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It's so hard to live in the city.

It's even harder to leave.

for the first time, i'm not dying to get out of the city for the summer. because when i leave, i wont come back to anything i know. I come back to familiar streets and people, but this gaping hole will exist where home used to be. this emotional gaping abyss. eugh. sorry for the metaphor.

Comments

[fufabr51]

i've been thinking about this stuff aS Well while i'm in paris. and i think it has to do with the fact that ny is so shallow. there's nothing there except for the now. which is fun but it is not a long term satisfaction. The thing about paris is that everywhere you go you have ridiculous amounts of historical things. it puts the world in context, and keeps a person from being so self involved. new york has this thing about it that engulfs you and all of sudden nothing else outside of it exists. like i don't think i could ever fully leave ny, but i'm starting to get tired of it. Europe is just so much more relaxed but isn't completely boring. you dont have that nagging sense that ur missing out. i don't know, this is my first impression of this trip.

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that is totally it.
i also could never ever really just leave NY...but its made for 18-27 sort of age range when life is a mess and you just want to indulge your stupid self, and live in the present but we grew up a long time ago in that sense because we traveled and we know and knew and saw other places and other things and other cultures and we understand that there is so much beyond the borderes of the MTA subway lines. because although NY is more cultured and aware of the world than other US cities, its pretencious in loving itself and shutting the world out and we become equally pretencious and self involved ( as we rightfully should seeing how fabulous we are...:p )
BUt, i dont know, I'm not done looking, you know?

[mariakgb]

i don't know people. i call new york home. but i always had a love/hate relationship with it. i found 'my' place. my country. my city. for me it's amsterdam. it just suits me. has anyone ever felt 'complete'? because that's how i feel there. there is not a single empty spot there.

i will be saving up for spring break. i want to leave. i can't live in nyc anymore. i can't be inevitably sucked into all the bullshit that goes down there.

i'm most likely going to london for thanksgiving. you down?