(no subject)
so this is kind of a much needed entry,
about things that are going on.
im writing personal mini letters to everyone who i need to say things to,
or everyone i need to get stuff off my chest about...
Chris,
You're my brother, and though we fight A LOT lately, i love you more than anything. You're not around much
and i can understand why you wouldnt want me to be, ive been mad at you lately, cos youre never around, and then i looked at the situation and realized that you have a life, and you dont want my mood swings to be a part of it,and though i miss you sooo much,im happy you're happy. :)
Laura
Ive said it once and ill say it again, if i could pick who my brother would be with, it would be you. You're good for him. You understand him. Im grateful that you make him happy. He'd be MISERABLE without you. You're such a sweetheart, youve seen me at my worst and you still come around. Im sorry for always seeiming so bitchy, but im glad you stick around Chris. It's the best thing for him. :)
Steff & ,
i miss you guys so fucking much. i miss hanging out with you guys all the time. i want to go to red top and have a peaceful day, but i find myself not wanting to go with anyone but y'all. I miss you, and love you. <3
Moe,
You understand me. I love you. We are bad for eachother. We need to be good for eachother. If we can work on that, everything will be fine. I love you for always, and you know it. I hate not hanging out with you, or talking to you even. it SUCKS. i miss you, i miss me, i miss us and winter break. Where has it all gone?
KT,
Youre here, and thats all i could ever ask of you. Im glad this year had brought us so close, i am so glad to have you as a friend. i know you worry about me, and its for good reason, but im alright. and im glad youre here for me. and im ALWAYS here for you. ALWAYS!
Bing,
You used to be such a good friend, now youre just a drug addicted teenager who never comes to school and every time i see you youre coked out. it makes me sick to my stomach to think that we used to be so tight, just about 3 months or 4 months ago, and now youre not you anymore, youre not the bing i loved to be around all the time, youre not the bing i would cook breakfast for. Youre the bing that cant eat breakfast cos youre so drugged up. I miss the old you. i miss summer. :(
Aaron,
I like you. You look at me differnt. Like you actually care about/respect me. I like that. I cant wait untill summer, and well be hanging out a lot. all the time. I wish i could take you to Oasis with me, it would make me very happy to have you there. Im glad youre not going to prom, and that were going to hang out instead. Im glad fate put us is the same class this semester. You know the first time i really talked to you i said to myself "out of all the guys i talk to and every guy in this school, how could i have ever missed him? how could i have never met or seen him before." Im glad i have.
James,
I also like you. But you scare me, cos i know you could easily hurt me. ive been through this shit before, and sometimes i wonder if youre worth it. you can be a bit unstable, and i can be a crazy bitch. we both know this. but you ALWAYS take care of me. ALWAYS. i like that, a lot. No matter what you are always trying to make me smile even when its hopeless, and even though i loose my temper with you when you wont leave me alone, i know your intentions are good. You're such a sweet guy, and i look forward to hanging out with you more...
Ashley,
Im so glad youre back in my life. im always here, you know that. ALWAYS. Alaska, Germany, and everywhere else, HERE WE COME! Were going to have so much fun the rest of our highschool years. I missed you.
Caity,
i already told you this tonight but im sorry for being a bitch. i cant wait untill our girls day, and ashleys b-day party. we'll have fun. drama free fun! :)
Lauren,
Youre the one that got me started on these little Lj letters. Youre my favorite person ever! Youre so sweet and bubbly, and i think i need to hang out with you more. I hope you did AMAZING on that test today! Youre so smart! & were totally going sunglasses hunting at the end of the year so SAVE YOUR MOOOLAH! Love ya doll!
Gabbi,
People in highschool talk shit. But im proud of you, very proud of you. You do what you want, and its awesome. Im happy for you & crystal. Im glad youre so open about things. i love that about you. :)
I have to get up early tomorrow for my highlights, and then im going to clean my room then go out to sushi wiht 40958108457 people. Its going to be a blast.
i love you.