I have lived so many lives though I'm not old

[_dawnie_]

I've been so busy lately getting ready for finals that I almost can't believe they're over. I just took my last one. English. I'm not too bad at English, actually. I'll probably have at least an A- in there. I wanted to ask Janice how she did, but she zipped off after class. She thinks I don't know that she's been following Jordy around.

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[avasa_edan]

It has been utterly quiet in Sunnydale for the past few days, almost like the quiet before a storm, and I couldn't quite figure it out until now as to why that was. I had somehow, unknowingly, just blocked them out entirely. The voices. I couldn't say when this happened, or how it came to happen... and the funny thing was, I had to open my mind to them to find Dawn.

Thankfully she wasn't too far away. I grin as she approaches, and hide her Christmas gift. It's suppose to be a surprise, after all.

[_dawnie_]

There he is, standing in the doorway of his cabin waiting for me. I almost feel like my heart misses a beat. You know those people who say you can't be in love when you're as young as seventeen-and-a-half? They don't know what they're talking about. I smile breathlessly and throw my arms around him, not sparing a thought for the gift bag I have in my left hand. "Hi."

[avasa_edan]

"Hi," I think the grin is permanantly etched on my face. Funny how it's only there when I think of, or am in the company of, Dawn. I wrap my arms around her waist, lean forward and kiss her tenderly.

[_dawnie_]

It's easy to forget everything else when I kiss him. He almost seems like a different person from the wild-eyed, frightened bearded guy I met outside the store that day. Has he really changed that drastically, or does it only seem that way because I love him? I finally break away from his lips.

"I'm done with my exams!" I say. "Do I get a gold star?"

[avasa_edan]

I give Dawn a look of wide-eyed disbelief, it had literally been years since I'd received a gift of any kind. And, like a child, I hastily unwrapped it, "It's perfect," I slip the sweater over my head, a perfect fit. Snug. "I really needed a sweater," she must have guessed that, especially after how we met...

"You're going to have to close your eyes, your gift, I'm afraid, isn't wrapped..."

[_dawnie_]

First I have to look at him in the sweater; it complements his eyes and complexion just like I thought it would. I smooth the wool where it has bunched up around his shoulders, and then I close my eyes like he asked me to.

"Okay...."

[avasa_edan]

Could she have possibly been any sweeter, "No peeking."

I get off the sofa, and grab my gift from its hiding place, granted it wasn't store bought, but there's something personal about making a gift yourself. I sit back down, my gaze lingering on Dawn's patient expression as she wonders what it is I got her. I shift uncomfortably, the portrait size a little awkward, "Ok. Open them."

[_dawnie_]

I'm speechless. Not often you can say that about me. C'mon, I'm a teenager. Dawn's the name, motormouth's the game. But I've never seen anything like this before.

It's a painting of me, but a me I never knew existed. This girl is radiant. It almost looks like light comes from inside her, and her smile is soft and loving. She's prettier than I could ever be. Stronger. Me amplified, I guess. It's a painting of someone who is loved beyond comprehension.

I can't say anything. Not a word, but I'm crying. How embarrassing, how girlie.

[_dawnie_]

Hmmm. I have a dilemma here. I want to just kiss him until my lips fall off, but that much kissing makes me want other things that I've never done and we've never discussed. So maybe some talking would be good.

I nestle my head on his shoulder and say, "So tell me what you've been doing while I've been in school and since your sister left."

[avasa_edan]

"Painting, collecting dead wood for the fire," I give Dawn an innocent smile as I indicate the still burning fire. In all honesty? I had also been trying to hone my abilities. Either trying to focus on one person whom happened to be miles away, or trying to push away the thoughts and memories of the people in Sunnydale. Both of which had been difficult experiences, both taxing of energy and time.

On more than one occasion I had awoken on the floor, having passed out from the pain of it. Yet I continued with my efforts, not wanting to regress to how I was when I had first met Dawn. Whom I didn't want to sadden if I told her of what I was doing, she had seen so much sadness for someone so young and I never wanted to cause her any more. "What about you?"

[_dawnie_]

"Tons of studying. I've been helping decorate for Christmas, which is interesting at our house since Willow is kinda Jewish-Wiccan, and Tara's Wiccan-American, and me and Buffy are just regular Christmas-celebrate-y types. So we have every decoration you can think of." I spread my fingers out across his stomach, feeling the warm wool of his new sweater underneath them. I glance around. "Do you put up a Christmas tree?"

[avasa_edan]

"Your house sounds like its full of so much warmth". Was it wrong to be jealous of what she had? "And not so much with the Christmas tree," I sound almost sad, but I'm not one for cutting down trees for celebration. Though the gift of giving was something I tried to pratice on this time of year. Even when mildly insane.

"My family celebrated the holidays together, but over the years we just... grew apart. One time, Astrid tried helping mom bake and well, long story short? They almost burned down the entire kitchen," I start laughing a little. Christmas was full of such good memories, it was harder now that mom was gone.