"Madness is Only a State of Mind"
Title: Madness is Only a State of Mind
Fandom: Real People
Characters: Ville Valo & Bam Margera
Prompt: #022-Splatter
Word Count: 724
Rating: PG-13
Summery: Sometimes there's only one way to cure the pain...
Author’s Notes: Never happened, don’t own. It’s fiction. Get over it.
I love you. I love you and you’ll never know it. Only the crisscrossing slashes that line my arms bear witness to the testimony I have set for you.
It’s been fourteen days since I’ve last seen your face. Fourteen agonizing days since I was able to talk to you and forget about all of the troubles that plague my life in the real world. Fourteen days since I tried to tell you how I feel, but only managed to make a blubbering fool out of myself.
I wrote a song for you. Did you know that? You probably didn’t even notice it. If you look closely, a lot of my songs are about you. But this one…this one is different. This one is meant for your ears only. But you’ll never hear it, will you? You never do. You never stop to notice the hidden meaning in my words. You’re always too caught up in your life to notice that there’s someone standing before you pouring their soul out in an attempt to gain your attention. That person is me, but you’ll never know it.
The time we spend together is sweet torture for me. Just being in your presence brings a light to my life that, at times, I’m not sure is really there. You have this magnetism that draws me to you, a pull at my heartstrings that I can’t ignore, no matter how hard I try. It kills me to be with you and know that I can never truly have you. Yet, I can’t bring myself to leave you, no matter how often my brain tells me it’s the right thing to do. Because, no matter the pain you put me through, I know deep down that if I left you I would die.
But that doesn’t stop me from trying. Oh no, far from it. Every single night I sit in this bathroom, a picture of you propped up on the counter top to remind me why I’m committing these sinful acts. There was a time that words were my artwork. I could pour my heart and soul into a song and forget about you, if only for the briefest of moments. But now a razor is my pencil, and my arm has become my canvas. Words, pictures, random lines-all stretch across milk white skin: a hateful reminder that I’ll never be clean enough for you.
That’s what I’m doing right now, you know-reminding myself. I’m repeating the same curse in my head that I’ll never have you all to myself. Reminding myself that you will always be just out of my reach.
One slash here in remembrance of the time I tried to tell you. The time I thought for certain that I would let you know how I truly feel. Another parallel to it for the pain I feel because I was such a fool for thinking that you would actually listen. Another, and another, and another.
I have to dig in deep now, so the reminder of this time is evident above all the others. I need to know that I will never forget how irrational I was thinking that night. That one fateful night, when I laid my lips on yours and you pushed me away. When the next morning I waved it off to drunken stupidity. One deep line, stretching from elbow to wrist, to remind me that I will never be able to love you sober.
The blood is flowing now. I’ve gone far past the point of simple scratches and shallow cuts. This time I can actually feel my need for you flowing out of me in thick rivers of crimson. A sick part of me takes comfort in this knowledge. Maybe now I’ll finally be able to forget about you. Maybe now I’ll be able to put all of this behind me.
One splatter of blood, a perfect taint on the unsoiled floor, falls to the ground with a sound so soft I nearly miss it. One splatter is all it takes and I’ve forgotten. I’ve forgotten about you, I’ve forgotten about the pain, I’ve forgotten about the loneliness that’s eating away at my insides. One splatter and I’m left in silence.
And that’s all it takes, isn’t it? Just one little thing to make life okay again.
Am I the only one who's noticed that all of my prompts are really depressing? Haha.
Fandom: Real People
Characters: Ville Valo & Bam Margera
Prompt: #022-Splatter
Word Count: 724
Rating: PG-13
Summery: Sometimes there's only one way to cure the pain...
Author’s Notes: Never happened, don’t own. It’s fiction. Get over it.
I love you. I love you and you’ll never know it. Only the crisscrossing slashes that line my arms bear witness to the testimony I have set for you.
It’s been fourteen days since I’ve last seen your face. Fourteen agonizing days since I was able to talk to you and forget about all of the troubles that plague my life in the real world. Fourteen days since I tried to tell you how I feel, but only managed to make a blubbering fool out of myself.
I wrote a song for you. Did you know that? You probably didn’t even notice it. If you look closely, a lot of my songs are about you. But this one…this one is different. This one is meant for your ears only. But you’ll never hear it, will you? You never do. You never stop to notice the hidden meaning in my words. You’re always too caught up in your life to notice that there’s someone standing before you pouring their soul out in an attempt to gain your attention. That person is me, but you’ll never know it.
The time we spend together is sweet torture for me. Just being in your presence brings a light to my life that, at times, I’m not sure is really there. You have this magnetism that draws me to you, a pull at my heartstrings that I can’t ignore, no matter how hard I try. It kills me to be with you and know that I can never truly have you. Yet, I can’t bring myself to leave you, no matter how often my brain tells me it’s the right thing to do. Because, no matter the pain you put me through, I know deep down that if I left you I would die.
But that doesn’t stop me from trying. Oh no, far from it. Every single night I sit in this bathroom, a picture of you propped up on the counter top to remind me why I’m committing these sinful acts. There was a time that words were my artwork. I could pour my heart and soul into a song and forget about you, if only for the briefest of moments. But now a razor is my pencil, and my arm has become my canvas. Words, pictures, random lines-all stretch across milk white skin: a hateful reminder that I’ll never be clean enough for you.
That’s what I’m doing right now, you know-reminding myself. I’m repeating the same curse in my head that I’ll never have you all to myself. Reminding myself that you will always be just out of my reach.
One slash here in remembrance of the time I tried to tell you. The time I thought for certain that I would let you know how I truly feel. Another parallel to it for the pain I feel because I was such a fool for thinking that you would actually listen. Another, and another, and another.
I have to dig in deep now, so the reminder of this time is evident above all the others. I need to know that I will never forget how irrational I was thinking that night. That one fateful night, when I laid my lips on yours and you pushed me away. When the next morning I waved it off to drunken stupidity. One deep line, stretching from elbow to wrist, to remind me that I will never be able to love you sober.
The blood is flowing now. I’ve gone far past the point of simple scratches and shallow cuts. This time I can actually feel my need for you flowing out of me in thick rivers of crimson. A sick part of me takes comfort in this knowledge. Maybe now I’ll finally be able to forget about you. Maybe now I’ll be able to put all of this behind me.
One splatter of blood, a perfect taint on the unsoiled floor, falls to the ground with a sound so soft I nearly miss it. One splatter is all it takes and I’ve forgotten. I’ve forgotten about you, I’ve forgotten about the pain, I’ve forgotten about the loneliness that’s eating away at my insides. One splatter and I’m left in silence.
And that’s all it takes, isn’t it? Just one little thing to make life okay again.
Am I the only one who's noticed that all of my prompts are really depressing? Haha.