If you read this whole thing and then comment, I'll give you a dollar.
I don't know. I was at Alec's today. And I was thinking..
Life seems so surreal, you know? Like..I've known this kid for 7 months almost. And I know him like I know the back of my hand. But..It's weird. I can't explain it. Just sitting there, looking at him..His face..his hands..his clothes..From his shoes to the tops of the liberty spikes he puts in his hair everyday..Just looking at his outline against the wall..It seemed so surreal. Like I wasn't there for a minute.
And I just sat and thought..how much to I actually know about this kid? What can I do with him or around him that I won't regret doing? How do I know that when he tells me what he's thinking, that he's really not thinking I'm a moron? How do I know that this is really him? And not just some show he puts on because he wants something from me.
I dunno. Just ranting. I probably sound corny as hell. But I don't know. Life is..life is surreal.
You never know. I know. And that scares me.
Like..what if shit that happened today..didn't really happen? I mean, I know it sounds weird.. But it totally felt like a dream while it happened. It feels like it was just a dream now. So who's to say it wasn't? You probably think I'm crazy now, but honestly think.
Ok. I'm sitting here, writing in my journal, aye? And this, this right here, what I'm doing right now, the fact that I am writing to you guys in this, right now, that is reality, correct? But what if it's not? What if this entire world is just a figment of someone else's subconscious? What if none of us really exist outside this persons head? What if we are just the voices in the mind of someone sitting in an asylum, rocking back and forth and pulling out her hair?
You just don't know. You never know. And that's scary. Well, it scares me anyway.
I think about it, only when I think I've done something I might regret later. Because I try to cover it up. And tell myself that it didn't happen. Because it's not real, because all we are is a figment of someones imagination. It's just. I don't know. Because I think of all this stuff. And then I come back to reality and think holy fuck what the hell did I do? You know? And it scares me. Because sometimes when I think about it.. It's like no one is there. And then all of a sudden I snap back to reality and there are people trying to get me in on a conversation. And I have no clue what they're talking about.
Sometimes I guess I wish it were true though. The whole not being real. Because then I could do anything I want. And not have to regret it. Because I wouldn't be real. So fucking up my life would just be fucking up someones dream.
I don't know.
I feel like a movie today.
Life seems so surreal, you know? Like..I've known this kid for 7 months almost. And I know him like I know the back of my hand. But..It's weird. I can't explain it. Just sitting there, looking at him..His face..his hands..his clothes..From his shoes to the tops of the liberty spikes he puts in his hair everyday..Just looking at his outline against the wall..It seemed so surreal. Like I wasn't there for a minute.
And I just sat and thought..how much to I actually know about this kid? What can I do with him or around him that I won't regret doing? How do I know that when he tells me what he's thinking, that he's really not thinking I'm a moron? How do I know that this is really him? And not just some show he puts on because he wants something from me.
I dunno. Just ranting. I probably sound corny as hell. But I don't know. Life is..life is surreal.
You never know. I know. And that scares me.
Like..what if shit that happened today..didn't really happen? I mean, I know it sounds weird.. But it totally felt like a dream while it happened. It feels like it was just a dream now. So who's to say it wasn't? You probably think I'm crazy now, but honestly think.
Ok. I'm sitting here, writing in my journal, aye? And this, this right here, what I'm doing right now, the fact that I am writing to you guys in this, right now, that is reality, correct? But what if it's not? What if this entire world is just a figment of someone else's subconscious? What if none of us really exist outside this persons head? What if we are just the voices in the mind of someone sitting in an asylum, rocking back and forth and pulling out her hair?
You just don't know. You never know. And that's scary. Well, it scares me anyway.
I think about it, only when I think I've done something I might regret later. Because I try to cover it up. And tell myself that it didn't happen. Because it's not real, because all we are is a figment of someones imagination. It's just. I don't know. Because I think of all this stuff. And then I come back to reality and think holy fuck what the hell did I do? You know? And it scares me. Because sometimes when I think about it.. It's like no one is there. And then all of a sudden I snap back to reality and there are people trying to get me in on a conversation. And I have no clue what they're talking about.
Sometimes I guess I wish it were true though. The whole not being real. Because then I could do anything I want. And not have to regret it. Because I wouldn't be real. So fucking up my life would just be fucking up someones dream.
I don't know.
I feel like a movie today.