happy. ha, what's that.

oh, and just an update, my car died on august 30th.

i mean DIED.

no one can tell me what to feel. if you think i'm making mistakes, that's cool. i'm going to do what i want, i'm going to make the decisions i feel make the most sense. i'm going to hang out with the people of my choosing and you cannot stop me. remember that next time you decide to take your foot out of your mouth for time enough to piss me ( Read more... )

so i think my problem is my insanity. and by 'i think,' i really mean i know.

i'm a fucking crazy bitch, but it's whatever.

i think i might be happy.

happy. ha, what's that.

so, i've been drinking since around 2. and i should know by now, drinking only leads to trouble.

i would rather cry out of pain than cry out of sadness.

why do i only ever want what i know i can't have?
why do i only miss things that i can never get back?
why do i ask stupid fucking questions when there are so many real questions that need answered?

i don't know where this sadness just came from but it hit me like a brick fucking wall.

i want so desperately to travel but i can't even get ahead of my bills. i feel like everything is frozen in place while the calendar keeps going.

so, apparently, in rochelle's dream last night i was baby jesus, leading big jesus to heaven and away from the devil who was chasing us. wtf.