The Helpless End of an Unhinged Soul

[itwaslikedieing]

Ok, I don't know if this would actully be considered morbid but I figured it was a decent poem. You all will see this at a later date and time on my own "live Journal

Comments

[me_beith_geeky]

Spellcheck, darling. Spellcheck.

eh

[itwaslikedieing]

Yeah, I forget about that sometimes. I am new to live journal but...you could have given a little more constructive criticism on something with a little more substance.
^-^

Re: eh

[me_beith_geeky]

You need to make every word count. It's a poem, not a story.

Other than that, I am still amazed you left the typos and spelling mistakes. Alas, to each his own, I suppose...

Re: eh

[itwaslikedieing]

Yes, and every word counts in my poem...or else it would not be in it at all. On another note, Poems in fact can be stories, Edgar Allan poe wrote many " The Raven", "Eldorado","Annabel Lee". Ann Plato " The Natives of America". Anna Hempstead Branch "Connecticut road song". The list is endless. You cannot tell me "It's a poem, not a story" Because most poems are stories. I am not trying to be difficult but...like you said every word counts, and with me every word of criticism counts BUT it has to be valid criticism. The Grammar was Valid criticism , Thank you for telling me. I am new to Live Journal and I am still learning about it, I just learned you can change your post's. Hence it has not been correct, But it will be for your viewing pleasure. To each her/his own, I happen to be female. -Crystal-

hmm

[itwaslikedieing]

Hmm, Alright I see what you are getting at now. Sorry, I did not mean to come off "uptight" about my gender, I was just sorta mentioning it just in case you had missed the picture or thought it was a girlfriend. It happens. I don't know, I read the poem and I cannot find a word I don't want or could do away with. It is supposed to basically be the ranting of a mentally disturbed person in a mental hospital, not necessarily creepy but I can understand how it could be made so. I am always for improving my writing, I in fact want to be a writer. Do not think what you say is not appreciated, it is but, you know it wounds the ego sometimes and I get a little testy. Be it the Irish..or I just have a bad temper who knows. Thanks -Crystal-