irena_aneri
in
__vam
"Shadow Passion" Ch. 17
Title: Shadow Passion
Authors: 616hasgotaname and irena_aneri
Fandom: Music/VAM
Summary: Companion piece to "Kiss". AU. Two people brought together by an undying love that defies the ages. One, a vampire with a bizarre need for camaraderie, the other a human ostracized from an unforgiving mortal world. Separately, they are powerless and lonely. Together they are unstoppable.
Disclaimer: I DO OWN VILLE AND BAM! I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU SAY! *cough* Yeah, they own themselves. This never happened (der), so don't sue.
Rating: R to NC-17
Banner and links behind the cut.
Once again, this lovely banner was made by the amazingly talented annushkazhivago. Thanks again! <33
Previous Chapters
Chapter Seventeen
Trembling violently, Ville raised the dagger, watching it twinkle mockingly in the firelight. Tears were pouring down his beautiful face, mixing with the blood on his lips. "And to that mortal sin, I commit my soul." Ville whispered, his voice breaking as he tilted his head up, the point of the blade resting just beneath his Adam's apple. "Bam, forgive me..."
Ville struggled to keep his sobs in. He gripped the handle of the dagger tightly with both of his trembling hands and took one last, shuddering gasp, his grip on the weapon tightening. He felt it's blood-soaked tip prick his skin. He hesitated, pausing, when a very faint sound attracted his attention. He ignored it and dragged the dagger down his throat, testing himself, as the feeling of a papercut sliced the thin skin; not enough to do any real damage, but enough to cause him to whimper in pain and his hands to tremble.
He ran his thumb over the slight cut, feeling that it had barely healed over; it was sore to the touch. Again, he tilted his head back, for the final time, when yet another noise broke through the dark. He refused to acknowledge it.
'Forgive me...please.' He repeated, this time inside his mind, every particle of him hoping that somehow Bam would remember his last thoughts.
His hands were trembling even more violently, tears slipping down lunar colored flesh slowly. He placed the tip of the dagger again to the base of his Adam's apple. He had stopped whimpering now. He pushed the dagger in deeper, gasping as the pain scorched his nerves, yet again still not deep enough to cause death.
"I deserve this pain..." he whispered, dragging it down ward again, at an agonizingly slow pace. The pain increased until it became too much and the dagger fell to the floor. Wheezing, he clutched at his throat, feeling the blood pouring from the shallow wound.
He was weakening, the gorgeous torn flesh no longer healing instantaneously. With shaking hands, Ville picked the dagger up again, hardly being able to grasp it for more than a second. Hell was waiting.
'…Ville...'
Ville jumped, the dagger clattering to the floor. He wouldn't believe it. This wasn't happening. It was just his mind playing tricks on him, mocking him to the very end.
'...Ville...Ville I need you…'
He heard it, this time there was no doubt. Bam's voice floated through his mind, taking the breath from his chest and the fear from his body and replacing it with utter and complete shock. He wasn't dead?
Ville paused before tentatively reaching out with his own mind. He wanted to believe it was true, that he hadn't killed the one person in his life that had actually cared for him. Cared for him to the point of risking life itself.
'…Bammi?' he asked softly. He waited, oh how he strained his mind for a tendril of an answer. He was trembling, whiter than the moonlight filtering through the window. Seconds went by, and the vampire's last shred of hope faded.
'Ville..please…I need you.'
That was all it took. Pushing himself violently from the floor, Ville flung the door open, running flat out down the hallway and to the bathroom that he was sure Linde had taken Bam to.
His breath hitched in his throat as he burst through the door, a completely naked Bam, save for a towel, meeting his eyes. Ville's eyes traveled up and down the boy's body, the bruises and scratches blatantly obvious in the white light of the bathroom. The slight puncture wounds on Bam's hip were cleaned and a small Band-Aid had been applied.
The skater's neck was an entirely different story. The blood now cleaned away, a dark, spidery bruise clearly stood out against the pale pink of the gashes and bite marks. Ville let out a low hiss, tears pricking again at his eyes.
"What the fuck are you doing in here, Ville?" Came a cold voice. Ville jumped, for the first time noticing Linde, who was sitting on the sink at Bam's side, wrapping his freshly cleaned wrist in a crisp white gauze bandage. The blonde's stare held pure disgust.
Ville stammered, "H-he called for me. I…I didn't know what else to do." He finished lamely.
"Bullshit…he's not even conscious." Linde spat, securing the bandage in place with a section of medical tape. "And why the fuck is your neck bleeding?" he asked, gaping at Ville who turned away, eyes downcast. "Oh, Ville you didn't…"
A flame of anger ripped through Ville at the silent accusation. "And what would it matter to you, hmm?" he hissed venomously. "I'm not fucking lying about him calling for me, believe what you will. This is still my loft, and I will go where I please, Lilly." Ville growled, a hint of his old self shining through.
"Fine, you bastard, but if you so much as touch him I'll-" Linde said, all former remorse gone. But Ville cut him off, standing to his full height and stepping before the blonde menacingly.
"You'll what, Lilly?" He whispered darkly, both his gaze and tone deathly serious. Linde quailed. Fighting with a weakened, emotionally unstable Ville was one thing. Picking a fight with a pissed emotionally unstable Ville was another thing entirely.
The be-dreded blonde stood up abruptly, storming his way out of the bathroom and making sure to slam each and every door he walked through as he bitched his way through the suite.
Ville watched him go in silence, his eyes trained on the doorframe until he was sure Linde was out of hearing range. A few stray curse words echoed throughout the loft until silence once more befell the uncertain vampire, only the slight rumble of settling wood and a cackling fireplace meeting his ears. Picking nervously at the hem of his shirt, Ville turned around to face his fallen savior.
"Just look at you.." Ville said softly, now alone with Bam in the harsh light of the bathroom. The younger man was propped up on the loveseat next to the sink, a towel around his slim waist, pale chest rising and falling softly.
It appeared as though he were fast asleep, soft pink lips puckered slightly. But Ville knew otherwise. Tears once again running down his cheeks, Ville moved across the room, nothing more than a dark shadow against the stark tiling.
He knelt before Bam, reaching out a slender hand but only allowing it to hover above the skater's. Shivering, he let his hand fall, caressing Bam's hand softly in his own. The warm feel of it caused a sense of joy to surge through his system, it meant the boy was most definately alive.
Ville let out a gasp as Bam's fingers intertwined with his own, gripping them tightly. He glanced up quickly, seeing if Bam had awoken. But he was still fast asleep, the death-grip on the vampire's hand causing a small smirk to spread across his lips.
Another strangled sob tore itself from Ville's chest, flowing through the silent room like a tidal wave and crashing against each wall. Years spent in silence were nothing compared to this. He had never felt more alone.
Ville bent down slightly, his back arching in a skeletal manner as his spine pressed against thin skin. He ran his free hand accross Bam's forehead, swiping away a few strands of rogue hair, before placing a light kiss on the untainted flesh. In any fairy tale this would be the part where Bam's eyes opened, where the skater sat up quickly and embraced his lover in a tight hug. But this wasn't a fairy tale, it wasn't a children's story. Bam's eyes remained closed.
A loud crash reverberated through the walls, a physical sign that Linde was still tearing his way through the loft. Ville would have to deal with that later, but right now he didn't have the energy to move. The anger that he knew he should be feeling toward the pissed off blonde was nothing compared to the pain he felt inside.
"Haluta havahduttaa jalkeilla," Ville pleaded softly, not caring that the words were spoken in his native tongue. He knew that Bam couldn't hear him, the message was more for himself. With their fingers still entangled, Ville let his body slump to the floor beside the loveseat. His back remained propped against Bam's prone form, rising ever so slightly each time the skater took in a shuddering breath.
Ville found himself staring at the wall, counting the stone tiles as they stretched to their meeting place with deep purple paint. His eyes scanned the room as he tried to focus his attention on anything besides the man behind him. Just as he realized that he had never really stepped foot in this bathroom before, Ville felt the grip on his hand tighten.
A low moan drifted to his ears, followed by the sound of ruffling fabric. Quickly turning around, Ville's eyes connected with the most beautiful shade of blue he had ever seen before. He found himself staring, enraptured by the open eyes before him as if he didn't believe what he was seeing. Ville struggled to get his mouth to move, to say something, anything. When he found that he couldn't, he was more than thankful that Bam took the initiative upon himself.
"V-Ville?" That one name, whispered and raw from a mutilated throat, sent a shiver down the vampire's spine. Ville felt himself rushing to his feet, stumbling slightly as he tried to gain control over his body. His hand slipped, falling on the arm of the loveseat in order to keep his body ballanced. Bam looked up at him with pleading eyes, accentuated only by the blinding light around them. "W-What are you doing here?"
Ville stumbled slightly at the forwardness of the question, his eyes growing wide as he peered down at the injured boy before him. It seemed only logical that the question would come, but still it stung like acid. Ville didn't realize that a tear had escaped his eyes until Bam reached up a tentative hand, shaking slightly from the strain of movement. Calloused fingers from years of skateboarding carressed his cheek softly, wiping away the stray tear and returning the once angelic face to its formal glory. A soft smile wavered on Ville's lips for a fraction of a second before dissapearing.
Bam's hand kept it's place on the side of Ville's face, cupping his chin slightly in the palm of his hand. When the vampire jerked back slightly, the touch becoming too much to bear, Bam moved his hand to the back of his neck and pulled him close.
"Don't," he whispered, desperation evident in his voice. Ville couldn't ignore such powerful need, he knew what it felt like.
Leaning forward slightly, his lips grazing the side of Bam's cheek sensually, he replied, "I'm not going anywhere."
Ville's hand slid into place on Bam's chest, pressing down slightly as he leaned his weight on the skater. He placed an apologetic kiss over the messy puncture wounds, his eyes scrunching up as if in pain when Bam hissed at his touch. Nimble fingers danced up the side of the skater's bare ribs, tickling the toned flesh there and causing Bam to gasp. Licking his lips, making sure to run a wet tongue along Bam's earlobe, Ville whispered, "I'm so sorry for what I've done to you."
A nod of acceptance was his only answer. The vampire shivered at the sight of crystal tears falling from the skater's hurt eyes. "Please don't cry, love, I...I can't bear to see you cry. Not anymore," he soothed, earning a soft moan as his full lips brushed over Bam's. The boy whimpered slightly, tears continuing to fall at Ville's words.
"No tears, please...no more." He grazed the skater's bruised hips tenderly, his breathing increasing. "You're so beautiful, Bammi...I cannot express how terribly sorry I am...I..." Ville let the sentence fall as he realized nothing could ever, ever make up for what he had done. He winced when the blue eyed boy's grip tightened around his neck.
"I'd give you anything..." Bam whispered. Pulling Ville closer, he saw the tears brimming in the vampire's speechless eyes.
"You've given me everything..." Ville whispered back, closing the space between them and lightly touching his mouth to Bam's soft pink lips. He silently begged that the skater could find in his broken heart to forgive him. Bam let out a whimper as Ville pulled his lips back. He didn't deserve to kiss such a pure hearted soul.
He heard the boy's heartbeat. He felt the warm rush of blood underneath the thin skin of his abused neck. He wanted him...he regretted wasting their first time together. He'd not only raped the boy, he'd raped his soul. He could see it in his eyes. He would no longer touch him, he would leave his life, slipping out of his memory.
He was surprised when he felt a gentle squeeze on hand.
"Ville...please. Kiss me," Bam begged, eyes pleading as they searched Ville's. Ville laughed dryly, letting his tears fall.
"No."
He was taken aback by the hurt in the boys eyes. Even moreso when Bam forced his head down, crashing their lips together in an all-consuming kiss. The skater's tongue slid over the vampire's bottom lip, and out of pure shock, Ville's mouth fell open. Tentatively at first, Bam's tongue slipped into Ville's mouth, exploring gently. Ville let a low moan escape his throat when he felt the skater's hand massage circles into his lower back, tracing downward, running over his bum lightly.
They broke apart, Ville's eyes opening to Bam's, breathless.
"I...I thought I'd never get to do that again. I...I thought you were gone." Bam's voice broke as he ran his arm weakly up Ville's, cupping his cheek.
Ville knew. That feeling that had reared it's head was back, and this time Ville knew what it was. The pure trust and honesty in Bam's eyes tore at his heart, burying itself deep within his soul.
" I...Bam...I lo-" He said, cutting himself off as he realised what he was going to say.
Bam's eyes shot to his, begging.
"You what, Ville?"
He couldn't hurt him again. Not even if it meant his own heart again.
"Bam..." he drew a deep, shuddering breath, squeezing the boys hand tightly within his own. "Bam, I...I'm so sorry." He rushed, feeling the skater's hand go limp in his own. It was then that Bam's hand shifted slightly, one thumb dipping down to run over Ville's protruding Adam's Apple, the dissappointment clear as his eyes. His hand snapped back on instinct, eyes wide when he noticed the small amount of blood dribbling off the tip of his finger. Ville's eyes seemed to grow wide also, eyeing the monstrocity with an almost regrettful look.
"Ville, what is this?" Bam finally asked, unsure why he didn't notice the small cut before. Ville's eyes shifted to the ground as he pulled back slightly, one hand snaking up to cover the already exposed gash. When he provided no answer to Bam's question, the skater tried again. "Did I do this?"
"N-No!" Ville answered quickly, immediately wishing that he could take the stammered word back.
"Then...how'd this happen?" The question seemed so innocent and pure, and yet Ville couldn't provide an answer to it. It seemed to him more as if the skater was trying to push his buttons.
Ville was quickly growing annoyed by the myriad of quiestions, knowing that Bam was just falling back into old habbits. He searched his brain for a good lie, but came up empty-handed. He began to panic when he realized that he would have to tell the truth. However, despite knowing such, Ville couldn't get the words to leave his mouth.
Suddenly, the bathroom door was roughly thrown open, clattering against the tiled wall with so much force that Ville was sure something was broken. Green eyes snapped forward, catching a glimpse of Linde as he pushed into the room.
"I can't believe you can be such a selfish asshole, Ville," the blonde shouted angrily, not bothering to take in the now conscious Bam as he searched the cabinets for something. "Fucking trying to kill yourself. Who the hell do you think you are?"
Both men froze when a strangled gasp broke between them, one ushered from neither of their lips. They both turned to face a wide-eyed and frightened Bam, only one word, shocked, left his lips, "What?"
Ville's back arched dangerously as the question was uttered, his eyes snapping back to Linde as if searching for an answer. The blonde didn't provide one, instead he just stood there, mouth slightly open, as he tried to stammer a response.
"W-What I meant to say was..." he paused, eyes darting around the bathroom nervously. An epiphany seemed to dawn on him just then, his eyes growing wide and a confident smirk crossing his features. Turning to Ville, he growled, "Wait, why the hell am I trying to make excuses for your poor ass?" Linde didn't give the vampire a chance to answer, instead twirling around to face Bam. "You wanna' know about this so-called almighty vampire before you, kid? He's a weakling; a sorry excuse for a living creature, if you ask me."
"Linde, I really think you should keep your mouth shut--"
The blonde shot Ville a glare that definately said 'shut up', and Bam was surpised to see that Ville obeyed. "This fucker was going to kill himself...was going to leave you behind because he's not strong enough to deal with life's little problems!"
"You have no fucking clue what was going through my mind, Lily." Ville hissed, taking a step toward the blonde.
"Oh really?" Linde's words were coated with false concern, the the confidence in his voice dripping from his tongue like syrup. "Care to enlighten us, master?"
A low growl built up from Ville's throat then, a sound akin to that of a dog. Green eyes snapped to Bam, who had remained surprisngly silent throughout the whole ordeal. "Bam, you know I wouldn't do that..."
There was silence for a long moment, no one in the room daring to speak as they waited for the boy's response. Finally it came, blue eyes hooded over by a mass of curling brown hair, "Do I?" A defiant glare was in the skater's eyes, accentuating the dissapointment that had previously been there.
"I...well...Well, of course you do! You know that I would never leave you behind!" Ville stammered, worry evident in his face. He now knew that not only had he disappointed Bam, he'd angered him. His eyes darted between the two men sharing the bathroom with him, unsure of whom he should be speaking to.
"What did I tell you?" Linde laughed. "He really has no gospel to preach! He's just spitting out excuses! You know as well as I do, Bam, that Ville cares for nothing but himself! That mark on his neck should be proof enough! Oh, and let's not forget the way he fucking attacked you earlier!"
Everyone stilled at that last remark, even Linde. He knew that he had crossed a line, but there was no taking the words back. The only person willing to break the silence, strange enough, was Bam. "What's going on here?"
Two sets of eyes snapped toward the skater, a simultanious shout coming from both Linde and Ville. "Shut up!"
Bam pushed himself back against the loveseat, too afraid to speak up again. Turning a spectator's eye to the scene before him, the skater watched the argument unfold again.
"You know what you are, Ville? You're just a pathetic pedophile, a fucking rapist! Someone too immature to deal with men his own age that has to go after high school boys. What the fuck is wrong with you?" Linde shouted, red in the face once more. "And you couldn't even handle that, could you? No, you had to attempt fucking suicide!"
"Who the fuck do you think you are?" Ville yelled back, trying to mask the hurt he felt with rage. "What do you think I keep you around for? Fucking screaming your head off like a little bitch?"
He knew that the taunt was unaffective, but Ville could come up with no further words. His mind was racing as Linde took an angry step forward, blue eyes clouded over with hatred. "Not only am I here to pick up your fucking peices every single time you break your pathetic heart, I'm here for your desperate sexual binges."
"Linde, shut up."
"No! I've let you! I've let you take soul after soul and not said a word! I've let you kiss me! I've given you my body, and my protection!"
Bam's eyes widened at the emotional venom Linde was spitting at Ville. 'You've fucked him?' he thought angrily, staring at Ville. Ville blushed even in his anger.
"Lilly, stop, now." Ville's voice was heavy and laced with anger.
"No! Fuck you, Ville. I'm not doing it anymore. I won't stay quiet and watch you play with his emotions like you've done mine." The passionate statement rolled off Linde's tongue, biting deep into Ville.
Silent tears dripped from Bam's eyes, Ville saw them out of the corner of his vision.
Linde opened his mouth to speak again. "Never again! Not anymore, Ville, I won't let you do this to him like the others, I wo-"
"STOP IT!" Ville screamed, tears now streaming down his reddened face. "STOP IT, LILLY, HE'S DIFFERENT! IT'S DIFFERENT THIS TIME!"
"BULLSHIT, VALO, YOU'VE SAID THAT BEFORE, WHY SHOULD I, OR HE FOR THAT MATTER, BELIEVE YOU NOW?" Linde shouted, equally loud and pink in the face.
"BECAUSE I FUCKING LOVE HIM, OKAY?"
Only deafening silence followed. Once again, it was Bam who broke it. His voice was cold, dripping with anger and hurt. "No. Linde's right, Ville. You're nothing but a pathetic, twisted liar."
And with that, Bam stood, wrapping the towel firmly around his slim waist, and walked out of the room, leaving the two men alone, one stunned beyond words, one's heart torn in two.
*--===--===<><><><><><><><><><>-===--===--*
So, there's chapter 17 for you folks. Here's hoping you don't shoot us again for the cliffhanger. ~Irena
Authors: 616hasgotaname and irena_aneri
Fandom: Music/VAM
Summary: Companion piece to "Kiss". AU. Two people brought together by an undying love that defies the ages. One, a vampire with a bizarre need for camaraderie, the other a human ostracized from an unforgiving mortal world. Separately, they are powerless and lonely. Together they are unstoppable.
Disclaimer: I DO OWN VILLE AND BAM! I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU SAY! *cough* Yeah, they own themselves. This never happened (der), so don't sue.
Rating: R to NC-17
Banner and links behind the cut.
Once again, this lovely banner was made by the amazingly talented annushkazhivago. Thanks again! <33
Previous Chapters
Chapter Seventeen
Trembling violently, Ville raised the dagger, watching it twinkle mockingly in the firelight. Tears were pouring down his beautiful face, mixing with the blood on his lips. "And to that mortal sin, I commit my soul." Ville whispered, his voice breaking as he tilted his head up, the point of the blade resting just beneath his Adam's apple. "Bam, forgive me..."
Ville struggled to keep his sobs in. He gripped the handle of the dagger tightly with both of his trembling hands and took one last, shuddering gasp, his grip on the weapon tightening. He felt it's blood-soaked tip prick his skin. He hesitated, pausing, when a very faint sound attracted his attention. He ignored it and dragged the dagger down his throat, testing himself, as the feeling of a papercut sliced the thin skin; not enough to do any real damage, but enough to cause him to whimper in pain and his hands to tremble.
He ran his thumb over the slight cut, feeling that it had barely healed over; it was sore to the touch. Again, he tilted his head back, for the final time, when yet another noise broke through the dark. He refused to acknowledge it.
'Forgive me...please.' He repeated, this time inside his mind, every particle of him hoping that somehow Bam would remember his last thoughts.
His hands were trembling even more violently, tears slipping down lunar colored flesh slowly. He placed the tip of the dagger again to the base of his Adam's apple. He had stopped whimpering now. He pushed the dagger in deeper, gasping as the pain scorched his nerves, yet again still not deep enough to cause death.
"I deserve this pain..." he whispered, dragging it down ward again, at an agonizingly slow pace. The pain increased until it became too much and the dagger fell to the floor. Wheezing, he clutched at his throat, feeling the blood pouring from the shallow wound.
He was weakening, the gorgeous torn flesh no longer healing instantaneously. With shaking hands, Ville picked the dagger up again, hardly being able to grasp it for more than a second. Hell was waiting.
'…Ville...'
Ville jumped, the dagger clattering to the floor. He wouldn't believe it. This wasn't happening. It was just his mind playing tricks on him, mocking him to the very end.
'...Ville...Ville I need you…'
He heard it, this time there was no doubt. Bam's voice floated through his mind, taking the breath from his chest and the fear from his body and replacing it with utter and complete shock. He wasn't dead?
Ville paused before tentatively reaching out with his own mind. He wanted to believe it was true, that he hadn't killed the one person in his life that had actually cared for him. Cared for him to the point of risking life itself.
'…Bammi?' he asked softly. He waited, oh how he strained his mind for a tendril of an answer. He was trembling, whiter than the moonlight filtering through the window. Seconds went by, and the vampire's last shred of hope faded.
'Ville..please…I need you.'
That was all it took. Pushing himself violently from the floor, Ville flung the door open, running flat out down the hallway and to the bathroom that he was sure Linde had taken Bam to.
His breath hitched in his throat as he burst through the door, a completely naked Bam, save for a towel, meeting his eyes. Ville's eyes traveled up and down the boy's body, the bruises and scratches blatantly obvious in the white light of the bathroom. The slight puncture wounds on Bam's hip were cleaned and a small Band-Aid had been applied.
The skater's neck was an entirely different story. The blood now cleaned away, a dark, spidery bruise clearly stood out against the pale pink of the gashes and bite marks. Ville let out a low hiss, tears pricking again at his eyes.
"What the fuck are you doing in here, Ville?" Came a cold voice. Ville jumped, for the first time noticing Linde, who was sitting on the sink at Bam's side, wrapping his freshly cleaned wrist in a crisp white gauze bandage. The blonde's stare held pure disgust.
Ville stammered, "H-he called for me. I…I didn't know what else to do." He finished lamely.
"Bullshit…he's not even conscious." Linde spat, securing the bandage in place with a section of medical tape. "And why the fuck is your neck bleeding?" he asked, gaping at Ville who turned away, eyes downcast. "Oh, Ville you didn't…"
A flame of anger ripped through Ville at the silent accusation. "And what would it matter to you, hmm?" he hissed venomously. "I'm not fucking lying about him calling for me, believe what you will. This is still my loft, and I will go where I please, Lilly." Ville growled, a hint of his old self shining through.
"Fine, you bastard, but if you so much as touch him I'll-" Linde said, all former remorse gone. But Ville cut him off, standing to his full height and stepping before the blonde menacingly.
"You'll what, Lilly?" He whispered darkly, both his gaze and tone deathly serious. Linde quailed. Fighting with a weakened, emotionally unstable Ville was one thing. Picking a fight with a pissed emotionally unstable Ville was another thing entirely.
The be-dreded blonde stood up abruptly, storming his way out of the bathroom and making sure to slam each and every door he walked through as he bitched his way through the suite.
Ville watched him go in silence, his eyes trained on the doorframe until he was sure Linde was out of hearing range. A few stray curse words echoed throughout the loft until silence once more befell the uncertain vampire, only the slight rumble of settling wood and a cackling fireplace meeting his ears. Picking nervously at the hem of his shirt, Ville turned around to face his fallen savior.
"Just look at you.." Ville said softly, now alone with Bam in the harsh light of the bathroom. The younger man was propped up on the loveseat next to the sink, a towel around his slim waist, pale chest rising and falling softly.
It appeared as though he were fast asleep, soft pink lips puckered slightly. But Ville knew otherwise. Tears once again running down his cheeks, Ville moved across the room, nothing more than a dark shadow against the stark tiling.
He knelt before Bam, reaching out a slender hand but only allowing it to hover above the skater's. Shivering, he let his hand fall, caressing Bam's hand softly in his own. The warm feel of it caused a sense of joy to surge through his system, it meant the boy was most definately alive.
Ville let out a gasp as Bam's fingers intertwined with his own, gripping them tightly. He glanced up quickly, seeing if Bam had awoken. But he was still fast asleep, the death-grip on the vampire's hand causing a small smirk to spread across his lips.
Another strangled sob tore itself from Ville's chest, flowing through the silent room like a tidal wave and crashing against each wall. Years spent in silence were nothing compared to this. He had never felt more alone.
Ville bent down slightly, his back arching in a skeletal manner as his spine pressed against thin skin. He ran his free hand accross Bam's forehead, swiping away a few strands of rogue hair, before placing a light kiss on the untainted flesh. In any fairy tale this would be the part where Bam's eyes opened, where the skater sat up quickly and embraced his lover in a tight hug. But this wasn't a fairy tale, it wasn't a children's story. Bam's eyes remained closed.
A loud crash reverberated through the walls, a physical sign that Linde was still tearing his way through the loft. Ville would have to deal with that later, but right now he didn't have the energy to move. The anger that he knew he should be feeling toward the pissed off blonde was nothing compared to the pain he felt inside.
"Haluta havahduttaa jalkeilla," Ville pleaded softly, not caring that the words were spoken in his native tongue. He knew that Bam couldn't hear him, the message was more for himself. With their fingers still entangled, Ville let his body slump to the floor beside the loveseat. His back remained propped against Bam's prone form, rising ever so slightly each time the skater took in a shuddering breath.
Ville found himself staring at the wall, counting the stone tiles as they stretched to their meeting place with deep purple paint. His eyes scanned the room as he tried to focus his attention on anything besides the man behind him. Just as he realized that he had never really stepped foot in this bathroom before, Ville felt the grip on his hand tighten.
A low moan drifted to his ears, followed by the sound of ruffling fabric. Quickly turning around, Ville's eyes connected with the most beautiful shade of blue he had ever seen before. He found himself staring, enraptured by the open eyes before him as if he didn't believe what he was seeing. Ville struggled to get his mouth to move, to say something, anything. When he found that he couldn't, he was more than thankful that Bam took the initiative upon himself.
"V-Ville?" That one name, whispered and raw from a mutilated throat, sent a shiver down the vampire's spine. Ville felt himself rushing to his feet, stumbling slightly as he tried to gain control over his body. His hand slipped, falling on the arm of the loveseat in order to keep his body ballanced. Bam looked up at him with pleading eyes, accentuated only by the blinding light around them. "W-What are you doing here?"
Ville stumbled slightly at the forwardness of the question, his eyes growing wide as he peered down at the injured boy before him. It seemed only logical that the question would come, but still it stung like acid. Ville didn't realize that a tear had escaped his eyes until Bam reached up a tentative hand, shaking slightly from the strain of movement. Calloused fingers from years of skateboarding carressed his cheek softly, wiping away the stray tear and returning the once angelic face to its formal glory. A soft smile wavered on Ville's lips for a fraction of a second before dissapearing.
Bam's hand kept it's place on the side of Ville's face, cupping his chin slightly in the palm of his hand. When the vampire jerked back slightly, the touch becoming too much to bear, Bam moved his hand to the back of his neck and pulled him close.
"Don't," he whispered, desperation evident in his voice. Ville couldn't ignore such powerful need, he knew what it felt like.
Leaning forward slightly, his lips grazing the side of Bam's cheek sensually, he replied, "I'm not going anywhere."
Ville's hand slid into place on Bam's chest, pressing down slightly as he leaned his weight on the skater. He placed an apologetic kiss over the messy puncture wounds, his eyes scrunching up as if in pain when Bam hissed at his touch. Nimble fingers danced up the side of the skater's bare ribs, tickling the toned flesh there and causing Bam to gasp. Licking his lips, making sure to run a wet tongue along Bam's earlobe, Ville whispered, "I'm so sorry for what I've done to you."
A nod of acceptance was his only answer. The vampire shivered at the sight of crystal tears falling from the skater's hurt eyes. "Please don't cry, love, I...I can't bear to see you cry. Not anymore," he soothed, earning a soft moan as his full lips brushed over Bam's. The boy whimpered slightly, tears continuing to fall at Ville's words.
"No tears, please...no more." He grazed the skater's bruised hips tenderly, his breathing increasing. "You're so beautiful, Bammi...I cannot express how terribly sorry I am...I..." Ville let the sentence fall as he realized nothing could ever, ever make up for what he had done. He winced when the blue eyed boy's grip tightened around his neck.
"I'd give you anything..." Bam whispered. Pulling Ville closer, he saw the tears brimming in the vampire's speechless eyes.
"You've given me everything..." Ville whispered back, closing the space between them and lightly touching his mouth to Bam's soft pink lips. He silently begged that the skater could find in his broken heart to forgive him. Bam let out a whimper as Ville pulled his lips back. He didn't deserve to kiss such a pure hearted soul.
He heard the boy's heartbeat. He felt the warm rush of blood underneath the thin skin of his abused neck. He wanted him...he regretted wasting their first time together. He'd not only raped the boy, he'd raped his soul. He could see it in his eyes. He would no longer touch him, he would leave his life, slipping out of his memory.
He was surprised when he felt a gentle squeeze on hand.
"Ville...please. Kiss me," Bam begged, eyes pleading as they searched Ville's. Ville laughed dryly, letting his tears fall.
"No."
He was taken aback by the hurt in the boys eyes. Even moreso when Bam forced his head down, crashing their lips together in an all-consuming kiss. The skater's tongue slid over the vampire's bottom lip, and out of pure shock, Ville's mouth fell open. Tentatively at first, Bam's tongue slipped into Ville's mouth, exploring gently. Ville let a low moan escape his throat when he felt the skater's hand massage circles into his lower back, tracing downward, running over his bum lightly.
They broke apart, Ville's eyes opening to Bam's, breathless.
"I...I thought I'd never get to do that again. I...I thought you were gone." Bam's voice broke as he ran his arm weakly up Ville's, cupping his cheek.
Ville knew. That feeling that had reared it's head was back, and this time Ville knew what it was. The pure trust and honesty in Bam's eyes tore at his heart, burying itself deep within his soul.
" I...Bam...I lo-" He said, cutting himself off as he realised what he was going to say.
Bam's eyes shot to his, begging.
"You what, Ville?"
He couldn't hurt him again. Not even if it meant his own heart again.
"Bam..." he drew a deep, shuddering breath, squeezing the boys hand tightly within his own. "Bam, I...I'm so sorry." He rushed, feeling the skater's hand go limp in his own. It was then that Bam's hand shifted slightly, one thumb dipping down to run over Ville's protruding Adam's Apple, the dissappointment clear as his eyes. His hand snapped back on instinct, eyes wide when he noticed the small amount of blood dribbling off the tip of his finger. Ville's eyes seemed to grow wide also, eyeing the monstrocity with an almost regrettful look.
"Ville, what is this?" Bam finally asked, unsure why he didn't notice the small cut before. Ville's eyes shifted to the ground as he pulled back slightly, one hand snaking up to cover the already exposed gash. When he provided no answer to Bam's question, the skater tried again. "Did I do this?"
"N-No!" Ville answered quickly, immediately wishing that he could take the stammered word back.
"Then...how'd this happen?" The question seemed so innocent and pure, and yet Ville couldn't provide an answer to it. It seemed to him more as if the skater was trying to push his buttons.
Ville was quickly growing annoyed by the myriad of quiestions, knowing that Bam was just falling back into old habbits. He searched his brain for a good lie, but came up empty-handed. He began to panic when he realized that he would have to tell the truth. However, despite knowing such, Ville couldn't get the words to leave his mouth.
Suddenly, the bathroom door was roughly thrown open, clattering against the tiled wall with so much force that Ville was sure something was broken. Green eyes snapped forward, catching a glimpse of Linde as he pushed into the room.
"I can't believe you can be such a selfish asshole, Ville," the blonde shouted angrily, not bothering to take in the now conscious Bam as he searched the cabinets for something. "Fucking trying to kill yourself. Who the hell do you think you are?"
Both men froze when a strangled gasp broke between them, one ushered from neither of their lips. They both turned to face a wide-eyed and frightened Bam, only one word, shocked, left his lips, "What?"
Ville's back arched dangerously as the question was uttered, his eyes snapping back to Linde as if searching for an answer. The blonde didn't provide one, instead he just stood there, mouth slightly open, as he tried to stammer a response.
"W-What I meant to say was..." he paused, eyes darting around the bathroom nervously. An epiphany seemed to dawn on him just then, his eyes growing wide and a confident smirk crossing his features. Turning to Ville, he growled, "Wait, why the hell am I trying to make excuses for your poor ass?" Linde didn't give the vampire a chance to answer, instead twirling around to face Bam. "You wanna' know about this so-called almighty vampire before you, kid? He's a weakling; a sorry excuse for a living creature, if you ask me."
"Linde, I really think you should keep your mouth shut--"
The blonde shot Ville a glare that definately said 'shut up', and Bam was surpised to see that Ville obeyed. "This fucker was going to kill himself...was going to leave you behind because he's not strong enough to deal with life's little problems!"
"You have no fucking clue what was going through my mind, Lily." Ville hissed, taking a step toward the blonde.
"Oh really?" Linde's words were coated with false concern, the the confidence in his voice dripping from his tongue like syrup. "Care to enlighten us, master?"
A low growl built up from Ville's throat then, a sound akin to that of a dog. Green eyes snapped to Bam, who had remained surprisngly silent throughout the whole ordeal. "Bam, you know I wouldn't do that..."
There was silence for a long moment, no one in the room daring to speak as they waited for the boy's response. Finally it came, blue eyes hooded over by a mass of curling brown hair, "Do I?" A defiant glare was in the skater's eyes, accentuating the dissapointment that had previously been there.
"I...well...Well, of course you do! You know that I would never leave you behind!" Ville stammered, worry evident in his face. He now knew that not only had he disappointed Bam, he'd angered him. His eyes darted between the two men sharing the bathroom with him, unsure of whom he should be speaking to.
"What did I tell you?" Linde laughed. "He really has no gospel to preach! He's just spitting out excuses! You know as well as I do, Bam, that Ville cares for nothing but himself! That mark on his neck should be proof enough! Oh, and let's not forget the way he fucking attacked you earlier!"
Everyone stilled at that last remark, even Linde. He knew that he had crossed a line, but there was no taking the words back. The only person willing to break the silence, strange enough, was Bam. "What's going on here?"
Two sets of eyes snapped toward the skater, a simultanious shout coming from both Linde and Ville. "Shut up!"
Bam pushed himself back against the loveseat, too afraid to speak up again. Turning a spectator's eye to the scene before him, the skater watched the argument unfold again.
"You know what you are, Ville? You're just a pathetic pedophile, a fucking rapist! Someone too immature to deal with men his own age that has to go after high school boys. What the fuck is wrong with you?" Linde shouted, red in the face once more. "And you couldn't even handle that, could you? No, you had to attempt fucking suicide!"
"Who the fuck do you think you are?" Ville yelled back, trying to mask the hurt he felt with rage. "What do you think I keep you around for? Fucking screaming your head off like a little bitch?"
He knew that the taunt was unaffective, but Ville could come up with no further words. His mind was racing as Linde took an angry step forward, blue eyes clouded over with hatred. "Not only am I here to pick up your fucking peices every single time you break your pathetic heart, I'm here for your desperate sexual binges."
"Linde, shut up."
"No! I've let you! I've let you take soul after soul and not said a word! I've let you kiss me! I've given you my body, and my protection!"
Bam's eyes widened at the emotional venom Linde was spitting at Ville. 'You've fucked him?' he thought angrily, staring at Ville. Ville blushed even in his anger.
"Lilly, stop, now." Ville's voice was heavy and laced with anger.
"No! Fuck you, Ville. I'm not doing it anymore. I won't stay quiet and watch you play with his emotions like you've done mine." The passionate statement rolled off Linde's tongue, biting deep into Ville.
Silent tears dripped from Bam's eyes, Ville saw them out of the corner of his vision.
Linde opened his mouth to speak again. "Never again! Not anymore, Ville, I won't let you do this to him like the others, I wo-"
"STOP IT!" Ville screamed, tears now streaming down his reddened face. "STOP IT, LILLY, HE'S DIFFERENT! IT'S DIFFERENT THIS TIME!"
"BULLSHIT, VALO, YOU'VE SAID THAT BEFORE, WHY SHOULD I, OR HE FOR THAT MATTER, BELIEVE YOU NOW?" Linde shouted, equally loud and pink in the face.
"BECAUSE I FUCKING LOVE HIM, OKAY?"
Only deafening silence followed. Once again, it was Bam who broke it. His voice was cold, dripping with anger and hurt. "No. Linde's right, Ville. You're nothing but a pathetic, twisted liar."
And with that, Bam stood, wrapping the towel firmly around his slim waist, and walked out of the room, leaving the two men alone, one stunned beyond words, one's heart torn in two.
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So, there's chapter 17 for you folks. Here's hoping you don't shoot us again for the cliffhanger. ~Irena