if you care enough to read it. then do it.
So I feel like typing. About nonsense. about my life. about the world. about people. But it might actually be kind of interesting .. if you take the time to read it. Who knows. You'll never know until you read it.
WHAT IS BOTHERING ME ALOT.
-People- one second they are someone to your face, and then they turn around and are someone else. You all are the fucking same. Smae boring outfits, boring things to say, with your cars, and your stupid hair, and your dumb Coach purses, and you guys especially the younger ones, always trying to be something because of everyone else. No one breathes for themselves anymore, or does anything from the heart, it's all about what looks good. What the fuck happened to what feels good? or right even? You're all the same. trying to be tough, or mean, or pissy, or trying to act like you know everything, or brag about lyke omg my mom is buying my a new car, and lyke I'm going to CANCUN for SPRING BREAK 06 OMGZ. Fuck Cancun. I hope you catch a disease. and fuck your new car. You shouldn't be proud. you didn't work for anything. People are so self absorbed these days and I notice it all the fucking time. I'm always as curtious and as pleasant as I can be, but damn, people are so rude. I love you ones that stare too in the mall, and then walk away casually talking about how much better you are than me and everyone else. Or how dirty she looks. Or how gross her gauged ears are. Or how poor he looks. Shut up and stop playing it so fucking high and mighty. because you aren't anything special.
-My Mom- It is my senior year right? My senior pictures are waiting to be ordered. My Daddy just wrote my Mother whom I reside with a check for 3000.00 so he wouldn't have to pay child support, and she did just what we knew she would. spent it allll on herself. It's suppose to go for Gas to get me to and from school and work. To food. because we neevr have any. For the bills that never get paid, and for extra money for me when I have none. And what does the broad do? Spent it all on herself. I now have no health insurance, no car, no nothing. no food, no ride to school. I'm in danger of not making it out of high school with my class. not getting senior pictures, not getting my senior hoodie, no last year book. I'm basically missing out on my whole high school life. I feel singled out. All my other sisters got all those things, why can't I? I hate her. She's selfish and something I never want to be. Thank God I have my sister to help me save for Spring Break. California. finally, a real escape. But what I really want to do, is move. far and leave this place forever and never look back. I wish it was as easy as taking the things and people I loved with me, and leaving everyone shitty to rot in their own.
-School- I can't pull through. I need new glasses, and I feel like I'm not making it. I'm sinking in . I'm failing. And I have the easiest classes ever, and I'm failing. I'm undecisive. I have been wanting to get alot of tests done with my doctor. but right now, that is impossible without health insurance. I need tests done about my sleep, because I have what they call "sleep attacks", I want to be put back on BC, I want tests done with my head, and my Bi Polar disorder, and see what is really going on inside my crazy head.
-Friends- I don't even know what to think of alot of you most of the time. You confuse me, I don't even know if you are true. I'm losing the grasp between reality and fake.
AND. You idiots doing drugs. WTF. Whatever. Fuck you. Figure it out. I've lost 2 friends to drugs in the past year, Both in their teens. and one was MURDERED SO FUCK YOU. fuckfuckfuckfuck you. If you want to die, go for it. Destroy yourself. Because if you're stupid enough to get into that shit. Then fuck you. I don't want to have to care or go to another funeral you fucking jerks. If you don't even care about yourself to do that shit, then you clearly can't care about me, and can just erase yourself from my life right now.
WHAT IS MAKING ME SMILE
-My Job- I love my work , and i make really good money there. And even though I am exhausted with everything, I need it more now than ever. I have to get out of here soon. My mom, is clinically insane and I hate her. I love the people I work around and mostof the people that I talk to. and the people I work with. They are a good family.
-My Relationship-Let's just say, it's alot better this time around .And I enjoy having someone to give me cute surprises and being reassured that someoen cares about me<3.
-Traveling- I have got to see alot of things in my life. Virginia was amazing, eevrything about it was amazing, and I met amazing people. I am going to a new state every month until I graduate. I just want to travel the whole world. and see everything, and meet everyone.
-Myself- Even if you don't like the person I am becoming. All of this crap that is tearing me down, I know will only make me stronger, It's just hard getting through it all. I like the strong, determined individual I am becoming .I am eighteen now, and can move out. It's just that whole saving the money part that is rough, But I promise my Daddy, my sisters, and anyone who meets me, that I will never be my mother. I am ashamed that I came out of her. She is good looking., but selfish. And my Dad is the complete opposite. I am glad that i inherited more of his good qualities rather than hers. Though Bi Polar is passed down, I'm trying to be on the up side rather than the down. I do not want to be crazy like my mom. I refuse to. I am still trying to quit smoking, it is happening, slowly, but surely.
that is my like once in a 6 month rant to all of you who cared
---Lindsay----
WHAT IS BOTHERING ME ALOT.
-People- one second they are someone to your face, and then they turn around and are someone else. You all are the fucking same. Smae boring outfits, boring things to say, with your cars, and your stupid hair, and your dumb Coach purses, and you guys especially the younger ones, always trying to be something because of everyone else. No one breathes for themselves anymore, or does anything from the heart, it's all about what looks good. What the fuck happened to what feels good? or right even? You're all the same. trying to be tough, or mean, or pissy, or trying to act like you know everything, or brag about lyke omg my mom is buying my a new car, and lyke I'm going to CANCUN for SPRING BREAK 06 OMGZ. Fuck Cancun. I hope you catch a disease. and fuck your new car. You shouldn't be proud. you didn't work for anything. People are so self absorbed these days and I notice it all the fucking time. I'm always as curtious and as pleasant as I can be, but damn, people are so rude. I love you ones that stare too in the mall, and then walk away casually talking about how much better you are than me and everyone else. Or how dirty she looks. Or how gross her gauged ears are. Or how poor he looks. Shut up and stop playing it so fucking high and mighty. because you aren't anything special.
-My Mom- It is my senior year right? My senior pictures are waiting to be ordered. My Daddy just wrote my Mother whom I reside with a check for 3000.00 so he wouldn't have to pay child support, and she did just what we knew she would. spent it allll on herself. It's suppose to go for Gas to get me to and from school and work. To food. because we neevr have any. For the bills that never get paid, and for extra money for me when I have none. And what does the broad do? Spent it all on herself. I now have no health insurance, no car, no nothing. no food, no ride to school. I'm in danger of not making it out of high school with my class. not getting senior pictures, not getting my senior hoodie, no last year book. I'm basically missing out on my whole high school life. I feel singled out. All my other sisters got all those things, why can't I? I hate her. She's selfish and something I never want to be. Thank God I have my sister to help me save for Spring Break. California. finally, a real escape. But what I really want to do, is move. far and leave this place forever and never look back. I wish it was as easy as taking the things and people I loved with me, and leaving everyone shitty to rot in their own.
-School- I can't pull through. I need new glasses, and I feel like I'm not making it. I'm sinking in . I'm failing. And I have the easiest classes ever, and I'm failing. I'm undecisive. I have been wanting to get alot of tests done with my doctor. but right now, that is impossible without health insurance. I need tests done about my sleep, because I have what they call "sleep attacks", I want to be put back on BC, I want tests done with my head, and my Bi Polar disorder, and see what is really going on inside my crazy head.
-Friends- I don't even know what to think of alot of you most of the time. You confuse me, I don't even know if you are true. I'm losing the grasp between reality and fake.
AND. You idiots doing drugs. WTF. Whatever. Fuck you. Figure it out. I've lost 2 friends to drugs in the past year, Both in their teens. and one was MURDERED SO FUCK YOU. fuckfuckfuckfuck you. If you want to die, go for it. Destroy yourself. Because if you're stupid enough to get into that shit. Then fuck you. I don't want to have to care or go to another funeral you fucking jerks. If you don't even care about yourself to do that shit, then you clearly can't care about me, and can just erase yourself from my life right now.
WHAT IS MAKING ME SMILE
-My Job- I love my work , and i make really good money there. And even though I am exhausted with everything, I need it more now than ever. I have to get out of here soon. My mom, is clinically insane and I hate her. I love the people I work around and mostof the people that I talk to. and the people I work with. They are a good family.
-My Relationship-Let's just say, it's alot better this time around .And I enjoy having someone to give me cute surprises and being reassured that someoen cares about me<3.
-Traveling- I have got to see alot of things in my life. Virginia was amazing, eevrything about it was amazing, and I met amazing people. I am going to a new state every month until I graduate. I just want to travel the whole world. and see everything, and meet everyone.
-Myself- Even if you don't like the person I am becoming. All of this crap that is tearing me down, I know will only make me stronger, It's just hard getting through it all. I like the strong, determined individual I am becoming .I am eighteen now, and can move out. It's just that whole saving the money part that is rough, But I promise my Daddy, my sisters, and anyone who meets me, that I will never be my mother. I am ashamed that I came out of her. She is good looking., but selfish. And my Dad is the complete opposite. I am glad that i inherited more of his good qualities rather than hers. Though Bi Polar is passed down, I'm trying to be on the up side rather than the down. I do not want to be crazy like my mom. I refuse to. I am still trying to quit smoking, it is happening, slowly, but surely.
that is my like once in a 6 month rant to all of you who cared
---Lindsay----