It has been a while...
..since my last post.
Mostly due to things at work getting busy. However, something has changed in my life. Not quite sure what or how it happened; but now I see things in a different light.
This isn't my primary journal. Mainly I use this for journals of a sexual nature. Since my sex life had been kind of slow since well before I started this. The result is that I hadn't posted much. Mostly I used this to view pictures of nude women and add some generic comment like "very nice". Not because I didn't like the pictures. It was just that I couldn't come up with comments like others did. I was always amazed at some of the comments people would leave. Odd are that they have never met and most likely wouldn't. Yet they still commented like they were old friends. I guess that I need more of a connection between people to make comments like that. Otherwise it comes off sounding like I'm some type of perve.
The big change in my life is that there is now someone I consider a girlfriend in it. Which makes this even better is that she considers me a boyfriend, something new to me. If I had to describe my image of the woman I thought I would end up with, it wouldn't had been her. We often joke that both of us are people that we never saw ourselves ending up with someone like us. However, we do have some connection.
The fact that she is older and a little large didn't really matter much. I would be lying to say I didn't have any reservations. During high school and college when most people experience their wild times. I was overloading on classes and working two jobs. So I missed out on most of the fun times. So I do think I missed out on somethings.
Over New Years I went to a party, a very adult party. There was an auction and I won this very beautiful young woman. While things didn't go as far as I would have liked (both of our others had asked we set some rules). It did give me the chance to see that age, size and shape really didn't matter. I had always said that before, but this was the first time I could put that theory to the test.
Since that night things have been different in my life. For one, I now have confidence. Before I would always chicken out before the end. Mostly due to fear of rejection. Now that doesn't seem to mater to me. Before when ever I saw a woman, my mind would turn to sex. Undressing her with my eyes, thinking about us together. Hence why I'm a member of so many "Show_me_' '" journals. Now I don't look at women in the same way. While I still would like to see them sans clothes, it isn't the overriding view. I can now look at women as just a woman. I'm not sure if that makes much sense to anyone but me. However, I do know that I have started to look and comment in fewer sex journals.
Not really sure what is happening to me, but I think I like it.
Mostly due to things at work getting busy. However, something has changed in my life. Not quite sure what or how it happened; but now I see things in a different light.
This isn't my primary journal. Mainly I use this for journals of a sexual nature. Since my sex life had been kind of slow since well before I started this. The result is that I hadn't posted much. Mostly I used this to view pictures of nude women and add some generic comment like "very nice". Not because I didn't like the pictures. It was just that I couldn't come up with comments like others did. I was always amazed at some of the comments people would leave. Odd are that they have never met and most likely wouldn't. Yet they still commented like they were old friends. I guess that I need more of a connection between people to make comments like that. Otherwise it comes off sounding like I'm some type of perve.
The big change in my life is that there is now someone I consider a girlfriend in it. Which makes this even better is that she considers me a boyfriend, something new to me. If I had to describe my image of the woman I thought I would end up with, it wouldn't had been her. We often joke that both of us are people that we never saw ourselves ending up with someone like us. However, we do have some connection.
The fact that she is older and a little large didn't really matter much. I would be lying to say I didn't have any reservations. During high school and college when most people experience their wild times. I was overloading on classes and working two jobs. So I missed out on most of the fun times. So I do think I missed out on somethings.
Over New Years I went to a party, a very adult party. There was an auction and I won this very beautiful young woman. While things didn't go as far as I would have liked (both of our others had asked we set some rules). It did give me the chance to see that age, size and shape really didn't matter. I had always said that before, but this was the first time I could put that theory to the test.
Since that night things have been different in my life. For one, I now have confidence. Before I would always chicken out before the end. Mostly due to fear of rejection. Now that doesn't seem to mater to me. Before when ever I saw a woman, my mind would turn to sex. Undressing her with my eyes, thinking about us together. Hence why I'm a member of so many "Show_me_' '" journals. Now I don't look at women in the same way. While I still would like to see them sans clothes, it isn't the overriding view. I can now look at women as just a woman. I'm not sure if that makes much sense to anyone but me. However, I do know that I have started to look and comment in fewer sex journals.
Not really sure what is happening to me, but I think I like it.