Our heaven is worth the waiting - Chapter 7
"Miss you already"
"Miss you too"
"Sorry about not being able to pick up last night, got shit faced and couldn't hear it ring"
"Bam it's fine honestly"
For three hours the lovers exchanged words, nothing of importance, just anything to hear each other's voices and to make one another laugh. Both finding it equally hard to get on with life how it was before.
Love has a funny way of disrupting your life at the most unexpected times. Ville contemplated this idea, scribbling his feelings down as he spoke to Bam, random words that entered his head, waiting to be involved into the lyricist's career.
They both vowed to stay in touch more regularly and then parted ways, in attempt to rejoin the normal realm of things.
Ville put the phone down and strolled towards the kitchen to make another cup of coffee, putting water into the kettle and switching it on, a shrill rang came from the behind him. Walking to the phone he answered it with curiosity:
"Fuck it Willa, I lied. I'm not fine, I don't miss you, I crave for you and your touch, your arms around me, your lips caressing my body, your petite muscles flexing. You've been gone a day and it feels like a lifetime. I can't look at Jenn in the same way, I just wish for you all the time, and that phone call was the hardest thing I've ever had to try and keep the tears back in my life." Bam finally paused. Silence filled the line. "Willa?...Ville talk to me...please?"
"...Sorry it was just a lot to take in Bam, but you know there is nothing I can four thousand miles away. Why did you have to say it Bam, why?"
"I...I just needed to be honest"
"What about what I need Bam? You think this isn't killing me, even though we've hardly been apart 2 days?"
"Ville, I'm sorry I didn't think. All I can think about is needing to see you again"
"Me too, but you know it can't be like that. We had to make that last night final so we knew it couldn't go on"
"Ville, please. How can you be strong?"
"Bam, we are not going into this. I go on tour next month; you know the dates you can make it. I'll see you then and not before."
With that Ville hung up. The rocker slammed the phone down next to his form sitting against the kitchen wall.
He wasn't being strong, he was being sensible, being strong never entered the matter, he couldn't be strong when it came to Bam; he was his favourite weakness. Cigarettes even came a second. Bam knew that really.
Life had to go on.
*****
The sound of zips resonated the walls of the Finnish tower. The tour was beginning, excitedly Ville made his way outside to meet the others on the bus, the parties would begin, so would the drinking, so would the forgetting.
He jumped onto the bus and waited for the adventures the tour was sure to bring.
Making himself comfortable in his bunk Ville's phone rang continuously like it always did at the beginning of a tour, managers, producers, friends and family all wanting to speak to him for some reason or another, yet he didn't expect to see Bam's name on the caller ID, especially after his harsh words last time they spoke:
"Hello?"
"Hey Ville...I'm sorry about upsetting you the other week. I was just really emotional."
"It's okay, I was going to say the same. So you don't hate me?"
"No, of course not. I didn't want to ring before the tour incase you were still mad. Am I still okay to see you at the end of the month?"
"Sorry for snapping Bammie. Yeah it's fine, you know the dates still?"
"Yeap, memorised of course"
"Good! Well I've got another call, got to get it, see you then Bam, missing you."
Bam knew the line was dead and he wasn't giving the chance to reply yet he still said to the spiritless tone:
"Missing you too, more than you'll ever know."
*****
The vividly animated lights shone down over the five rock stars illuminating them in all their musical splendour. Burton tapped his ebony and ivory keys with a majestic manner, Gas sweated his heart over his prized kit, rocking as hard as he could in the moment, Linde assaulted the strings on his guitar to send shivers down the audience’s spine, Mige following in this transit, bobbing his growing hair across his face in approval. Then Ville, he sang, he screamed, belting out every note in each of his encrypted lyrics, he sweated, he stripped, they all screamed. Sweat glistened on his well-formed chest and he gave it all he could give.
After the show, Ville bounded off the stage and into the arms of Bam:
"Finally! Come on let's go."
"Wait Bam, I need a shower, look at me."
"I've been doing that for past 2 hours. You can shower at the hotel can't you, it isn't far?"
Pulling away from Bam's grasp to look at his face: "Not planning to get pissed?"
"No" With no further explanation Bam pulled Ville out of the venue, into the nearby car and to the hotel.
Retrieving their key from the desk they made their way up to their room. Sharing wasn't uncommon so they knew the band wouldn't think anything of it.
Walking along the silent corridor Ville gripped Bam's hand in his. They both smiled, content with the connection. Reaching the designated door, Ville stopped and turned to look at Bam, key in hand ready to open the door:
"Bam, you know-"
"Ville, I know. What happens behind this door stays there. No me being a soppy bastard again."
With that confirmation Ville opened the door, Bam following, then closing it quickly behind them. Bam rushed into Ville's embrace, lips touching gently, he managed to whisper:
"Please Ville, I need this."
Ville lead him towards to the two beds, picking the one closest to the window. He heard Bam sighed and questioned him:
"Well it's a single bed. I feel like a naughty teenager again."
Smiling at his immaturity Ville turned: "It's that or get caught Bammie boy. Now get stripping."
Both of their clothes were lost hastily and they were quickly found making the best situation out of small bed. Ville had Bam straddled, letting one another's hands roam free, feeling the expanse of perspirating unwashed skin:
"Bam, please tell me you have stuff?"
The American's face dropped to an expression of severe disappointment: "Well I thought you would, with having a case and that?"
"It's still on the bus" Ville drew back to take another look at Bam.
Leaning down, Bam lifted his jeans up off the floor, rummaging in his pockets: "I guess we'll just have to use these then." Throwing the supplies to the man on top of him.
"You fucking asshole!" Returning the supplies in the direction of Bam's straightening body.
"Soon, Willa, soon."
They both laughed and continued their heated session of making out.
"Bam, I need this too." The comical expression erased from the Finn's face, now his eyes were filled with lust, matching the ones of his lover beneath him. Bam took the lubricant and Ville took the condom, opening it and rolling it down Bam's shaft. Bam opened the lubricant and smeared a generous amount over Ville's entrance and his fingers.
"You want to stay on top for this?"
"Yeah, just do it"
Bam entered Ville's entrance with a gently push of his finger, attempting to relax the tense muscle. Kneeling, the rocker's head hung low, his dusky curls wrapping themselves across his face:
"Too long" Ville whispered.
"Only just under a month, Ville"
"Still too fucking long, Bam"
Bam added a second finger and scissored, now starting to stretch the muscle, earning deep moan from the Finn above him. Ville looked up into deep blue eyes and found himself lost and mesmerised in the love that seemed to fill them.
Finally adding the third finger Bam achieved a pained groan, worry suddenly crossing those love filled eyes. Ville assured him it was okay just by gentle glances. With a small amount of reluctance Ville spoke:
"Darling, I'm ready."
Feeling more confident Ville rolled off Bam's form and pulled him on top of him. Bam reached to the lubricant packet once more, liberally coating his length before aligning himself with Ville's subtly relaxed entrance.
"Sure?"
"Yes"
Bam moved slowly forward and tensed as his lover hissed in obvious pain. Once he had fully entered he stopped, waiting for his lover to open his clenched eyes, after waiting a few worrying minutes he asked:
"You want me to stop?"
"No, I was stupid to think it wouldn't hurt as much as last time. Just gimme a minute." Ville opened his eyes and smiled uncomfortably at the skater. He adjusted his hips and lifted his legs to wrap around Bam's waist, now urging movement. Bam took a gently, steady pace which they both complimented. Within minutes both of them were moaning loudly against each other, caressing one another's bodies and sharing sloppy kisses:
"Bammie...I'm close...touch me...need to come...with you." Ville panted.
Bam grasped Ville's large length and hurriedly glided his hand up and down it, so close to release he was losing the steady rhythm. Synchronised shaking signalled the end was near. Both roaring each other's name. Ville came beneath both of their bodies; Bam never caring for mess, lay down on his lover's body, spent. They lay together in a loving embrace before showering and returning to sit on the ends of their separated beds.
"Ville, don't make me sleep alone."
"Come here" He gripped Bam in his arms and laid them both back onto the small mattress. "I wouldn't dare"
"Thank you. It's just...I need this connection Ville"
"Me too. It's okay to be human once in a while"
"I love you"
"I love you too"
With final words of reassurance they let their senses sooth each other, Ville silently surprised at Bam's weakness, but glad of it nonetheless. Glad he knew he wasn't the only one who felt that way. They held each as they drifted into their first peaceful and content sleep they had both had in nearly a month.
"Miss you too"
"Sorry about not being able to pick up last night, got shit faced and couldn't hear it ring"
"Bam it's fine honestly"
For three hours the lovers exchanged words, nothing of importance, just anything to hear each other's voices and to make one another laugh. Both finding it equally hard to get on with life how it was before.
Love has a funny way of disrupting your life at the most unexpected times. Ville contemplated this idea, scribbling his feelings down as he spoke to Bam, random words that entered his head, waiting to be involved into the lyricist's career.
They both vowed to stay in touch more regularly and then parted ways, in attempt to rejoin the normal realm of things.
Ville put the phone down and strolled towards the kitchen to make another cup of coffee, putting water into the kettle and switching it on, a shrill rang came from the behind him. Walking to the phone he answered it with curiosity:
"Fuck it Willa, I lied. I'm not fine, I don't miss you, I crave for you and your touch, your arms around me, your lips caressing my body, your petite muscles flexing. You've been gone a day and it feels like a lifetime. I can't look at Jenn in the same way, I just wish for you all the time, and that phone call was the hardest thing I've ever had to try and keep the tears back in my life." Bam finally paused. Silence filled the line. "Willa?...Ville talk to me...please?"
"...Sorry it was just a lot to take in Bam, but you know there is nothing I can four thousand miles away. Why did you have to say it Bam, why?"
"I...I just needed to be honest"
"What about what I need Bam? You think this isn't killing me, even though we've hardly been apart 2 days?"
"Ville, I'm sorry I didn't think. All I can think about is needing to see you again"
"Me too, but you know it can't be like that. We had to make that last night final so we knew it couldn't go on"
"Ville, please. How can you be strong?"
"Bam, we are not going into this. I go on tour next month; you know the dates you can make it. I'll see you then and not before."
With that Ville hung up. The rocker slammed the phone down next to his form sitting against the kitchen wall.
He wasn't being strong, he was being sensible, being strong never entered the matter, he couldn't be strong when it came to Bam; he was his favourite weakness. Cigarettes even came a second. Bam knew that really.
Life had to go on.
*****
The sound of zips resonated the walls of the Finnish tower. The tour was beginning, excitedly Ville made his way outside to meet the others on the bus, the parties would begin, so would the drinking, so would the forgetting.
He jumped onto the bus and waited for the adventures the tour was sure to bring.
Making himself comfortable in his bunk Ville's phone rang continuously like it always did at the beginning of a tour, managers, producers, friends and family all wanting to speak to him for some reason or another, yet he didn't expect to see Bam's name on the caller ID, especially after his harsh words last time they spoke:
"Hello?"
"Hey Ville...I'm sorry about upsetting you the other week. I was just really emotional."
"It's okay, I was going to say the same. So you don't hate me?"
"No, of course not. I didn't want to ring before the tour incase you were still mad. Am I still okay to see you at the end of the month?"
"Sorry for snapping Bammie. Yeah it's fine, you know the dates still?"
"Yeap, memorised of course"
"Good! Well I've got another call, got to get it, see you then Bam, missing you."
Bam knew the line was dead and he wasn't giving the chance to reply yet he still said to the spiritless tone:
"Missing you too, more than you'll ever know."
*****
The vividly animated lights shone down over the five rock stars illuminating them in all their musical splendour. Burton tapped his ebony and ivory keys with a majestic manner, Gas sweated his heart over his prized kit, rocking as hard as he could in the moment, Linde assaulted the strings on his guitar to send shivers down the audience’s spine, Mige following in this transit, bobbing his growing hair across his face in approval. Then Ville, he sang, he screamed, belting out every note in each of his encrypted lyrics, he sweated, he stripped, they all screamed. Sweat glistened on his well-formed chest and he gave it all he could give.
After the show, Ville bounded off the stage and into the arms of Bam:
"Finally! Come on let's go."
"Wait Bam, I need a shower, look at me."
"I've been doing that for past 2 hours. You can shower at the hotel can't you, it isn't far?"
Pulling away from Bam's grasp to look at his face: "Not planning to get pissed?"
"No" With no further explanation Bam pulled Ville out of the venue, into the nearby car and to the hotel.
Retrieving their key from the desk they made their way up to their room. Sharing wasn't uncommon so they knew the band wouldn't think anything of it.
Walking along the silent corridor Ville gripped Bam's hand in his. They both smiled, content with the connection. Reaching the designated door, Ville stopped and turned to look at Bam, key in hand ready to open the door:
"Bam, you know-"
"Ville, I know. What happens behind this door stays there. No me being a soppy bastard again."
With that confirmation Ville opened the door, Bam following, then closing it quickly behind them. Bam rushed into Ville's embrace, lips touching gently, he managed to whisper:
"Please Ville, I need this."
Ville lead him towards to the two beds, picking the one closest to the window. He heard Bam sighed and questioned him:
"Well it's a single bed. I feel like a naughty teenager again."
Smiling at his immaturity Ville turned: "It's that or get caught Bammie boy. Now get stripping."
Both of their clothes were lost hastily and they were quickly found making the best situation out of small bed. Ville had Bam straddled, letting one another's hands roam free, feeling the expanse of perspirating unwashed skin:
"Bam, please tell me you have stuff?"
The American's face dropped to an expression of severe disappointment: "Well I thought you would, with having a case and that?"
"It's still on the bus" Ville drew back to take another look at Bam.
Leaning down, Bam lifted his jeans up off the floor, rummaging in his pockets: "I guess we'll just have to use these then." Throwing the supplies to the man on top of him.
"You fucking asshole!" Returning the supplies in the direction of Bam's straightening body.
"Soon, Willa, soon."
They both laughed and continued their heated session of making out.
"Bam, I need this too." The comical expression erased from the Finn's face, now his eyes were filled with lust, matching the ones of his lover beneath him. Bam took the lubricant and Ville took the condom, opening it and rolling it down Bam's shaft. Bam opened the lubricant and smeared a generous amount over Ville's entrance and his fingers.
"You want to stay on top for this?"
"Yeah, just do it"
Bam entered Ville's entrance with a gently push of his finger, attempting to relax the tense muscle. Kneeling, the rocker's head hung low, his dusky curls wrapping themselves across his face:
"Too long" Ville whispered.
"Only just under a month, Ville"
"Still too fucking long, Bam"
Bam added a second finger and scissored, now starting to stretch the muscle, earning deep moan from the Finn above him. Ville looked up into deep blue eyes and found himself lost and mesmerised in the love that seemed to fill them.
Finally adding the third finger Bam achieved a pained groan, worry suddenly crossing those love filled eyes. Ville assured him it was okay just by gentle glances. With a small amount of reluctance Ville spoke:
"Darling, I'm ready."
Feeling more confident Ville rolled off Bam's form and pulled him on top of him. Bam reached to the lubricant packet once more, liberally coating his length before aligning himself with Ville's subtly relaxed entrance.
"Sure?"
"Yes"
Bam moved slowly forward and tensed as his lover hissed in obvious pain. Once he had fully entered he stopped, waiting for his lover to open his clenched eyes, after waiting a few worrying minutes he asked:
"You want me to stop?"
"No, I was stupid to think it wouldn't hurt as much as last time. Just gimme a minute." Ville opened his eyes and smiled uncomfortably at the skater. He adjusted his hips and lifted his legs to wrap around Bam's waist, now urging movement. Bam took a gently, steady pace which they both complimented. Within minutes both of them were moaning loudly against each other, caressing one another's bodies and sharing sloppy kisses:
"Bammie...I'm close...touch me...need to come...with you." Ville panted.
Bam grasped Ville's large length and hurriedly glided his hand up and down it, so close to release he was losing the steady rhythm. Synchronised shaking signalled the end was near. Both roaring each other's name. Ville came beneath both of their bodies; Bam never caring for mess, lay down on his lover's body, spent. They lay together in a loving embrace before showering and returning to sit on the ends of their separated beds.
"Ville, don't make me sleep alone."
"Come here" He gripped Bam in his arms and laid them both back onto the small mattress. "I wouldn't dare"
"Thank you. It's just...I need this connection Ville"
"Me too. It's okay to be human once in a while"
"I love you"
"I love you too"
With final words of reassurance they let their senses sooth each other, Ville silently surprised at Bam's weakness, but glad of it nonetheless. Glad he knew he wasn't the only one who felt that way. They held each as they drifted into their first peaceful and content sleep they had both had in nearly a month.