comfort me-and yet I still pushed him away. I always pushed him away.
We were falling apart. We were crashing to the floor at a million miles per hour and there was nothing I could do to stop it. I loved him. He loved me. But the end was growing near. I felt it. I felt it in the wind, I felt it in our touch, I felt it in his kiss. We always dreamed that we’d be together forever, but dreams don’t always come true.
He tried again to put his arm around me, but just like before I wouldn’t allow it. I didn’t deserve his touch. After what I had done, I didn’t deserve to be loved by anyone. Especially not him.
The world falls apart
In just seven days
It sinks to the bottom
In oceans of rain
The cure is so clear
The blood is astray
And everyone dies
Except for the rain
We were going to die. Everyone dies-we will die. We will die, but we’ll go out in a blaze of fucking glory.
In a sudden movement I latched my lips on to his; the kiss was desperate and needy. I hungrily devoured every inch of his mouth, trying to take in every taste I could before it was too late. He didn’t argue. He tangled his fingers in my long hair, pulling and tugging as he bucked his hips into mine. I wanted things to stay this way. I wanted to live forever in his kiss. But I couldn’t.
I roughly pulled at his shirt until he lifted it over his head, discarding it on the garbage-littered floor. Mine soon followed and before long our naked torsos were connected with only a thin layer of sweat between us. I raked my bitten nails down his side, eliciting a gasp from his beautifully puckered lips. His hands reached out for my bet buckle, and this time I didn’t deny him access.
I needed this.
And I think that I'm
Starting to scare myself
And I think that I'm
Starting to scare myself
In one swift movement I had my hands down his pants-groping and tugging at his boxers with so much need that it was killing me to be moving as slow as we were. He followed after my precursor, his hands finding just the right spot and pulling.
I gasped as his lips once more found mine, a silent message communicating with me through his eyes. He needed this, too. He would discard me like all the others, but for now he was mine.
This was my fix. If I didn’t get this now I would die. If he didn’t give me what I needed I would…I would die. I entangled my fingers with his, grunting as he continued his menstruations and forgetting about what I should be doing for him. This wasn’t about him. This was about me.
And I think, and I think I'm
Starting to scare myself
And I think, and I think I'm
Starting to scare myself
And I think, and I think I'm
Starting to scare myself
And I think, and I think I'm
Starting to scare myself
He was the part of me that I was missing. He was what made me whole. Without him in my life I was nothing. I needed him like a drug. I needed him so badly that it made my skin burn and my head spin. And here he was, coming to me in my time of need.
“I love you,” he panted slightly, his face burried in the crook of my neck.
I only grunted in response. I couldn’t form the words right now. We were dying, after all. This could be our last night together. He would go his separate ways, and I would go mine. I would never stop thinking about him, and neither him about me. But we would be dead. This wouldn’t last much longer.
He was my heroin. He was my drug. And I finally got my fix.
Go slow for the
Angels will fall
For the better-ness
Of this orgy god
Half lives
With secular law
Suspended in a drug like,
In a drug like
In a drug like
In a drug like
State of bliss
Yeah, I know. It sucked.