What can you do to be a good homophobe?

Dec 01, 2007 15:28

Edit: This has been reposted and number 10 has been removed as per LJ' TOS notice (Thanks whoever reported it!!!!!@!). I edited some others as well, because I felt like it. I'll remove the original sometime before Wednesday, but the rest are staying. So nanny nanny poo poo!


In the war against The Gay Agenda™, it's hard to tell who's side someone is on. Make yourself clear on where you stand with the following suggestions:

1. State your views openly and loudly in public spaces, such as hallways, high-end restuarants, anywhere where someone who was minding their own business can hear you.

2. Reinforce gender roles: wimmens is hos (and nappy headed if they Negro - bent 'em over and get your credit cards ready!), men are players (but only if you're owning hos, so don't get it twisted).

3. Support like-minded artists such as Busta Rhymes, Eminem, Beenie Man, and Common.

4. Apparently, tagging "no homo" to the end of your writing is cool, so you might as well jump in on it. (no homo)

5. Like Ice Cube says, "Go to Church." And then pray for their sins.

6. Display the dominance of heterosexuality with public displays of affection (PDA). Tongue dive, grope, or just hold hands with your girl/boy anytime you suspect there might be someone gay around you. Some excellent, attention-grabbing spots include street corners and waiting in line at the store. If you're in school still, sit in the front row and try it in class sometime.

7. Move to Jamaica.

8. Actively support politicians who you know will pass anti-homosexuality legislation and vote down measures to try and equalize the populace. Learn from history: Jim Crow got abolished because people took it for granted.

9. So you want to play civil sometimes? Just put, "I don't mean to disrespect, but..." before you start explaining why you fully disrespect gays.

Pick your poison. Do 1, do 6, do all 9, it doesn't matter. Just make sure you're being the best fag-hater you can be.
Previous post Next post
Up