i sent a message to my enemy today trying to reconcile and be civil, and regardless of how she responds, i feel pretty damn good about myself right now. i've been eating way too much, i have problems. i need to fix stuff and start taking care of myself and showing myself some love. today i realized how incredibly hard it is to say the words "i love you" i think you are an awesome girl and you are so nice to me, even though i barely know you. i still read your journal and it seems like you've been having a hard time lately. i hope things look up for you and i can't wait until you find the person for you that loves you until it hurts. i have a ton of other stuff on my mind too, but that's just the top layer for you to read.
i think you are a wonderful girl and you dont always see that. i wish you would. i also wish you wouldn't let that boy get you down because he is not worth it.
I'm angry and sad, I can feel it bubbling out of me. But I'm trying not to be. I'm trying now to write how angry and depressed I am because of him because I KNOW he reads my journal. I want him to think I'm happy, and that I don't even think about him anymore. It is getting "better", but sometimes, I wish I could kill him.
I want him dead. I want him dead. I want him dead.
I'm dying to say this and scream it out, and type it over and over again in my journal but I'm trying to forget it. I want him to think I'm happy. I hope that if I pretend for long enough I will be.
I used to feel constantly upset when we were together, even before I knew about what he did. Upset because he didn't seem to care about me. That kind of upset is gone now, sort of. And in that sense I am happier.
I know I can be happier without him. I know it. It's just a case of getting over this initial hurdle. It's been almost two months. I don't want him back, y'know? That's not what this is.
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i've been eating way too much, i have problems. i need to fix stuff and start taking care of myself and showing myself some love.
today i realized how incredibly hard it is to say the words "i love you"
i think you are an awesome girl and you are so nice to me, even though i barely know you. i still read your journal and it seems like you've been having a hard time lately. i hope things look up for you and i can't wait until you find the person for you that loves you until it hurts.
i have a ton of other stuff on my mind too, but that's just the top layer for you to read.
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I want him dead.
I want him dead.
I want him dead.
I'm dying to say this and scream it out, and type it over and over again in my journal but I'm trying to forget it. I want him to think I'm happy. I hope that if I pretend for long enough I will be.
I used to feel constantly upset when we were together, even before I knew about what he did. Upset because he didn't seem to care about me. That kind of upset is gone now, sort of. And in that sense I am happier.
I know I can be happier without him. I know it. It's just a case of getting over this initial hurdle. It's been almost two months. I don't want him back, y'know? That's not what this is.
I just want R. S. K. dead.
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