make yourself a photograph and laugh at me

[_dawnie_]

Everything feels unsettled today. I'm not sure if it's Buffy being gone... still... or Avasa having to leave for a little while because of his grandmother's death, or just that I miss my friends and some of it's my own fault. Or maybe it's all of that

Comments

[_janice_]

I look up from painting to see Dawn coming backstage. I wave at her, trying to look cheerful, even though I'm still pretty upset about the stuff Jordy said the other night.

"Hi, Dawn. Decided to join the paint party?" I ask. After this is done, I'm never gonna want to see another paitbrush again.

[_dawnie_]

"Hey." She looks about like I feel: bummed and trying to hide it.

I glance around, trying to figure out what I should do to help. Finally I grab a brush and sit down next to her, dipping it in the paint and helping to fill in the large area of fake wall she's working on. "What's going on with you? Haven't talked to you in a while."

Because I suck and I'm a horrible friend.

[_janice_]

"I know, I've been really busy," I say, apologetically. "Any word about your sister or anyone?" I keep forgetting Dawn has these bigger problems going on.

I dip my brush in a darker gray and spatter it to approximate a rough texture on the wall. I know I'm being avoidy about talking about Jordy, mainly because I'm so hurt. Even though I know it probably wasn't really him saying that stuff.

[_dawnie_]

I set the brush down for a minute to tie my hair in a loose knot at the nape of my neck; I could just see me getting gray paint all in it. "Nah. I mean, I'm sure they're fine. It just gets tiring waiting to hear something. Thanks for asking, though."

I don't even know where to start, so I paint in silence for a couple of minutes.

[_dawnie_]

"Jordy's gotten mean?" I know he's a werewolf, but still the concepts of Jordy and meanness just don't compute. I'm whispering now, not wanting to be overheard by anyone. "What did he do?"

I shiver, just a little.

[_janice_]

I lean in closer also, wiping the brush off so it doesn't drip all over us. And then, it just all starts spilling out, a jumble of words. "I went out looking for him the other night, and he's got this thing where he's been calling me Rosaline, like in the play, only you know, we never dated or anything so I don't know why he thinks I'm her."

I sigh. "We were talking...but he's so far from making any sense, and he'd been seeing some guy he calls a priest but who really looks like a drug dealer or pimp or something. Plus he burned his hand on the locket Sophie made me take to him and it still hasn't healed, and I was saying wasn't there some special ointment or something for silver burns, and--"

"He asks why am I worried, we're not friends anyway," I finish quickly, afraid I'm gonna get choked up again.

[_dawnie_]

She looks upset, and I can't blame her. That's so not like Jordy. I chew on my lip, thinking. "He normally would never say that," I mumble. "Ever since this whole play thing started..."

I trail off, rubbing my nose absently.

[_janice_]

"Yeah, I know," I say, regaining my composure. "I think it's the spell or whatever, but still, why did he peg me as Rosaline, anyway? Why am I the big bitch? I'm not even in the cast!"

I stab the brush back into the can of gray paint, a little angry now.

[_janice_]

I lower my voice even more. "Yeah, she called me into her room one day, and asked me if I thought Sophie was acting strange. And we talked a little, and she thinks it's a spell and I'm supposed to be finding out more so maybe she can figure out how to fix it."

Another sigh...god, I gotta get over this mood. "Only, I've talked to a bunch of them, and I can never quite break through enough to figure out how it happened. But Jordy's in bad shape...have you talked to him at all?"

[_dawnie_]

"I haven't seen him for ages," I say, guilt crashing over me again. What's wrong with me? I should've tried harder. "I tried to find him today and I couldn't. And I was all mad because he was ignoring me... I should've thought about something major being wrong."

[_janice_]

I shake my head. "He's totally not himself, I mean at all. He was telling me if I had problems I should go talk to a priest. And it almost seems like he...doesn't really remember he's a werewolf, y'know? And he kept looking like he felt sick or something, it's not good."

[_dawnie_]

I cross my arms, glancing around again to make sure nobody's paying attention to us. "What can we do? I mean, we gotta do something about this."

[_dawnie_]

Huh. Her cheeks are turning red.

I think about that for a minute, then I say, very carefully, "If you did, there wouldn't be anything wrong with that, you know. He's younger and all, but look how much older Avasa is than me. Sometimes age doesn't matter so much."

I steal a glance at her.

[_janice_]

"I guess not," I mumble, hoping I'm not turning as red as I think I am. "It's weird, sometimes he seems older than he is."

No, no, no, you are not thinking about this, it's stupid, and besides he's seeing Sophie, end of story. Think about Scott some more. He's cute, he's tall, he's nice. Okay, so he's a bit of a burnout, but still, very nice.

"Kind of a moot point, though, since he's dating Sophie," I add.

[_dawnie_]

"Yeah. Well, for now. What if the Sophie-liking is because of the wonky play weirdness?" I pause. "Not that she isn't pretty or likeable. But you know what I mean."

[_janice_]

Okay, that hadn't occurred to me. 'Cause the liking thing happened before people got weird, didn't it? I frown. "You think? I mean, I just figured it was because they were rehearsing a lot together and got to know each other better...huh, the rehearsing again." I shake my head. "Well, no way to know unless we figure out how to break the spell."