A Place to Call Home-Part III
Next part. :D
At home, all our old feelings come to the surface.
Dawson felt as if all the air had rushed out of his lungs, he opened his mouth to speak, but there were no words. Shocked didn’t even come close to describing the emotion that was running through his heart. Every emotion known to the universe was swirling around inside of him. They melded together tightly, forming a large mass of feeling that left him aching. As he struggled with his emotions, he stared deeply into her eyes, trying to figure out what she was feeling. He could usually feel her emotions as keenly as if they were his own, but at that moment he couldn’t. He was too overwhelmed.
Joey matched his stare, unwilling to look away for even a moment. She could see the emotional battle he was fighting with himself. Anyone else would mistake the look in his eyes as pure shock, but she knew there was more to it. Telling him had been easier than she thought it would be. For the first time since the divorce, she felt light, as if a weight had been lifted off her heart, letting the light of the world inside. She smiled at him and rested her hand on his arm in a subconscious gesture. “It’s okay Dawson, you don’t have to say anything.”
At her touch his arm began to tingle and burn with repressed longing. Even after all these years he still wanted her as much as he had that night in her dorm room. He stopped that train of thought before it dragged him down to a dangerous place. A place his mind and heart were no longer allowed to dwell. He should be comforting her, getting her to open up to him about what happened, take her hand in a gesture of friendship, but instead all he did was stand there and look deeply into her eyes, trying to ignore the way his skin seemed to sizzle. He didn’t want to want her this way anymore. Their time had passed; she had made her decision.
Her skin began to grow warm under his intense gaze. His eyes were burning with the same hazy desire that was coursing through her own body. He had always had this affect on her and seeing that he was feeling the same way only heightened her desire. She hadn’t felt this way in a long time, but she wasn’t going to take advantage of the moment. She didn’t want to mess things up with Dawson again. It was their chance to be friends without love as an entaglement. She gently pulled her hand back. “Want to grab some lunch with me?”
The spell was broken, he felt like himself again. He reconstructed the wall he had built between them; it would be better this way. If he kept a part of himself at a distance, his heart wouldn’t be in danger again. She had destroyed him too many times in the past; he wasn’t going to let it happen again. He gave her a half-smile, “Yeah.” He wanted to say more, but he was still feeling rattled; maybe by the time they arrived at a restaurant he’d be able to talk to her the way a friend should.
“When you are with a friend,
your heart has come home.” - Unknown
“So Dawson, Mr. Big-Shot-Producer, what brings you to Capeside?” Joey raised her eyebrows at him from across the table. They had decided to try out a new restaurant, A Place to Call Home, an odd name for a restaurant, but it was appropriate. The tables were covered in homemade tablecloths and the walls were decorated with local paintings. The chairs were hardwood chairs with padded cushions that also looked hand sewn. Dawson and Joey were tucked into the far corner of the large room, giving the atomosphere a feeling of comfort and privacy.
Dawson had been looking at a picture of a house with a white picket fence. The house sat on top of a hill by the ocean; there was a variety of blues and greens in the painting, it was absolutely stunning. He let his eyes linger on the painting a few more moments before setting his eyes on Joey. Her hazel eyes were now a deep shade of green with tiny flecks of gold, which reminded him of the painting he had been looking at. He could picture her there in that house, a woman who was once broken by a tragedy, but had now found new happiness. Despite her new life, her eyes were heavy with sadness; a secret she was keeping from the world. She was standing on the hill, searching…. He shook his head; it had been the first time he had thought like a director or a storyteller in months. He knew he was taking too long to answer her question; he could lie and tell her he was just visiting his family, but the thought didn’t settle well in his stomach. He wanted her to know the truth. “I lost myself, Jo.”
It was such a simple statement, but she understood what he meant. She felt that way herself. “A piece of your heart, your soul, was left behind.” She smiled sadly.
“I had to come back and find it.”
“Yes,” she said softly and looked into his eyes. They sat staring into each other’s eyes for several minutes, saying everything that needed to be said through a look. She reached out and touched his hand; “I wanted to call so many times Dawson.”
Despite his earlier determination to keep her at a distance, his heart softened at the look of devastation in her eyes. “I should have called.”
Her heart squeezed painfully at the light and caring in his eyes; she didn’t deserve it. “Why didn’t you?” She asked softly, almost afraid of the answer.
He looked down at her hand resting lightly on his and a smile filled his eyes, but not his lips. “The same reason you didn’t call me.” A look of understanding passed between them. He turned his hand over and lightly squeezed her hand. They didn’t need to say anything else because they both already knew and in that motion, all was forgiven.
“About Pacey….” She mumbled, trying to find the words, but she saw Dawson shake his head.
“That’s the past, Jo, and if we are going to be friends again, we need to learn to let it go.” He was so tired of always rehashing the past; they could begin here and rebuild their friendship. What happened with Pacey didn’t matter. All that mattered was the here and now, something that had taken him a long time to learn, but he finally had.
“You’re right.” She gave him a small and shy smile, aware that their hands were still clasped. It felt natural and….right.
“I’m always here for you. If you need to talk about it…. I’m never far away.”
“Thank you, Dawson.” She gave him a toothy grin.
No matter how far you run, your home will always be there.
Several hours later they were still walking around Capeside, laughing, talking, catching up on their lives. “Dawson….” She said and looked at him intently. He stopped walking down the quiet street they had been on and raised his eyebrows. “Ummm….” She wasn’t sure how to ask him about his love life. It wasn’t any of her business, but she had been dying to know all day. She wasn't sure why it mattered to her, but for some reason it did. It always had. “Do you have someone waiting for you in L.A.?”
He shook his head and offered her a short laugh, “Are you kidding? I was too busy in L.A. to even think about doing the love and marriage thing.”
That wasn’t the Dawson she knew, the romantic dreamer who had always believed in love. “What happened Dawson?” She asked quietly.
He wasn’t going to back out of the conversation now, he had to be honest. “The love of my life shattered my heart.” He looked into her eyes without emotion.
She shrunk into herself. Was he talking about her? It had been eight years since she had last seen him; it was very possible he was talking about someone else. The thought of him loving anyone else didn’t sit well in her stomach. She felt the old jealously return. “Oh.” They started to walk again; the silence that hung in the air was heavy and painful. After several minutes she hesitantly called his name again. He looked down at her and she offered him a smile that didn’t reach her eyes, “I still believe.”
He knew what she was talking about, but he feigned ignorance, “In what?”
“Love.” She paused, “Sometimes Dawson you have to keep believing no matter how much it hurts.” His mouth twitched for a moment, but he didn’t let the smile break through. She sounded just like he had all those years ago, but all he had received in exchange for those beliefs were broken dreams. It hadn’t just been her marriage to Pacey that had broken his heart and hopes, L.A. had hardened him, emotions only got in the way.
She wanted him to be the Dawson he used to be, that was the Dawson she had known and loved in one way or another her whole life. She was supposed to be the cynic in this scenario, not him. He hadn’t even been married and yet she felt more hope than he did. A hope that had only begun to emerge when she moved back to Capeside. She believed that her memories of her and him had reminded her that love was always possible. She had fallen for Pacey when her hopes about Dawson had been shattered and he had been the one to pick her up when that fell apart. This time around, she had managed to fix herself. She wanted his wounds to be healed; for hers to finish healing. She reached for his hand and clasped it tightly within hers. She gave him a small smile.
He felt as if his heart were breaking all over again. What was she trying to show him and why? Why was her heart so open after the devastation he felt she had gone through? He couldn’t get past all the heartbreak she had dealt him over the years. She had always been the survivor and now she was playing the part of the romantic. He took his hand away, she was confusing him. She was making him feel again and he didn’t want to. “I have to go, Jo, I promised Lily I’d help with her homework tonight.”
”We can walk back together, I am only across the creek you know.” She flashed a crooked smile at him.
“Ah…you know, I told her I’d meet her at the library on the other side of town, sorry.” It was the truth, but as he uttered it, it sounded like a lie.
“Oh, okay.” Her face fell. He practically ran from her, almost running into a car. She frowned as she watched him rush down the quiet street. He was acting strange….maybe holding his hand had been a bad move. She hadn’t meant it to be a romantic gesture….or had she?
At home, all our old feelings come to the surface.
Dawson felt as if all the air had rushed out of his lungs, he opened his mouth to speak, but there were no words. Shocked didn’t even come close to describing the emotion that was running through his heart. Every emotion known to the universe was swirling around inside of him. They melded together tightly, forming a large mass of feeling that left him aching. As he struggled with his emotions, he stared deeply into her eyes, trying to figure out what she was feeling. He could usually feel her emotions as keenly as if they were his own, but at that moment he couldn’t. He was too overwhelmed.
Joey matched his stare, unwilling to look away for even a moment. She could see the emotional battle he was fighting with himself. Anyone else would mistake the look in his eyes as pure shock, but she knew there was more to it. Telling him had been easier than she thought it would be. For the first time since the divorce, she felt light, as if a weight had been lifted off her heart, letting the light of the world inside. She smiled at him and rested her hand on his arm in a subconscious gesture. “It’s okay Dawson, you don’t have to say anything.”
At her touch his arm began to tingle and burn with repressed longing. Even after all these years he still wanted her as much as he had that night in her dorm room. He stopped that train of thought before it dragged him down to a dangerous place. A place his mind and heart were no longer allowed to dwell. He should be comforting her, getting her to open up to him about what happened, take her hand in a gesture of friendship, but instead all he did was stand there and look deeply into her eyes, trying to ignore the way his skin seemed to sizzle. He didn’t want to want her this way anymore. Their time had passed; she had made her decision.
Her skin began to grow warm under his intense gaze. His eyes were burning with the same hazy desire that was coursing through her own body. He had always had this affect on her and seeing that he was feeling the same way only heightened her desire. She hadn’t felt this way in a long time, but she wasn’t going to take advantage of the moment. She didn’t want to mess things up with Dawson again. It was their chance to be friends without love as an entaglement. She gently pulled her hand back. “Want to grab some lunch with me?”
The spell was broken, he felt like himself again. He reconstructed the wall he had built between them; it would be better this way. If he kept a part of himself at a distance, his heart wouldn’t be in danger again. She had destroyed him too many times in the past; he wasn’t going to let it happen again. He gave her a half-smile, “Yeah.” He wanted to say more, but he was still feeling rattled; maybe by the time they arrived at a restaurant he’d be able to talk to her the way a friend should.
“When you are with a friend,
your heart has come home.” - Unknown
“So Dawson, Mr. Big-Shot-Producer, what brings you to Capeside?” Joey raised her eyebrows at him from across the table. They had decided to try out a new restaurant, A Place to Call Home, an odd name for a restaurant, but it was appropriate. The tables were covered in homemade tablecloths and the walls were decorated with local paintings. The chairs were hardwood chairs with padded cushions that also looked hand sewn. Dawson and Joey were tucked into the far corner of the large room, giving the atomosphere a feeling of comfort and privacy.
Dawson had been looking at a picture of a house with a white picket fence. The house sat on top of a hill by the ocean; there was a variety of blues and greens in the painting, it was absolutely stunning. He let his eyes linger on the painting a few more moments before setting his eyes on Joey. Her hazel eyes were now a deep shade of green with tiny flecks of gold, which reminded him of the painting he had been looking at. He could picture her there in that house, a woman who was once broken by a tragedy, but had now found new happiness. Despite her new life, her eyes were heavy with sadness; a secret she was keeping from the world. She was standing on the hill, searching…. He shook his head; it had been the first time he had thought like a director or a storyteller in months. He knew he was taking too long to answer her question; he could lie and tell her he was just visiting his family, but the thought didn’t settle well in his stomach. He wanted her to know the truth. “I lost myself, Jo.”
It was such a simple statement, but she understood what he meant. She felt that way herself. “A piece of your heart, your soul, was left behind.” She smiled sadly.
“I had to come back and find it.”
“Yes,” she said softly and looked into his eyes. They sat staring into each other’s eyes for several minutes, saying everything that needed to be said through a look. She reached out and touched his hand; “I wanted to call so many times Dawson.”
Despite his earlier determination to keep her at a distance, his heart softened at the look of devastation in her eyes. “I should have called.”
Her heart squeezed painfully at the light and caring in his eyes; she didn’t deserve it. “Why didn’t you?” She asked softly, almost afraid of the answer.
He looked down at her hand resting lightly on his and a smile filled his eyes, but not his lips. “The same reason you didn’t call me.” A look of understanding passed between them. He turned his hand over and lightly squeezed her hand. They didn’t need to say anything else because they both already knew and in that motion, all was forgiven.
“About Pacey….” She mumbled, trying to find the words, but she saw Dawson shake his head.
“That’s the past, Jo, and if we are going to be friends again, we need to learn to let it go.” He was so tired of always rehashing the past; they could begin here and rebuild their friendship. What happened with Pacey didn’t matter. All that mattered was the here and now, something that had taken him a long time to learn, but he finally had.
“You’re right.” She gave him a small and shy smile, aware that their hands were still clasped. It felt natural and….right.
“I’m always here for you. If you need to talk about it…. I’m never far away.”
“Thank you, Dawson.” She gave him a toothy grin.
No matter how far you run, your home will always be there.
Several hours later they were still walking around Capeside, laughing, talking, catching up on their lives. “Dawson….” She said and looked at him intently. He stopped walking down the quiet street they had been on and raised his eyebrows. “Ummm….” She wasn’t sure how to ask him about his love life. It wasn’t any of her business, but she had been dying to know all day. She wasn't sure why it mattered to her, but for some reason it did. It always had. “Do you have someone waiting for you in L.A.?”
He shook his head and offered her a short laugh, “Are you kidding? I was too busy in L.A. to even think about doing the love and marriage thing.”
That wasn’t the Dawson she knew, the romantic dreamer who had always believed in love. “What happened Dawson?” She asked quietly.
He wasn’t going to back out of the conversation now, he had to be honest. “The love of my life shattered my heart.” He looked into her eyes without emotion.
She shrunk into herself. Was he talking about her? It had been eight years since she had last seen him; it was very possible he was talking about someone else. The thought of him loving anyone else didn’t sit well in her stomach. She felt the old jealously return. “Oh.” They started to walk again; the silence that hung in the air was heavy and painful. After several minutes she hesitantly called his name again. He looked down at her and she offered him a smile that didn’t reach her eyes, “I still believe.”
He knew what she was talking about, but he feigned ignorance, “In what?”
“Love.” She paused, “Sometimes Dawson you have to keep believing no matter how much it hurts.” His mouth twitched for a moment, but he didn’t let the smile break through. She sounded just like he had all those years ago, but all he had received in exchange for those beliefs were broken dreams. It hadn’t just been her marriage to Pacey that had broken his heart and hopes, L.A. had hardened him, emotions only got in the way.
She wanted him to be the Dawson he used to be, that was the Dawson she had known and loved in one way or another her whole life. She was supposed to be the cynic in this scenario, not him. He hadn’t even been married and yet she felt more hope than he did. A hope that had only begun to emerge when she moved back to Capeside. She believed that her memories of her and him had reminded her that love was always possible. She had fallen for Pacey when her hopes about Dawson had been shattered and he had been the one to pick her up when that fell apart. This time around, she had managed to fix herself. She wanted his wounds to be healed; for hers to finish healing. She reached for his hand and clasped it tightly within hers. She gave him a small smile.
He felt as if his heart were breaking all over again. What was she trying to show him and why? Why was her heart so open after the devastation he felt she had gone through? He couldn’t get past all the heartbreak she had dealt him over the years. She had always been the survivor and now she was playing the part of the romantic. He took his hand away, she was confusing him. She was making him feel again and he didn’t want to. “I have to go, Jo, I promised Lily I’d help with her homework tonight.”
”We can walk back together, I am only across the creek you know.” She flashed a crooked smile at him.
“Ah…you know, I told her I’d meet her at the library on the other side of town, sorry.” It was the truth, but as he uttered it, it sounded like a lie.
“Oh, okay.” Her face fell. He practically ran from her, almost running into a car. She frowned as she watched him rush down the quiet street. He was acting strange….maybe holding his hand had been a bad move. She hadn’t meant it to be a romantic gesture….or had she?