I focus on the pain, the only thing that's real
Eva called to let me know that there is only one Julian. He's the father of all us and we have no idea what happened to the Julian in two of the dimensions. No idea which dimension this Julian was originally from. Just that he created the same family in each dimension. Married the same woman three times. Cheated with the same woman three times.
We were...science experiments? That is the best explanation I can come up with. He did things slightly different in my case which each me. In Ev's dimension he was the doting father who claimed his son and gave him his name. In Eva's dimension...I don't know. She didn't know about him, but who knows if he played a part in that Evan's life. Not that it matters. That Evan is dead.
Me? I was the one he had nothing to do with. Nature versus nuture in it's purest form. The son of a bitch. We're all siblings. Triplets? Two sets? I can't make sense of it. All I know is that Julian is a monster and I am a better man as a demon than he is with his soul and heart beat.
My father. He's not my father. He's nothing to me, but what does it say that I am probably the most like him? Ruthless and willing to do anything to achieve my goals. I was cold and calculating before I was turned. I willingly signed my soul over to Wolfram and Hart and had no problem working for them, knowing what they did, and I was still human.
Is this what he wanted? Am I the heir he wished to create? Someone who turned out to be the mirror image of his genetics. Someone that he could watch and observe like a scientist, waiting to see if the experiment would be a success or a failure. Someone he never claimed as his own, until now. Now, when I am a demon and this is when he wishes to embrace me. When he wants me to be considered his son.
What kind of fucked up dna do I have? Is this why Ev and I willingly became vampires? Was it in our blood to become something that was no longer human?
Science experiments. My brothers and sisters and I were nothing more than science experiments and the bastard got away with it with three dimensions. I have no doubts he killed the other Julians. I wouldn't be surprised to learn he played a hand in what happened to my brother. He was willing to let Eva die. Why should we believe he'd look at any of us differently?
I'm not sure what disgusts me more. Knowing that he really is my father and that he was capable of pulling this off or knowing that out of all of us, I am the one most like him.