when i returned i learned i lost two.

dead: the avocado plant who needed watered often.

dead: a friend who fell asleep and never woke.

tomorrow, i will toss dirt twice.

this morning on my walk to work, i saw a good lookin, young, bearded fellow. totally checked him out. then i saw him get into the soup kitchen line with all the bums ( Read more... )

met somebody cool. myspaced me the next day. made plans to see a show.

there, he used the "d" word. i said, "i'm gonna be straight-- no, this aint a date."

he was crushed.

the show? heartless bastards.

when i learned he was coming back into town for a visit, i woke early the next day and frantically cleaned my apartment in anticipation. i tend to let things go when i live alone ( Read more... )

Guadalupe, bendiga esta ciudad.
Guadalupe, bendiga esta casa.
Guadalupe, bendiga esta carrucha.
Guadalupe, bendiga este cuete.
Guadalupe, bendiga este hombre.
bendigame, bendigame, bendigame.

Jesus, me perdona por favor.
deme la fuerza sobre mi enemigo.

the never-ending quest for a good pair of jeans for me is like trying to find the holy grail. standing six-foot-five with a 36 inseam and a small waist, getting a right fit is no easy task. yesterday i splurged and bought an expensive pair i thought did the job. but now i already hate them. and ive ripped the tags off. dont ever listen to ( Read more... )

great, i was just served a subpoena. a few weeks ago i witnessed a cracked-out woman crash into a construction dumpster. she claimed she wasn't driving. all of her thug friends came over and vouched for her. her friends were all drug-dealers. does anyone have a spare burqa i could borrow? if i go and testify, i'm afraid of retaliation. i ( Read more... )

today i want to climb across the fire escape, into my neighbor's apartment, and snap her little chihuahua's neck.

lulu, shut the fuck up. i'm tired of your goddamn, high-pitched crying. i'd play with ya but you always growl and bite me. plus, you shit in my apt everytime i bring you in. bitch, i hate you, bitch.

i've learned lately
honesty can be the worst response at times.

so is silence.

waitaminute..."going back to ohio" is not five syllables!