(Untitled)

[_blueice_]

funny. it runs out when least expected

Comments

[kitestream]

I don't get it. You've got a lot of abstract concepts, without tying them together. Is this really intended to be a poem - feels more like flushing your feelings out. The detail, the raw imagery of your earlier stuff is what draws a reader in, makes him/her relate. I think it would help you process your emotions better, too, if you were communicating a sense of where the emotions come from and the effect they have. Even knowing you a little bit, I have no idea what this means. But I hope it's a cathartic process to write.

[_blueice_]

c'mon, admit it's a crap, huh?

[kitestream]

I thought I was taking the constructive way out. :)

[_blueice_]

right. let's put it all on my depression - the expression lacks sense - that's true. it's like a dot here-dot there no complete picture. That's also true. Wish I was at home to get bloody drunk