Well... maybe if my life didn’t solely consist of wiping my child’s ass all day, I’d have more to write about.

But that’s just not how it is.

At least I can say that I survived childbirth, and my boyfriend still wants to do me.

So SNAP, you single, sexless girls!

Anyway.


( Read more... )

So I finally gave birth.
And even though they were inducing the labor for over twenty hours, and she weighed over seven pounds, it really wasn't terrible. 
Though my nipples are sore and I'm fucking tired.

Aislin Lorelei McClay
June 26th, 9:18 p.m. 
7lbs 11.9oz 
21 in.

http://i82.photobucket.com/albums/j263/BabyAisy/Aislin1.jpg
http://i82.photobucket.com ( Read more... )

I'm tiiired. And now that I can't get stoned and/or overly intoxicated, Saturdays have lost their beauty. Now they're just about bad television.

The baby gets the hiccups every time I eat. It's cute and annoying.

Last night into this morning I had the most excruciating backache and quote "fake labor pains" ever. It occurred to me then that this baby is going to be born sometime in the next five weeks. And it's making its debut from my vagina. Ridiculous. Who thought of that?

Anyway, I took ( Read more... )

Bitch.

I will rip you to pieces.

Sleeping is impossible.

You can all fuck off.

Though I mean that in the best possible way.

I don't understand vegans, or straightedges, or especially vegan straightedges.

What are you people living for?

p.s.
I want to shove my neighbor's nail gun up his rectal cavity.

p.s.s.
You should tell everyone that you left something extremely important behind, like a kidney, and come back for a while.

You're my favorite. 

September:
Suave and compromising. Careful, cautious and organized. Likes to point out people's mistakes. Likes to criticize. Stubborn. Quiet but able to talk well. Calm and cool. Kind and sympathetic. Concerned and detailed. Loyal. Does work well. Very confident. Sensitive. Thinking generous. Good memory. Clever and knowledgeable. Loves to look for ( Read more... )

Wow. I’m absolutely surrounded.

I’d have to deal with less drama if I befriended an entire sixth grade class. I really don’t know how much more I can take. I want to become a recluse. Or a unabomber. Both?

I don’t have words for any of you.

This is so incredibly stupid. It leaves me practically speechless. All I can think to do is break something over her head and then stab myself repeatedly with the broken shards of glass. After all, n-o-t-h-i-n-g could possibly be more painful than this.

You're unbelievable. Shut the fuck up.

In other news, redundancy is not my thing. Also, it ( Read more... )