(no subject)
[Private:
Fucking Atobe Keigo.
No. That's not it.
That's exactly not it and that's what the problem is. That sounds stupid. That sounds shitty and gay. I don't even fucking know what's going on anymore, I thought we were done with this shit and I could just focus on Haginosuke. But then he has to go get himself, I don't know, fucked up and in trouble.
And I shouldn't be wondering about this shit. It isn't what is. WHy the fuck does he have to look so damn good
I hate him. I hate them both.
I fucking miss Haginosuke. ANd I don't know why the hell he's such a fucking moron. This is shitty and stupid and I don't . fucking. understand any of it. This isn't ME, this isn't what I was supposed to want, I was gonna be the decent one since Ken's such a fuckup. It's supposed to be all on me nowand I can't, I cant' do this. What am I supposed to say? Sorry Mom, I'm in love with a guy?
Fuck, I really am in love with him. I know we said this shit before but. Shiiiiit. this isn't going away. waht does that ... fuck. How the fuck does my world fall apart withou thim here?
And keigo's fucking pissed at me for I don't know why. I'm not going to fucking sabotage his musical. I'm not out to get him. I'm not out to destroy his world. It's like he forgets that I wanted him, too.
why the hell isn't there an easy way out of htis.]