MY NOTEBOOK CONFESSION
i dont really know how to begin something like this. but i have to say what ive been thinking. ive lied alot. made plenty mistakes. i hurt people and cared, then their are others i didnt even give the slightest thought about. im not religious, i dont talk to god. i sin all the time. its never occurred to me though that maybe i set myself up. now i dont want anyones pity, or anyone to comment about what ive written in here. it is not for you. for me. selfish. but i need this. maybe the bad things i have done have altered the route my life has taken. maybe if i had made better choices i would have met better people. ive made bad choices & met few great people. if i made great choices, would my people also be great? maybe i lack love because i dont give it. my heart bleeds inside of me when i utter your name. i love love love you. you hurt, me i hurt you. maybe we're even now. i want you. i'm so so sorry. i cry for us. remember you used to love me. please.
now we dont talk. well i dont consider once every month to a month and a half talking. almost like updates, really. our relationship never was one of crazy love. you protected yourself, i was too immature. but now, is it so weird that i still know you? is it weird that i've watched you grow? written, communicated to you any way possible while you were living through your mistakes and reprecusions. i'm not sure what the point of all this is really. am i asking for a second, well hardly second. no. yes, a real second chance? i might. yes. no i'm not. i'm obviously going insane. i can not talk to anyone about this. there is nothing they can say. only the people this is applied to. me and you. you and me.
now our love never did blossom. you were sweet to me. i love our quickness. again, i was immature. i haven't watched you grow. it's really the other way around. put up with my everything, you knew so much more. i had to learn, and you taught me some. i drooled over you. you knew it. you had so much power. then we died. then alive again. i want to say our love is zombie. but that just hurts.
{EDIT} i'm turning the comments back on. i can take the critisism now. {/EDIT}