i'll hold on to the dream of this beggar's plea and optimistic fantasy

[_empyrean]

I find myself slipping back into my old habits so easily now that I'm home. I don't want to be who I was in high school. I've come so far. I just get back into that high school frame of mind, especially when I see certain people. Eh...I just want to mean something to someone. I need to find a job

Comments

[da5hb0ardm3g]

yay honor roll GOOD JOB!!!

yeah I hear ya... getting away from Middleboro gives you a lot of perspective...I find even though I didn't go away to school I have changed a lot since high school :) and I know you have too :) just be who you are, and if people dont like it then fuuuuuck em lol

[_empyrean]

thanks Meg! :)

Just taking the time to write back means a lot.

I know, it just hurts when people don't like me.

But as the saying goes, "I'd rather be hated for who I am, than loved for someone I'm not"

[_empyrean]

thanks Dana! I was so happy to see that you commented, lol. Well in high school I was just really shy and awkward and I think not a lot of people got to know me very well. I love you so much too! We should meet up in Boston! I think I'm going in a couple weekends from now. It's always fun hanging out with you! lol wait until it's 24-7!

Actually, when I said I want to mean something to someone - that was towards anyone. I just feel that some people don't care, even if they do, they may not show it. I just seem to be drifting away from people and it sucks. I feel lonely a lot.

I ♥ you, my new roomie!

[_empyrean]

alright niiice, we'll have to find a Saturday sometime soon where we're both free! I hope I can overcome that once and for all too...I know I can do it. I'm feeling much better. I just think too much sometimes, lol. :) ♥

[twilightballet]

I think it's funny how you said "Anyone remember Jewel?" lol like we'd forget herrrrr ♥

I love "Foolish Games"
and "You were Meant for Me" or whatever it's called hehe

[_empyrean]

those are good songs too. I just really love her lyrics and her poetry. She's inspirational, like everytime I'm feeling a certain way - I can find a song that relates to me exactly. :)

[buttercup3925]

Never worry that you don't mean something to anyone. You mean so many things to so many people who love you and care about you, that the people who can't see how wonderful you are shouldn't matter. You inspire me sometimes, especially when you talk about how much you've accomplished since graduating. You mean something to me, if that makes a difference.

[_empyrean]

thank you so much. Of course that makes a difference. Knowing that gives me the strength that I need. To know that I can somehow inspire you, or anyone else, that means a lot. I just want to make a positive difference in peoples' lives. :)

[buttercup3925]

You do make a positive difference. Sometimes the biggest results are also the quietest ones, so you may not be aware of them, but trust me, the difference you've made is there.

[_empyrean]

aww, thanks Amanda! That's a good point. I love you :)